My son, despise not the instruction of Jehovah, neither be weary of his chastisement;
Solomon has just promised plenty to those who honour the Lord with their wealth. Now he turns to a very different experience: the Lord's hand pressing on His own child. The verse takes for granted that God disciplines the people He blesses. It warns of two wrong ways to take it.
The opening words are not general advice to everyone. They set the verse inside a family bond, and that settles who God's correcting hand falls on:
Edward DennettHere the words are clearly spoken to someone in a known relationship, as the term "my son" plainly shows. The same is true in Hebrews 12, where this scripture is quoted, applied and expanded... This is how the Lord addresses those He has brought into relationship with Himself.
The word rendered "chastening" or "discipline" is wider than penalty. It covers the whole business of bringing a child up:
Raymond K. CampbellChastening is not just punishment or chastisement. It is really child training, instruction and discipline. Every child of God must go through it from the Father who deals with us as sons (Heb. 12:7).
That changes how faith meets a hard season:
L M GrantFaith will not despise the chastening of the Lord (v. 11), for faith recognises that we need chastening. This is not punishment, but training, which often involves what hurts us, but is always for our good. We are not to despise it — that is, to think lightly of it — for it has serious reasons. Nor are we to detest such correction, because in either case we are not receiving the benefits God intends by dealing with us this way.
This verse describes something closer than God's public ordering of the world:
William KellyAs always, there is another and more intimate kind of divine government, and it does not depend at all on the public state of things. It was true when Solomon reigned and wrote. It is only more fully revealed and more deeply known under the gospel. There is always a government of souls, and here it is stated very simply.
The verse forbids two opposite reactions. Kelly calls both of them snares of the enemy: "either to make light of His training, or to sink under His reproof, as if He were treating us harshly." Which one catches you often depends on your temperament:
F. B. HoleIf we are naturally lighthearted and optimistic, we tend to ignore the troubles God may see fit to pass us through. We put on a bold face and laugh things off, and do not recognise the hand of God in them at all. In doing so we despise His chastening. If, on the other hand, we are pessimistic and easily depressed by nature, our spirits faint under quite small troubles. Our faith seems to fail us. This is the opposite extreme. But just as much as the other, it means losing all the profit our troubles were meant to lead us into.
Each half of the warning has its own answer. One points to us; the other points to God:
J. N. DarbyThe word draws two conclusions from this truth that it is God's love. It will not be without a cause in me; it will never be without love in God. So I am not to despise it, for there is a cause in me which makes the Holy God of love act this way. I am not to faint, for it is His love which does it. It is correcting a son in whom his Father delights.
The pain has a destination, and God tells His children in advance what it is:
C E StuartMany an earthly parent acts on a whim; our Father does not. Many a trainer of the young deals with them without telling them why. But if God puts His children to school, as He surely does, He graciously tells them the aim He has in view — that we should be partakers of His holiness.
This is why the verse leaves no room for despair. The hand that corrects is a Father's hand, and He delights in the son He corrects.
- Sonship first. The address "my son" fixes the setting: this is a father speaking inside a family, so correction is evidence of belonging, not of rejection.
- Training, not penalty. The word covers the whole upbringing of a child — instruction and discipline — so the real question is what God is teaching, not what we are paying for.
- Two snares, one loss. Shrugging it off and sinking under it look nothing alike, but both end the same way: you lose the profit the trouble was meant to bring.
- Two answers. Do not despise it — there is a cause in you. Do not faint under it — there is love in God. Neither one is ever missing.
- A named destination. God does not train His children in the dark. He tells them the aim beforehand — that they should be partakers of His holiness.
for whom Jehovah loveth he chasteneth, even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.
Solomon tells his son why God corrects him, and the reason changes everything. The hand that corrects is the hand that loves. Behind God's discipline stands a Father who delights in the son He is correcting. That raises two hard questions: why me, and does God still care?
The verse does not just say what God does. It says why. One writer notes that this reason rules out the idea that correction is always punishment for wrong done:
William KellyThe reason given in our text, and quoted in the New Testament, fully bears out the love that present chastening flows from. "For the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights." But it is not always because of evil we have done. His chastening may be to guard us from evil. It may be preventive as well as corrective. Should we not, as children who trust Him, accept it with thanks? We have the distinct proof of His love. Let us never doubt, but believe and bow.
Older translations say "chastens" where the ESV says "reproves," which is why the writers quoted here speak of chastening.
The preceding line warns against two opposite reactions, and both are traps set by the enemy:
William KellyGod always governs souls, and here it is put in the simplest terms. What an affectionate call! "My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline or be weary of his reproof." These are the snares of the enemy — either to make light of His training, or to sink under His reproof, as if He were treating us harshly.
Each warning has its own answer. One comes from what is true of me, the other from what is true of God:
J. N. DarbyThe LORD chastens those He loves. … The word draws two conclusions from this truth. … It will not be without a cause in me; it will never be without love in God. So I am not to despise it, because there is a cause in me that makes the holy God of love act this way. And I am not to lose heart, because it is His love that does it. It is correcting a son in whom his Father delights.
The words open with "my son," and that address is not decoration. It fixes who the verse is speaking to:
Edward DennettHere the words are clearly spoken to someone in a known relationship, as the term "my son" plainly shows. The same is true in Hebrews 12, where this scripture is quoted, applied, and expanded.
The one corrected is a son. So this correction is nothing like the anger that rests on unbelief:
William KellyBut if, as God's child, I go against my Father, His fatherly government covers such a case, and I may have to suffer the present chastenings of His hand. … But how wide the contrast! The Father's chastenings flow from love, and He sends them so that we may "share his holiness" (Heb. 12:10). The "wrath" or "anger" that rests on unbelievers is another matter: from that we are delivered once and for all, when the eye rests in faith on Christ and on His precious blood.
Correction and love sound like opposites. Watch how a father treats his own son:
Julius A Von PoseckDoes a whipping look like a welcome? Does correction look like love? In any other relationship, certainly not. But this is exactly what marks a father's love for his son. True, the Father's kisses of welcome came first; then the best clothes, then the ring and the sandals; then the fattened calf, and the music and dancing; and afterwards — the rod. The rod does not taste like the kiss, but the same love that gave the kiss wields the rod.
Hebrews 12 quotes these words and applies them to Christians now. It also shows where the pain is heading:
William KellyThe letter to the Hebrews (Heb. 12:5-6) takes up this ancient order and applies it to the Christian now. It points to the love that acts without fail when we fail, as we too often do. The purpose the Father of spirits has toward us is no less blessed, for it yields peaceable fruit in those trained by it, though at the time it seems painful rather than joyful. So there is no ground in it for discouragement.
Readers who compare the two passages find the wording differs, and one writer explains why in a brief note: in Proverbs it reads "even as a father the son in whom he delights," while "the quotation in Hebrews is from the Septuagint" — the older Greek translation of the Old Testament.
- Loved — The correction begins in love, not displeasure; it is "the distinct proof of His love."
- Delighted in — The one under the rod is the son the Father delights in. The same love that gave the welcome home later lifts the rod.
- Addressed — "My son" names the reader. These words are for people already in a known relationship with God, not for those outside it.
- Guarded — Discipline may be preventive as well as corrective; it can keep from evil, not only answer it.
- Steadied — So neither despise it nor sink under it: there is a cause in me, and there is never anything but love in God.