Let thy fountain be blessed; and have joy of the wife of thy youth.
Most of chapter 5 warns a young man away from forbidden love. Here the warning turns into a gift: the same God who forbids the stolen relationship commands joy in the lawful one.
Earlier the chapter condemned the breach of marriage. Here the father turns to the tie itself, and to who made it.
Here it is another aspect of good and evil. The father insists on the close maintenance of the relationship itself as contrasted with the breach of it. God has formed it as a bond and centre of affections. And even in human affections it is a great thing to have a centre, so that the heart is united in itself there. It is affection in righteousness according to God's mind, so that conscience does not war against the heart... God's authority and creative will puts its sanction on it, so that His blessing can be enjoyed in it... His fountain is his own; that is, the whole family circle in its source. "Fountain" is used this way in the Hebrew scriptures, as in "the fountain of Jacob."
So "let your fountain be blessed" covers the whole family at its source. The blessing rests on a relationship God designed, where desire and conscience pull the same way.
A God-fearing heart loves outward, toward neighbours. It also has a centre at home, and that is what this passage presses.
The heart goes out to love its neighbour, or, as we Christians add, to love our enemies in the spirit of the gospel. The affections also have their centre within the family... So here we come to the proper place of the wife. This is the human relationship that survives from the beginning, when sin did not exist. It is just as necessary now that wrongdoing is everywhere. Wandering affections are selfish, carry their own shame, and have a permanent sting.
Marriage is older than sin, and sin has not made it out of date. Straying looks like freedom, but it costs the one who strays.
Note who wrote this. The man who failed badly in his own life is the one inspired to praise a single love. And the command is not just to stay faithful, but to be glad.
It is very striking that the man who failed openly by adding so many wives and concubines should be the one inspired to commend a single object of wedded love: "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth."... To be cheerful when out and gloomy at home is thankless and unholy. "Let marriage," the apostle urges, "be held in honor among all."
The sharpest line is the one about home. A man who saves his warmth for company and brings home a sour face has broken this verse, though he has broken no vow.
The verse names a blessing, not just a duty. And marriage is not the only path God blesses.
But the fountain of the individual believer is to be blessed. Marriage is to be "held in honor among all" (Heb. 13:4). It is a normal blessing that God has provided in creation, though some may be greatly blessed by remaining single for the glory of God.
Single life is not second-class here. It too can be a place of great blessing.
The joy comes with a guard. What follows this verse is a reminder: God watches a man's paths.
It is good to remember that Jehovah not only honours what He Himself set up for man, but also watches every wrong done against it... Others have pointed out that the word for going astray is the same word translated "ravished" (the ESV reads "intoxicated") — in a good sense in verse 19, and in a bad sense in verse 20... It is a departure that keeps going from bad to worse.
One word covers both being carried away by the right love and going astray after the wrong one. The same capacity blesses in one direction and ruins in the other, and it never stops at one wrong turn.
- Formed — God Himself formed marriage as a bond and centre of affections. His authority and creative will stand behind it, so His blessing can rest on it.
- Blessed — "Let your fountain be blessed" points to a blessing God built into creation. Single life can hold rich blessing too.
- Centred — Love goes out to neighbours, but affection has a home. Scattered affections are selfish and leave a lasting sting.
- Cheerful — The command is joy, not just faithfulness. To be cheerful out and gloomy at home is thankless and unholy.
- Watched — God honours what He set up, and He sees every sin against it. One word covers both the joy of right love and the straying of the man who trades it away.
As a lovely hind and a graceful roe, let her breasts satisfy thee at all times be thou ravished continually with her love.
Chapter 5 has warned a son about the "strange woman," whose words are sweet but whose end is bitter. Now it turns to the wife he already has, and the warning becomes a call to delight — the same heart that evil can capture is told to be captured by good.
The verses from 15 onward do more than forbid. One writer sees the father guarding the relationship itself, because God formed it to hold the heart in one place.
The father insists on the close maintenance of the relationship itself, in contrast to the breaking of it. God has formed it as a bond and a centre of affections. And even in human affections it is a great thing to have a centre, so that the heart is united in itself there. This is affection in righteousness, according to God's mind. So conscience does not fight the heart and make it evil and wilful. Instead God's authority and creative will approve it, so that His blessing can be enjoyed in it.
The same writer explains the word "strange." It marks what lies outside the bond God Himself formed.
"Strange" is an important word, and it is used often. All gods that are not Jehovah are strange gods; fire not from the altar was strange fire. It means what does not belong to us — what falls outside the relationship God has given us. God made them male and female: "bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." That is the closest possible relationship, as belonging to him.
One commentator notes who this call to a single love came through. He also objects to words that older translations add at the start of verse 19.
It is striking that the man who went wrong in public by adding so many wives and concubines should be the one inspired to commend a single object of married love. The words that translators added at the start of verse 19 are not only unnecessary; they weaken the sense. To be cheerful in public and gloomy at home is thankless and unholy. "Let marriage," the Apostle urges, "be honourable in all things." As the Authorized Version stands, the words read like a stamp of approval. It is really a call to hold the tie in honour, and that in every respect.
The picture of the deer is not decoration. It tells us what this wife is like.
Marriage is "held in honour among all" (Heb. 13:4). It is a normal blessing God has provided in creation. Yet some may be richly blessed by staying single for the glory of God. Still, it is a wonderful blessing from God that believers may rejoice with the wife of their youth (v. 18). And the wife is likened to "a loving deer and a graceful doe" — gentle, sensitive animals that are lovely to watch.
The satisfaction itself is God's gift, and a satisfied husband is not drawn elsewhere.
How gracious God is to give a believer a wife whose breasts satisfy him at all times, and whose love gives him deep joy (v. 19). Then no other would attract him at all — least of all one who has no moral worth (v. 20).
One word ties verse 19 to verse 20, and both to the warning at the end of the chapter.
It has been pointed out that the word "shall go astray" is the same word translated "ravished" in a good sense in verse 19 and in a bad sense in verse 20. This last prepares for what verse 23 calls for, especially when we compare Proverbs 26:11, "a fool repeats his folly." It is a departure that always goes on from bad to worse.
Being carried away is not the problem. What carries you away decides everything.
One writer takes the warning further. He hears in verse 20 a bid for love that belongs to Christ.
These verses warn us against the danger of our affections going astray. The verses before this appeal encourage us to give our whole affection to the One who has a right to it. This strange woman will make a bid to secure our affections, to which Christ only has a right.
- Centre. God formed marriage as a bond and a centre. The heart is gathered into one place instead of scattered.
- Sanction. God's own authority approves that bond. So conscience does not fight the heart, and the love carries His blessing.
- Honour. The verse is not a grudging permission. It calls a husband to hold the tie in honour — cheerful in public and gloomy at home is thankless.
- Satisfaction. The loving deer and graceful doe picture God's gift: a love so satisfying that no other attracts. God does not kill desire; He fills it.
- Direction. One word covers verse 19 and verse 20. A heart will be carried away by something, so the wise man gives it to the one who has a right to it.