Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.
For fourteen verses, Proverbs 5 warns a son away from a woman who is not his. At verse 15 the tone changes. The father stops forbidding and hands his son a picture of water that belongs to him. Why teach purity as an invitation to enjoy something? And what do the cistern and the well stand for?
In that land, nobody turned on a tap. People collected rain and stored it, so owning your own supply was a real benefit:
These were widely used in Palestine for collecting rain water. In Jerusalem every house has its cistern, and some have more than one. Solomon also brought water from long distances to be stored in cisterns... For every man to be able to drink water out of his own cistern was held out as a benefit. 2 Kings 18:31; Isa. 36:16. This is also used as a symbol of not indulging in illicit desires. Prov. 5:15.
The verse names two sources. One writer keeps them apart: the cistern holds stored water, and the well runs:
The word can be used in other ways. But in Proverbs 5:15 the well is distinct from the cistern as the place of "running," or "living," water. Such wells were the ones Isaac dug, not man-made cisterns. We find them in Genesis 26: "Isaac's servants dug in the valley and found there a well of spring water."
The first half of the chapter exposed desire running loose. Verse 15 turns to what that desire breaks:
The verses that follow (v. 15 onwards) look at corruption in another form — the breaking of the relationship God formed. What came before has judged the will let loose in corruption. It has shown the degrading influence of that will: how it drove all good out of the heart and made selfishness the rule of life... The father insists on holding the relationship close, instead of breaking it. God has formed it as a bond and a centre of affections.
The verse does not narrow love; it anchors it. A man may show kindness to many, yet one bond holds his heart together:
Even in human affections it is a great thing to have a centre, so that the heart is united in itself there. And this affection is righteous, according to God's mind. So conscience does not fight against the heart and turn it into evil and self-will. Instead, God's authority and creative will put their sanction on it, so that we can enjoy His blessing in it... We may go out in wide kindness to people outside it — all right — but here affection has its centre; there is a bond; and duty puts its seal on it. A man lives in his family, the first circle of divine order, formed by God Himself in paradise. Drinking water from his own cistern is the concentration of affection by which it is his own.
Both belong in a life that fears God:
Two things suit a man who fears God. There is the heart that goes out to love his neighbour — or, as we Christians add, to love our enemies in the spirit of the gospel. There is also the centring of the affections within the family... Wandering affections are selfish, carry their own shame, and have a lasting sting. Jehovah set up the family as a sacred circle around the parents. In the same way, He approves and commands warm affection in the head of the home toward the wife who matches him.
Notice who gives this advice:
Then the passage narrows to the partners of life. The one who openly erred by taking so many wives and concubines is the very one God inspired to commend one single love in marriage. That is striking... To be cheerful in public and sour at home is to be thankless and unholy. "Let marriage," the Apostle urges, "be held in honor among all."
One writer applies the cistern more widely. Truth, too, must be your own and not borrowed:
How important to make the truth of God our own — and not to borrow from others what may be contaminated and harmful. "Buy truth, and do not sell it" (Proverbs 23:23). If we buy it, it becomes our own, not merely borrowed. It may cost us our own pride or our own comfort in the flesh. Our fountains must certainly be for our own benefit, to refresh our own souls in communion with the Lord (v. 16)... Only when the truth becomes our own in reality will we be fit to use it for the true benefit of others.
- Own it. A cistern held a household's own water in a dry land. The verse tells a man to drink from what is his own.
- Centred. Kindness may go out to everyone, but affection has one centre. Wandering affections are selfish, carry shame, and leave a lasting sting.
- Sanctioned. God formed the bond, so conscience and heart pull the same way in it, and we can enjoy His blessing there.
- Honoured. The call is not just to stay faithful but to hold marriage in honour. Cheerful in public and sour at home fails it.
- First-hand. Truth that is bought becomes yours. Only what has refreshed your own soul can refresh anyone else's.
Thy fountains shall be poured forth, as water-brooks in the broadways.
Proverbs 5:16 sits inside a father's appeal to his son about marriage, told in the picture of water: a private cistern to drink from, and springs that spill into the open streets. Translators have long disagreed: is this line a warning question, or an invitation to let good overflow?
The verses before this one exposed lust let loose. From verse 15 the subject changes to the relationship God Himself formed.
The father insists on keeping the relationship itself whole, in contrast with breaking it. God has formed it as a bond and centre of affections. And even in human affections it is a great thing to have a centre, so that the heart is united in itself there... We may go out in wide kindness to people outside it — that is all right — but here the affections have their centre; there is a bond; and duty puts its seal on it... He lives in his family, drinking waters out of his own cistern — the focusing of affection that makes it his own — and his fountains are spread abroad, rivers of water in the streets. That is, his children fully represent him, and through them he has his importance everywhere. He is spread abroad in them. But there is unity in the whole family. His fountain is his own; that is, the whole family circle in its source.
Two things belong together in a life that fears God.
The heart goes out to love its neighbour — or, as we Christians add, to love our enemies in the spirit of the gospel. There is also the centring of the affections within the family. This second thing is what the father presses on his son here... Wandering affections are selfish, carry their own shame, and have a permanent sting.
Readers have taken the wording in opposite directions. One commentator lays out the options without forcing a verdict.
If the old Greek version in the Vatican copy translates verse 16 rightly, it means, "Do not spill the waters out of your fountain, but let your waters go into the open streets." The Alexandrian copy agrees with the Latin version and the older English Bible in leaving out the negatives. That gives the sense that the children will reflect their parents, according to the atmosphere they all breathed. The Revised Version prefers the question form. That confirms the concentrating of affection in the verse before, and it does not add the scattering abroad that the common versions suggest. It may not be easy to decide, but the Revised Version holds together better, and it fits verse 17 more naturally.
The ESV keeps the question form. Older English Bibles read it as a statement: "Let your fountains be dispersed abroad."
Read as a question, the verse expects the answer no. The principle reaches beyond marriage.
How important to make the truth of God our own! — and not to borrow from others what may be contaminated and harmful... Our fountains must be for our own benefit, to refresh our own souls in communion with the Lord (v. 16). Only when the truth becomes in reality our own shall we be fitted to use it also for the true benefit of others. "Streams of water in the streets" is a misuse of what God entrusts to us, like casting our pearls before swine. Strangers, that is, unbelievers (v. 17), are in no condition to enjoy the precious truth of God as those redeemed by the blood of Christ are.
Taken as an invitation, the same picture fits a believer who cannot keep the supply inside.
Belonging to Him who is the God of peace, we should be faithful witnesses of Him... The servant of the Lord is now at large, among his fellow men, in the new and gracious liberty of Christ. Through the faith of Jesus he has the springing well of life in him, and he is to let that fullness flow out as a river in the streets (Prov. 5:15-17; John 7:38-39).
The two readings meet here: what a person keeps private first is what helps others most.
This faith is a home joy of the soul. It abides within, choosing the privacy of the presence it loves best (Prov. 5:15-19). Faith of this kind courts no observation, and makes no boast of privilege. It is discovered in its effects, and these effects are always according to God, and therefore for blessing to others.
These limits are not God withholding pleasure. They are protection from One who knows how a man ruins himself.
What a safeguard for man when he is an outcast through his own sin!... How gracious of Him to warn and guard weak, passionate man from his own ruinous will!
- Centre. God formed marriage as the bond and centre of the affections. There the heart finds unity, and duty seals it.
- Question. Commentators differ on the wording. Read as a question, it guards the private cistern of verse 15. Read as a statement, it sends the waters out.
- Own. Whether truth or love, it must be yours first. Handing to strangers what God trusted you with is misuse, not generosity.
- Overflow. The well inside becomes a river in the streets. Faith that keeps quiet shows itself in its effects, and those effects bless others.
- Grace. These home rules are kindness, not restriction. God fences in weak, passionate people to save them from their own will.
Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee.
Two verses earlier the father tells his son to drink from his own well. Verse 17 closes the circle: who are these "strangers," and why does God fence one relationship so firmly?
This is not a call to a cold or narrow heart. One writer sets the command next to the wide love that marks a man who fears God.
Two things suit the man who fears God. There is the outgoing of heart that loves his neighbour, or, as we Christians add, that loves our enemies in the spirit of the gospel. There is also the centring of the affections within the family. This last is what the father here would impress on his son. So the proper place of the wife comes before us. It is the human relationship that survives from the beginning, when sin was not; it is just as essential now that the offence abounds. Wandering affections are selfish, carry their own shame, and have a permanent sting.
The word "strange" is used all through the Old Testament with one settled sense. It helps to know that Jehovah is God's own name there.
"Strange" is a word much used and important. All gods that are not Jehovah are strange gods; fire not from the altar was strange fire. It means whatever does not belong to us, whatever is not in the divinely given relationship in which we stand. Anyone but Jehovah was a stranger; any fire but the consecrated fire was strange; anyone but the shepherd was a stranger. God made them male and female, "bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh," the closest possible relationship of belonging to the man.
Verse 16 reads differently in different manuscripts and versions — some ask a question, some make a statement, some insert a "not." Verse 17 helps decide which reading fits.
If verse 16 is rendered rightly in the Vatican Septuagint, it means, "Let not waters out of your fountain be spilt by you, but let your waters go into the broadways." The Alexandrian text agrees with the Vulgate and the Authorized English Bible in leaving out the negatives, giving the sense that the children will reflect the parents according to the atmosphere they all breathed. The R.V. prefers the form of a question, which rather confirms the concentration of the verse before it, and does not add the scattering abroad suggested by the ordinary versions. It may not be easy to decide, but the R.V. has the effect of greater unity, and falls in more naturally with verse 17.
This is not a rule pressed on a man from outside. It answers to the way the heart works, and it keeps conscience and heart from fighting each other.
God has formed it as a bond and centre of affections. Even in human affections it is a great thing to have a centre, so that the heart is united in itself there. And this is affection in righteousness according to God's mind. So conscience does not war against the heart and turn it into something evil and wilful. Instead God's authority and creative will put their sanction on it, so that we can enjoy His blessing in it. Every way, due and right affection is in the heart. We may go out in generous kindness to objects outside of it — all right — but here affections are centred; there is a bond; and duty puts its seal on it.
Commentators differ on whether the wells and streams also picture something beyond marriage. One writer takes the "strangers" here to be unbelievers. He reads the water as a lesson in how we handle God's truth.
How important to make the truth of God our own — and not to borrow from others what may be contaminated and harmful. "Buy the truth, and do not sell it" (Proverbs 23:23). If we buy it, it becomes our own, not merely borrowed. It may cost us our own pride or our own comfort. "Streams of water in the streets" is a misuse of what God entrusts to us, similar to casting our pearls before swine. For "strangers," that is, unbelievers (v. 17), are in no condition to enjoy the precious truth of God as those redeemed by the blood of Christ are.
Another writer turns the picture the other way. He sees the well inside a believer flowing out to others.
Having in him, through the faith of Jesus, the springing well of life, he is to let that fullness go out as a river in the streets (Proverbs 5:15-17; John 7:38-39).
- Own — the water is for yourself alone: one supply, given to one man and one home.
- Stranger — "strange" means anything outside the relationship God formed. It covers strange gods and strange fire as much as a strange woman.
- Centre — affection needs a single centre, so that conscience and heart are not at war and God's blessing can rest on the bond.
- Guard — do not scatter what God has fenced in. One writer applies the same rule to the truth God entrusts to a believer.
- Honour — this bond goes back to the beginning, before sin entered; it matters just as much now.
Let thy fountain be blessed; and have joy of the wife of thy youth.
Most of chapter 5 warns a young man away from forbidden love. Here the warning turns into a gift: the same God who forbids the stolen relationship commands joy in the lawful one.
Earlier the chapter condemned the breach of marriage. Here the father turns to the tie itself, and to who made it.
Here it is another aspect of good and evil. The father insists on the close maintenance of the relationship itself as contrasted with the breach of it. God has formed it as a bond and centre of affections. And even in human affections it is a great thing to have a centre, so that the heart is united in itself there. It is affection in righteousness according to God's mind, so that conscience does not war against the heart... God's authority and creative will puts its sanction on it, so that His blessing can be enjoyed in it... His fountain is his own; that is, the whole family circle in its source. "Fountain" is used this way in the Hebrew scriptures, as in "the fountain of Jacob."
So "let your fountain be blessed" covers the whole family at its source. The blessing rests on a relationship God designed, where desire and conscience pull the same way.
A God-fearing heart loves outward, toward neighbours. It also has a centre at home, and that is what this passage presses.
The heart goes out to love its neighbour, or, as we Christians add, to love our enemies in the spirit of the gospel. The affections also have their centre within the family... So here we come to the proper place of the wife. This is the human relationship that survives from the beginning, when sin did not exist. It is just as necessary now that wrongdoing is everywhere. Wandering affections are selfish, carry their own shame, and have a permanent sting.
Marriage is older than sin, and sin has not made it out of date. Straying looks like freedom, but it costs the one who strays.
Note who wrote this. The man who failed badly in his own life is the one inspired to praise a single love. And the command is not just to stay faithful, but to be glad.
It is very striking that the man who failed openly by adding so many wives and concubines should be the one inspired to commend a single object of wedded love: "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth."... To be cheerful when out and gloomy at home is thankless and unholy. "Let marriage," the apostle urges, "be held in honor among all."
The sharpest line is the one about home. A man who saves his warmth for company and brings home a sour face has broken this verse, though he has broken no vow.
The verse names a blessing, not just a duty. And marriage is not the only path God blesses.
But the fountain of the individual believer is to be blessed. Marriage is to be "held in honor among all" (Heb. 13:4). It is a normal blessing that God has provided in creation, though some may be greatly blessed by remaining single for the glory of God.
Single life is not second-class here. It too can be a place of great blessing.
The joy comes with a guard. What follows this verse is a reminder: God watches a man's paths.
It is good to remember that Jehovah not only honours what He Himself set up for man, but also watches every wrong done against it... Others have pointed out that the word for going astray is the same word translated "ravished" (the ESV reads "intoxicated") — in a good sense in verse 19, and in a bad sense in verse 20... It is a departure that keeps going from bad to worse.
One word covers both being carried away by the right love and going astray after the wrong one. The same capacity blesses in one direction and ruins in the other, and it never stops at one wrong turn.
- Formed — God Himself formed marriage as a bond and centre of affections. His authority and creative will stand behind it, so His blessing can rest on it.
- Blessed — "Let your fountain be blessed" points to a blessing God built into creation. Single life can hold rich blessing too.
- Centred — Love goes out to neighbours, but affection has a home. Scattered affections are selfish and leave a lasting sting.
- Cheerful — The command is joy, not just faithfulness. To be cheerful out and gloomy at home is thankless and unholy.
- Watched — God honours what He set up, and He sees every sin against it. One word covers both the joy of right love and the straying of the man who trades it away.
As a lovely hind and a graceful roe, let her breasts satisfy thee at all times be thou ravished continually with her love.
Chapter 5 has warned a son about the "strange woman," whose words are sweet but whose end is bitter. Now it turns to the wife he already has, and the warning becomes a call to delight — the same heart that evil can capture is told to be captured by good.
The verses from 15 onward do more than forbid. One writer sees the father guarding the relationship itself, because God formed it to hold the heart in one place.
The father insists on the close maintenance of the relationship itself, in contrast to the breaking of it. God has formed it as a bond and a centre of affections. And even in human affections it is a great thing to have a centre, so that the heart is united in itself there. This is affection in righteousness, according to God's mind. So conscience does not fight the heart and make it evil and wilful. Instead God's authority and creative will approve it, so that His blessing can be enjoyed in it.
The same writer explains the word "strange." It marks what lies outside the bond God Himself formed.
"Strange" is an important word, and it is used often. All gods that are not Jehovah are strange gods; fire not from the altar was strange fire. It means what does not belong to us — what falls outside the relationship God has given us. God made them male and female: "bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." That is the closest possible relationship, as belonging to him.
One commentator notes who this call to a single love came through. He also objects to words that older translations add at the start of verse 19.
It is striking that the man who went wrong in public by adding so many wives and concubines should be the one inspired to commend a single object of married love. The words that translators added at the start of verse 19 are not only unnecessary; they weaken the sense. To be cheerful in public and gloomy at home is thankless and unholy. "Let marriage," the Apostle urges, "be honourable in all things." As the Authorized Version stands, the words read like a stamp of approval. It is really a call to hold the tie in honour, and that in every respect.
The picture of the deer is not decoration. It tells us what this wife is like.
Marriage is "held in honour among all" (Heb. 13:4). It is a normal blessing God has provided in creation. Yet some may be richly blessed by staying single for the glory of God. Still, it is a wonderful blessing from God that believers may rejoice with the wife of their youth (v. 18). And the wife is likened to "a loving deer and a graceful doe" — gentle, sensitive animals that are lovely to watch.
The satisfaction itself is God's gift, and a satisfied husband is not drawn elsewhere.
How gracious God is to give a believer a wife whose breasts satisfy him at all times, and whose love gives him deep joy (v. 19). Then no other would attract him at all — least of all one who has no moral worth (v. 20).
One word ties verse 19 to verse 20, and both to the warning at the end of the chapter.
It has been pointed out that the word "shall go astray" is the same word translated "ravished" in a good sense in verse 19 and in a bad sense in verse 20. This last prepares for what verse 23 calls for, especially when we compare Proverbs 26:11, "a fool repeats his folly." It is a departure that always goes on from bad to worse.
Being carried away is not the problem. What carries you away decides everything.
One writer takes the warning further. He hears in verse 20 a bid for love that belongs to Christ.
These verses warn us against the danger of our affections going astray. The verses before this appeal encourage us to give our whole affection to the One who has a right to it. This strange woman will make a bid to secure our affections, to which Christ only has a right.
- Centre. God formed marriage as a bond and a centre. The heart is gathered into one place instead of scattered.
- Sanction. God's own authority approves that bond. So conscience does not fight the heart, and the love carries His blessing.
- Honour. The verse is not a grudging permission. It calls a husband to hold the tie in honour — cheerful in public and gloomy at home is thankless.
- Satisfaction. The loving deer and graceful doe picture God's gift: a love so satisfying that no other attracts. God does not kill desire; He fills it.
- Direction. One word covers verse 19 and verse 20. A heart will be carried away by something, so the wise man gives it to the one who has a right to it.
And why shouldest thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
Chapter 5 has just told a son to rejoice in the wife of his youth. Now it asks him why he would want anyone else, and the verses that follow — God's watching eyes, the cords of sin — show where that road ends.
The question only stings because the son already has something.
Wandering affections are selfish, carry their own shame, and have a permanent sting. Jehovah set up the family as a sacred circle around the parents. In the same way He approves and commands warm affection in the husband toward his wife. It is the closest bond in society at large, as it is in the home.
There is an irony in who is asking. The man behind this warning broke it in his own life.
It is very striking that the man who went wrong in public by taking so many wives and concubines should be the one inspired to commend a single object of married love… To be cheerful in public and gloomy at home is to be thankless and unholy.
Older translations call her a "strange woman"; the ESV says "forbidden woman" and "adulteress". That older word matters, because Scripture uses it for anything out of its proper place.
"Strange" is a word much used and important. All gods that are not Jehovah are strange gods; fire not from the altar was strange fire. It means what does not belong to us, what stands outside the relationship God has given us… God made them male and female, "bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." That is the closest relationship there is, and she belonged to him, so expressing that love was right. This was mere corrupt lust; the woman was a stranger to the relationship God had formed. It drained the nature and the heart, and ended in death.
Older translations use one word twice here. Verse 19 tells the son to be "ravished" with his wife's love, and verse 20 asks why he would be "ravished" with a stranger. The same Hebrew word returns at the end of the chapter.
Others have pointed out that the word "shall go astray" is the same word translated "ravished" in a good sense in verse 19 and in a bad sense in verse 20. This last use prepares the way for what verse 23 calls for… It is a departure that always goes from bad to worse.
Affection itself is not the problem; affection cut loose from God is.
Nothing in nature is as lovely as affection. But how ruinous and defiling it becomes when the fear of God does not guide it! He is the One who puts us in our relationships and keeps us there, and those relationships are the ground of our duties. But a strange woman is such because she ignores and forsakes them, and seeks to entice others. Fair words of flattery may be the beginning, sweet to the flesh; but her end is extreme bitterness, and often deep wounds.
Verse 21 answers verse 20. God is watching every path, and the man who ignores that ties his own knots.
Above all, a man must realise that his ways are before the eyes of the Lord, who considers all his paths. The wicked man, by contrast, traps himself in his own iniquities, and his own sin holds him like cords (v. 22). If he took seriously that the Lord weighs all his actions, that would keep him from such a trap.
Some writers also read this warning spiritually. On that reading, verse 20 asks who owns your affection.
These verses warn us against the danger of our affections going astray. The verses before this call us to give our whole affection to the One who has a right to it. This strange woman will make a bid for our affections, and Christ alone has a right to them… We must avoid this woman if we are to keep our affections for Christ.
- Given — God set the marriage bond in place Himself. The son is asked to prefer what God has already given him.
- Strange — the word means not yours. She stands outside the relationship God formed, like fire brought to the altar from the wrong place.
- Ravished — one Hebrew word covers delight in a wife, delight in a stranger, and going astray. The same capacity is aimed two ways.
- Watched — verse 21 answers verse 20. No path is hidden, and the man who forgets it ends up bound by cords he wove himself.
- Claimed — read spiritually, the warning guards affection that belongs to Christ alone. That is why the writers urge distance, not debate.