My son, if thou hast become surety for thy friend, if thou hast stricken thy hand for a stranger,
Proverbs 6 opens with a warning about money: putting your name behind another person's debt. The warning is urgent, and it comes with a way out for anyone who has already made the promise.
To act as surety is to take on someone else's debt as your own. The first question is not how close the friend is. It is whether you are ready to pay.
How necessary this warning is for believers, against becoming surety for someone they think of as a friend. If I commit myself to be surety for another person's debts, I must be ready to pay all those debts. I may think it is only a matter of time before I am repaid, but things do not always turn out that way — they do not even often turn out that way. Making pledges is also unwise for a believer, because they still hold him even when he sees they were not right at all. How much better never to make pledges, but to stay free to give gladly and without conditions whenever the occasion comes.
Notice what does the trapping. It is not a court, a creditor, or bad luck — it is a sentence the son himself spoke. That is why the alternative offered is giving without any string attached.
How much better it is never to make any pledges, but to be free to willingly give without conditions when the occasion for this arises.
A kind person can hear the command to love your neighbour as yourself and decide that signing is the loving thing to do. So God gives His own people counsel here, rather than leaving the choice to feeling.
It was all the more striking that the LORD should give counsel to His own people, who might feel awkward because of His command to love your neighbour as yourself. He did not leave the matter to human judgment, or to the clash between that judgment and kind feeling. Instead He warns of the dangerous result of giving in to impulse.
Commentators differ on how absolute the ban is. Some read it as a flat ban where a stranger is involved. Others read it as a warning against acting without thinking, and they attach a clear test.
Does this word, then, forbid such an act of kindness outright? It certainly warns against the thoughtless haste that too often goes into such a promise. If you are ready before God to lose everything at stake, and you believe it is His will, you are free. But even apart from the claims of your own family, are you not a steward? Are you sure the arrangement will bear the light? Is it for speculation?
Another writer draws the same line, and admits how hard it can be to say no.
Proverbs condemns becoming surety for another person as unwise... It condemns being surety for a stranger completely. Many a Christian has suffered by going surety for a friend. It may be hard to refuse, but it is unrighteousness unless the one who stands surety can bear the loss, should it fall on him.
The verse does not shame the person who has already given his word. There is a way out, and it starts with swallowing pride.
But suppose you have already spoken the words, and you wake up to see your folly. Do not give in to pride or stubbornness. "Save yourself" — and not by scolding your neighbour, but by admitting the plain truth that you were careless. "Give your eyes no sleep and your eyelids no slumber" until this is done.
Acting fast matters as much as being humble, and the gain goes beyond money.
If in true humility I apologize to him at once after I have failed, and do not put it off, the results will always be good. I will free myself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, and like a bird from the trapper's snare. At least this will remove the bad feelings between friends, which would otherwise only grow.
The opening of the chapter carries a second warning alongside this one. Together they cover both directions of time.
The beginning of this chapter sets out two great principles of life: do not bind yourself for the future, and do not be lazy and idle in the present... Binding yourself for the future means committing to something whose outcome no one can control.
Proverbs warns us away from standing surety for a stranger. One Person did it anyway.
Solomon, who was both wealthy and wise, warns in his book of Proverbs against standing surety. "Whoever puts up security for a stranger will surely suffer harm" (Proverbs 11:15). Still, the Lord Jesus Christ, in His matchless grace, took up our cause — and we were strangers indeed. He Himself took on our liabilities and paid our debts. The sorrows and sufferings of the Cross show us the price He had to pay for our Redemption.
- Word — Your own promise is the trap. It still holds you after you see it was unwise.
- Weight — Before you sign, ask if you could pay the whole loss yourself. If not, taking it on is not kindness.
- Wisdom — Kind feeling says yes. God gives counsel instead of impulse, and asks whether you are a steward of what you are risking.
- Way out — If you have already given your word, go at once. Humble yourself, admit your own carelessness, and do not sleep until it is settled.
- Surety — What you cannot safely do for a stranger, Christ did for us. He took our debts and paid them in full.
thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth.
Proverbs 6 opens with a father's alarm: his son has promised to pay another man's debt. This verse names the result — the son's own words have caught him, and the question now is whether he can get free.
The snare is not a creditor's cruelty or a friend's dishonesty. It is the pledge itself.
This warning is so necessary for believers. It warns against becoming surety for someone you think is a friend. If I commit myself to be surety for a man's debts, I must be prepared to pay all those debts. I may think it is only a matter of time before I am repaid, but things do not always — or even often — turn out that way. Making pledges is not wise for a believer either. He will be held to them even when he sees they are not at all appropriate.
The pledge does more than create a debt. It hands your future to the other man.
The moral sense is clear: "go and get it settled" at once, even if the process is humbling. The connection with humbling yourself is this. You have taken responsibility for the man. Now you must go and press him to clear you and get you out of the trouble. This is very humbling, but you are in his hand. I suppose those who have been in this position know that "going surety" generally means "paying".
Solomon repeats this warning later in the book, and the losses it describes are not theoretical.
Then Solomon warns his son against going surety for his friend or striking a bargain with a stranger. "He who hates striking hands in pledge is secure" (Proverbs 11:15). How many businessmen have suffered by not paying attention to this instruction.
The way out is not to tear up the promise. It costs the man his pride instead.
It was all the more notable that Jehovah should counsel His own here. They might feel embarrassed by His command to love your neighbour as yourself. He does not leave the matter to human judgment, or to its clash with kind feeling. He warns of the dangerous result of yielding to impulse. If you have taken the unwise step, it is right to admit it. It is wrong to break the words you have spoken, even though they hurt. What then is fitting? "Go, humble yourself and plead urgently with your neighbour." This is painful, but healthy. Jehovah will not fail to bless obedience to His word. He will make a way of escape for both, though each may have to suffer for his own share of fault.
The warning targets a particular fault — speaking before thinking — not kindness itself. And the way out begins with owning the mistake rather than blaming the other party.
Does this word then completely forbid such an act of kindness? It certainly warns against the thoughtless haste that so often goes into such a deal. If you are prepared before God to lose everything that is at stake, and you believe it is His will, you are free. But quite apart from the claims of closer relationships, are you not a steward? Are you sure the undertaking will bear the light? Is it for speculation? But suppose you have spoken the words and you wake up to see your folly — do not give way to pride or stubbornness. "Deliver yourself"; and do it, not by scolding your neighbour, but by confessing the plain truth of your own carelessness.
There is one exception to Solomon's rule.
Suretyship. He became surety of a better covenant (Hebrews 7:22). Solomon was both wealthy and wise. In his book of Proverbs he warns against being surety: "Whoever puts up security for a stranger will surely suffer harm" (Proverbs 11:15). Yet the Lord Jesus Christ, in His matchless grace, took up our cause — strangers indeed. He Himself took on our liabilities and paid our debts. The sorrows and sufferings of the cross show us the price He had to pay for our redemption.
- Snared — the trap in this verse is self-made; a man's own mouth catches him, and the pledge holds even after he regrets it.
- Handed over — the pledge puts your future in your neighbour's hand, and going surety usually means paying.
- Humbled — the way out is not to break your word. Go at once, admit your carelessness, and urge your neighbour to release you.
- Tested — kindness is not forbidden. Ask if you could bear the whole loss before God. You are a steward of what is not your own.
- Paid — Christ is the one Surety who took on strangers' debts. At the cross He paid what we could never cover.
Do this now, my son, and deliver thyself, since thou hast come into the hand of thy friend go, humble thyself, and be urgent with thy friend.
This verse speaks to someone who has already made the mistake and now has to get free of it. The advice is not how to avoid the trap but how to escape it — quickly, and by humbling yourself before the very person you tried to help.
To come "into the hand of your neighbor" is a real loss of control. One writer draws out both the force of the appeal and the cost of making it:
The sense would be "insist earnestly" with him, press upon him... The moral sense is clear, "to go and get it settled" at once, even if the process is humbling. The connection with humbling oneself is this: you have undertaken for the man, and now you must go and press upon him to clear you, and get you out of the scrape. This is very humbling, but you are in his hand... I suppose those who have been in this position know that "going surety" generally means "paying."
(Older translations render the phrase "humble yourself"; the ESV has "hasten.")
To "save yourself" here is not to attack the other man. The way out runs through an admission:
But suppose your words have been spoken, and you wake up to see your folly — do not give way to pride or stubbornness. "Deliver yourself"; and do it not by scolding your neighbour, but by confessing the simple truth of your own carelessness. "Give no sleep to your eyes nor slumber to your eyelids" until this is done. He who gives this direction can make His word effective, and it is as wise as ours may be foolish.
You are told to love your neighbour as yourself. So a command to untangle yourself from his debt can feel cold. The same writer names that tension:
It was all the more remarkable that Jehovah should counsel His own here. They might well feel awkward, since He had told them to love the neighbour as oneself. He does not leave the matter to human judgment, or to its clash with kindly feeling. He warns of the danger in yielding to impulse. If you have taken the unwise step, it is right to admit it. It is wrong to break the words you have spoken, even though keeping them hurts.
Own the folly, but keep your word. The outcome is God's: "Jehovah will not fail to bless subjection to His word, and make a way of escape for both, though each may have to suffer for his own share of the fault."
Does this rule out helping a friend at all? The same writer says no, but sets conditions:
It certainly warns against the thoughtless rashness that too often enters into such an agreement. If you are prepared before God to lose all that is at stake, and believe it is His will, you are free. But are you not a steward?
The verse says "go, hasten." One writer applies that speed to the moment you see you were wrong:
Humbling ourselves before the friend we have offended may not be easy. We may think he is partly to blame. But if I have been to blame in anything, it is my own failure I should judge. If in true humility I apologise to him at once after I have failed — not waiting for a later date — the results will always be good.
The loss here is bigger than money:
If a man has committed himself, he is not to treat his commitment lightly, but to take it as a present obligation. Yet if he wants to be free, he should go and get the person he is pledged for to discharge it at once. Otherwise we are in a situation we cannot control, in the hands of others. We are not free to serve God's will. We may face an unknown outcome that we are still bound to meet. Christians will find this rule of great importance for the quiet and peace of their lives. Breaking it brings sorrow and trouble of heart.
To be surety is to guarantee someone else's debt. One case of it went perfectly:
When the Lord Jesus became surety for us, He was fully prepared to bear all the consequences of our countless sins. He did this perfectly. He had both the ability and the willingness for this. Even if we should be willing to be surety for another, do we have the ability for it? Generally, the answer is no!
- Snared. Your own words caught you, not your neighbour's. So the way out starts with owning your carelessness.
- Humbled. The rescue runs through a humbling errand: go to the man himself and press him to release you.
- Now. Give no sleep to your eyes until it is settled. An apology made at once brings good results.
- Free. The aim is liberty, not just money saved. An obligation you cannot control leaves you unable to serve God's will.
- Covered. You may lack the ability to carry another's debt. Christ had both the willingness and the ability, and He bore it all.
Give not sleep to thine eyes, nor slumber to thine eyelids
A man has put his name behind someone else's debt, and the answer in verses 1–5 is an alarm, not calm advice. Why is a money promise this dangerous, and what must he do before he lies down again?
Kindness is what makes such a promise easy to give. God does not leave the matter to warm feeling. He names the danger and gives the cure, even when the cure hurts.
It was all the more striking that Jehovah should counsel His own people here. They might feel awkward, since He has also commanded them to love their neighbour as themselves. He does not leave the matter to human judgment, or to the clash between judgment and warm feeling. Instead, He warns of the dangerous result of yielding to impulse. If you have taken the unwise step, it is right to admit it. It is wrong to break the words you have spoken, even though they hurt. What then is fitting? "Go, humble yourself, and press your neighbour." This is painful, but healthy. Jehovah will surely bless obedience to His word. He will make a way of escape for both men, though each may have to suffer for his own share of the fault.
(Verse 3 in the ESV reads, "go, hasten, and plead urgently with your neighbor"; where these writers say "deliver yourself," the ESV says "save yourself.")
Losing sleep is not the point; a specific action is. And the action is not an argument with the other party — it is an admission about yourself.
Does this word forbid such an act of kindness altogether? It does warn against the thoughtless haste that so often goes into such an agreement. If you are prepared before God to lose everything that is at stake, and you believe it is His will, you are free. Even apart from the claims of those closest to you, are you not a steward? Are you sure the undertaking will bear the light? Is it for speculation? But suppose you have already spoken the words, and you wake up to see your folly. Do not give way to pride or stubbornness. "Deliver yourself." Do not scold your neighbour; confess the plain truth of your own carelessness. "Give your eyes no sleep and your eyelids no slumber" until you have done it. He who gives this direction can make His word effective, and His word is as wise as ours may be foolish.
The rule reaches wider than money. When you have wronged a friend, the same speed is part of the cure.
It may not be easy to humble ourselves before the friend we have offended. We may think he is partly to blame. But if I have been to blame in anything, it is my own failure I should judge. If in true humility I apologise at once, without waiting for a later date, the results will always be good. I shall deliver myself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, and like a bird from the snare of the fowler.
What is at stake is more than money. An entangled person is no longer his own to direct.
This chapter starts with two great principles of life: do not commit yourself for the future, and do not be lazy in the present... If a man has committed himself, he is not to treat his commitment lightly, but to take it as a present obligation. Yet if he wants to be free, let him go to the man he stood for and get him to clear the debt at once. Otherwise we are in a position we cannot control, in the hands of others. We are not free to serve God's will. We may face an unknown outcome, and we are still bound to meet it. Christians will find this rule of great importance for the quiet and peace of their lives. Breaking it brings sorrow and trouble of heart.
Verse 4 calls for wakefulness. The next paragraph sends the sleeper to school with the ant, and the contrast is the point.
In full contrast with the earnestness urged here is the lazy folly pictured so vividly next. The sluggard has sunk so low that Jehovah tells him to learn from the tiny ant, which is warning enough for him... Moral weakness in its easygoing way has handed its prey to the hunter and the fowler. In the same way, poverty comes on the listless and lazy like a tramp, or like an armed man no one can turn away. What goodness on Jehovah's part to guard His people from both traps along their earthly path!
- The snare — a pledge made on impulse hands your future to someone else, and the words of your own mouth are what hold you.
- The alarm — God does not tell you to sleep on it. No sleep until the matter is settled.
- The escape — confess your own carelessness. Do not blame the friend you pledged for.
- The timing — apologise today, not at some later date. That speed is what frees the bird from the snare.
- The prize — freedom to serve God's will, and a quiet, peaceful life. The sleeper who will not wake for it meets poverty instead.
deliver thyself as a gazelle from the hand [of the hunter], and as a bird from the hand of the fowler.
Commentary for this verse has not been generated yet.