Children, let us not love with word, nor with tongue, but in deed and in truth.
John's appeal is short, but it lands on the thing that is easiest to fake. He asks whether our love ever shows up outside our talk.
What John Rules Out
The two phrases John rejects are not one idea said twice. One writer goes back to the Greek behind the first word and finds it covers more than speech. (The ESV renders the two phrases "in word or talk.")
The apostle says, "Let us love not in word, neither in tongue." This looks like repetition, but it is not. The term "logos," here translated "word," has a much wider meaning than our "word." In English, "not in word, neither in tongue" is repetition. But this word "logos" means, in Greek, not merely the word by which thought is expressed, but the thought itself. So the apostle's point is this. We are not to love in theory (or in thought), nor in mere language ("in tongue"), but in deed and in truth.
Commentators differ on the exact shade of the two terms. Another reads them as the plain statement and then the skill of saying it well:
In 'word' is the actual expression coming from our lips, which may be very good, but with no actions to back it up. In 'tongue' would rather indicate the handling of the words, the art of persuasive speech. How empty this is if its truth is not proved in our deeds.
Love and Deeds Together
The verse does not just call for activity. It calls for acts that come out of love:
Love as a theory is held to be very beautiful — but it is not practised. The heart deceives itself. This is loving in thought only. This passage is the reverse of 1 Corinthians 13. There Paul deals with works without love. Here it is, as it were, love without works — that is, mere sentimentality. But our passage crushes both errors. It condemns love without deeds, and also deeds without love. It calls for deeds, but the deeds must come from love; that is, not in theory, nor in talk, but in acts and in truth.
The Standard Is God's Own Love
The call is not a random rule. God asks us to answer Him in the way He loved us:
God looks for reality. He is not satisfied with mere words of high profession. He says to us, "Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." He, blessed be His name, did not love us in word or in talk. He loved us in deed and in truth. And He looks for a response from us — a response that is clear, full, and distinct. It is a response that comes out in a life of good works.
Where It Gets Tested
Dying for a fellow believer is rare. One writer points to a test far closer to home:
We may not often be called to lay down our life for our brothers and sisters. But are there not plain, simple, everyday ways in which love is tested? My brother may have need. It is no use talking about being ready to die for him if I shrink back at once from meeting his ordinary, and maybe urgent, need. There is nothing great here. It is ordinary, but how practical! How it puts the heart to the test, and it is a test that could come any day of the week.
Another writer pictures how that failure looks in daily life:
"Let us not love in word or talk." It would not be divine love to send the poor brother away with a blessing — I mean a spoken one, so well known — and the latest improved tract. Divine love gives real, material help.
The Easiest Self-Deception
Talk about love can even take the form of complaining that others lack it:
This is a duty about which many deceive themselves. Nothing is easier than to call for love and complain that others are short of it. But some who are loudest in the complaint are very short of it themselves. They want, or think they want, to be objects of love; but the right way is for us to love, if we would indeed be loved. When the heart goes out in goodness with no selfish aim, it draws out other hearts. The lip, though, learns all too easily to talk about love and stop there.
What It Produces
Love like this also does something inside the believer:
The point here is that if we love in deed and in truth, our hearts will have assurance before God, and so have boldness in prayer.
Summary
- Pattern. God did not love us in word or talk, so words alone cannot be our answer to Him.
- Word. John rules out two things: the private theory of love, and the polished talk about it.
- Balance. The verse cuts two ways: it condemns love without deeds, and deeds that do not come from love.
- Test. The test is rarely dying for a brother. It is meeting his ordinary need today with real help, not a kind sentence.
- Result. Love proved in deeds gives the heart assurance before God. That assurance gives boldness in prayer.