My son, forget not my teaching, and let thy heart observe my commandments;
Proverbs 3 opens with a father speaking to a son. The call is not to try harder but to remember — and to let that remembering reach the heart. Two questions sit behind these simple words: whose teaching is this, and why must obedience start inside?
Chapter 3 opens by naming what comes first in a life of wisdom.
Subjection and obedience are the first marks of the path of wisdom. And this guidance happens inside a known relationship. "My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments," chapter 3:1.
Two things can look like wisdom and are not.
Proverbs 3 shows that it is not human shrewdness or man's prudence that gives the wisdom spoken of here. Nor is it the eager desire for prosperity and happiness that shows itself in crooked ways. Instead, the fear of Jehovah and subjection to His word are the one guide that leads us safely through a world of wickedness that He governs.
The voice is a parent's. Yet "my teaching" and "my commandments" carry an authority no parent owns by himself. Kelly traces where that weight comes from.
They might come through a parent. No doubt that was the proper order in Israel. It was marked out from their father Abraham. Jehovah showed His pleasure in Abraham for commanding his children and his household to keep the way of Jehovah, doing justice and judgment. But what gave it divine value was that it was His teaching, and that the commandments laid down were His. This alone sanctifies: obeying God, obeying His Word. Obedience is the effect and proof of love, when anyone is in relationship with God. And we do not forget, but remember, what we love and value.
That last line explains the whole command. We do not forget what we love, so forgetting is a failure of valuing.
The verse does not say "let your hands keep." It says the heart. One commentator reads this as an appeal to something already at work inside a believer.
How vital is the need for simple, faithful obedience to the Word of God! So the path of consistency begins with this instruction: do not forget God's laws, but let the heart keep His commands. The heart of a believer leans toward obeying God, so it is only right to let the heart follow that bent.
The Lord tied this obedience to love, and added a promise.
So the Lord puts it in His matchless way to His disciples. "Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him." John 14:21.
"Do not forget" fits one moment in life. A young person leaves the shelter of home and finds out what is inside him.
This is when the young man, once led as a child, goes out and his own principles are tested. What governs him inside comes to light. He still obeys what he has learned, and so far he is in subjection. But now it is his own moral character. He must trust God within, and not lean on the shelter of a parental home and its authority. How often we see people fall away at this point! Fair hopes and the lovely blossoming of a receptive youth turn to bitter fruit.
The words "my son" find their fullest answer in one life. Luke 2 tells of Jesus as a boy in Nazareth.
What a blessed picture Luke 2 sets before us of the Lord! He was obedient in the early days of His life on earth, subject to Joseph and Mary in Nazareth. Yet He knew a higher relationship, and so He was taken up with His Father's things. And the fruits were blessed. Even then, truly, as He said later, He kept His Father's commandments and remained in His love.
- Remember — forgetting is a heart problem, not a memory problem; we remember what we love and value.
- Receive — the words may reach you through a parent, but their divine value is that they are God's own.
- Obey — the verse puts obedience in the heart, where a believer's leaning toward God already lies.
- Love — Christ tied keeping His commandments to loving Him, and the Father loves whoever loves Him.
- Follow — the Lord at Nazareth is the perfect example: subject and obedient, keeping His Father's commandments and remaining in His love.
for length of days, and years of life, and peace shall they add to thee.
Verse 2 gives the reason for the appeal just before it: keep the teaching, and three things are added — length of days, years of life, and peace. But what kind of life is promised, who was it first spoken to, and does the promise still reach us?
The verse begins with "for." It gives a motive. One writer takes verses 1 and 2 together and shows where obedience starts:
How vital is the need for simple, faithful obedience to the Word of God! So the path of consistency begins with the instruction not to forget God's laws, but rather to simply let the heart keep His commands. The heart of the believer is disposed to obey God, so it is only right to let the heart follow this proper bent. Normally, such obedience will result in a long and peaceful life (v. 2).
The words come from a father to a son. What makes them binding is not the family relationship but their source:
They might come through a parent, and that was no doubt the right order in Israel. That order goes back to their father Abraham. The LORD was pleased to express His delight when Abraham commanded his children and his household to keep the way of the LORD and to do justice and judgment. But what gave divine value was that it was His teaching, and that the commandments enjoined were His. This alone sanctifies — obeying God, obeying His Word, the effect and proof of love, when any are in relationship with God. Nor do we forget but remember what we love and value.
So forgetting is a failure of love before it is a failure of memory.
The promise is not arbitrary. Sin shortens and spoils life by its own working, and God stands behind the arrangement:
We have here first the call to obedience; a law given in which is life. Naturally there can be no real question about this. Men's vices are physically their destruction, and rob human life of everything that makes it worth the name: "…fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones" (Prov. 3:7, 8). It must be so, if God is over all, and "the eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous."
Notice the terms of the promise, and who first received it:
Verses 1-10. The call to obedience is followed by promise. The promise is like all the promises to an earthly people, "for length of days and years of life."
That does not put the verse out of reach. God still governs, and He still marks out a path:
It is true that God is not mocked. What a man sows he will reap. God has attached certain consequences to certain conduct in His government. But He also watches over and directly governs His children… Then there is a path marked out by God as the path of peace in a world like this. It is not in itself simply the path of spiritual power. It is a path of quietness and peace in this world, walking peacefully through it under God's eye. And that is very precious for us.
One Person kept these commandments from the heart. Here is what that looked like:
Even a Jew was not left without blessing. He was called not to forget what he had been taught. His heart was to keep commandments which were the LORD's, even though they came through Moses or anyone else who passed them on. What a wonderful picture Luke 2 gives us of the Lord, obedient in this way in the early days of His life on earth! He was subject to Joseph and Mary in Nazareth, yet aware of a higher relationship and so taken up with His Father's things. And the fruits were blessed. Even then, truly, as He said later, He kept His Father's commandments and remained in His love. So here it is written for obedient Israelites, "length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you."
He received the promise Himself, and He will hold it in the coming kingdom:
The blessed Lord Jesus claimed no exemption from the duties of a son that belong to all mankind. Though He was the Eternal Son, He learned obedience in this relationship as in others. So He was granted length of days and years of life — yes, "the power of an endless life" — throughout the many glories of His millennial kingdom.
- Keep — the command is not just to hear but to let the heart keep. What we love, we do not forget.
- Whose — a parent may pass the words on. Their authority is that they are God's, and that alone sanctifies.
- Why — vice destroys life by its own working. Under a God who governs, obedience lengthens life and steadies it.
- Whom — God first gave the promise in earthly terms to an earthly people. His government still marks out a path of quietness and peace today.
- Christ — He kept the commandments perfectly at Nazareth, and He receives length of days in full.
Let not loving-kindness and truth forsake thee; bind them about thy neck, write them upon the tablet of thy heart
A father tells his son to keep two qualities close — bound where people can see, written where they cannot. Older translations call them "mercy and truth" or "loving-kindness and truth"; the ESV calls them "steadfast love and faithfulness". What are they, and why are they always named together?
These two words are not just an ideal to admire. One writer matches them with words used of Christ, and finds His own life traced here.
There is another point of great interest here. The language used here matches perfectly what history records of the Lord. "Let not grace and truth forsake you," is said to the young men. Now "grace and truth came by Jesus Christ." He was that, its perfection, which the young man was to seek to keep. It is added, "You shall find favour and acceptance with God and man." "So Christ increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." And He was subject to Joseph and His mother. It is deeply interesting to find in Christ what wisdom is here sketching out as the divine path of man on the earth.
The command is negative: do not let these go. One writer hears in it a call to trust mercy and truth, and to keep trusting them always.
As we know that "grace and truth came by Jesus Christ," the Israelite was urged to cherish confidence in mercy, or loving-kindness, and truth. Let them "not forsake you," is the word. He was entitled to believe and count on them habitually and for ever. "Bind them about your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart." What ornament can compare with them? What inward lesson is so cheering and strengthening!
The two images do more than decorate. Each names a place where a person goes wrong: a stiff neck, and a hard heart.
Mercy and truth (v. 3) are especially important in our relationships with others. If they are bound "about your neck," they will keep us from being "stiff-necked" or self-opinionated. Written on the tablets of our heart, they will keep us from hard-heartedness. These matter mainly in our dealings with others. Yet they also gain favour and high esteem in God's sight as well as in men's. God wants believers to represent Him rightly before the world (v. 4).
The two must stay together. One writer makes their blending the test of whether anything will thrive.
Where mercy is not blended with truth, there can be no prosperity. Mercy and truth are met together in Christ. The word is, "Let not mercy and truth forsake you, for so you shall find favour and good understanding (or success) in the sight of God and man." Through our Lord Jesus Christ "grace and truth subsist" now. When we receive of His fullness, it is not truth upon truth, but "grace upon grace." That is the secret of our spiritual success today.
The son must write these things on his heart. Believers now have help with that writing. And the promised favour, from God and from people, was seen in full in Christ.
So we see in our perfect pattern. Our Lord certainly found "favour" with God and man in His unequalled path of subjection, as we are told... It was a good and welcome mark of divine approval through devotedness to God's will, without either self-seeking or people-pleasing. Happy, when as here, the answer comes from people around as well as from above, to grace and truth written on the heart! Now too one word, Christ, expresses it all. And the Spirit of the living God is given to us who believe, so that He may be written truly and deeply on those tablets of flesh, our hearts.
The instruction has authority because of its source, not because of the one delivering it. In Israel it usually came through a parent, but its value lay elsewhere.
What gave it divine value was that it was His teaching, and that the commandments enjoined were His. This alone sanctifies — obeying God, obeying His Word, the effect and proof of love, when any are in relationship with God. Nor do we forget, but remember, what we love and value.
- Person — Mercy and truth are grace and truth. They came in a Person: the path set out for the son was walked perfectly by Christ.
- Hold — The word is negative: do not let them go. They are yours to count on, not just to achieve.
- Wear — Bound around the neck, they keep a neck from stiffening. No ornament compares with them.
- Write — Written on the heart, they cure hard-heartedness. The Spirit now writes Christ deeply on those tablets of flesh.
- Favour — Keep them together, and verse 4 answers twice: favour from God above, esteem from people around.
and thou shalt find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
This promise rests on a condition set just before it: keep mercy and truth close, bound on the neck and written on the heart. The result is double — approval from God, and standing among people. How can one life win both at once?
The favour of verse 4 is not where the chapter starts. It follows a call to obedience, inside a relationship the son already has with God.
We may first remark that subjection and obedience are the first marks of the path of wisdom. He receives this guidance inside a relationship he already knows. "My son, forget not my law; and let your heart keep my commandments," chapter 3:1.
Kelly ties this obedience to love, and to the source of the commands.
But what gave divine value was that it was His teaching, and that the commandments enjoined were His. This alone sanctifies — obeying God, obeying His Word, the effect and proof of love, when any are in relationship with God. Nor do we forget but remember what we love and value.
Verse 3 gives two pictures: mercy and truth tied around the neck, and written on the heart. One writer reads each picture as a guard against a different failure.
Mercy and truth (v. 3) are especially important in our relationships with others. Bound "about your neck," they will keep us from being "stiff-necked" or self-opinionated. Written on the tablets of our heart, they will keep us from hard-heartedness. These things matter mainly in our relationships with others. Yet they also gain favour and high esteem in God's sight as well as in men's sight, for God wants believers to represent Him well before the world (v. 4).
Mercy and truth are not only qualities to practise. They are also things to trust.
But this is far from all. We know that "grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." So the Israelite was urged to hold on to confidence in mercy, or loving-kindness, and truth. "Let them not forsake you" is the word. He was entitled to believe them and count on them habitually and for ever. "Bind them about your neck, write them upon the tablet of your heart." What ornament can compare with them? What inward lesson is so cheering and strengthening!
The ESV reads "good success" here. Older translations render the same word "good understanding." Kelly is not sure of its exact shade. He is clear about what the promise marks: God's approval, echoed back by people.
The word often translated "good understanding" may carry a modified sense here, as it sometimes does elsewhere. But as it stands, it was a good and welcome mark of divine approval through devotedness to God's will, without either self-seeking or men-pleasing. Happy, when as here, the answer comes from people as well as from God on high, to grace and truth written on the heart!
Darby finds the same wording matched in the Gospel account of Jesus' early years.
But there is another point of great interest here, before we come to details. The language here matches perfectly what history tells us of the Lord. "Let not grace and truth forsake you," it says to the young men. Now "grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." He was that, its perfection, which the young man was to seek to keep. It adds, "You shall find favour and acceptance (esteem) with God and man." "So Christ increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." And He was subject to Joseph and His mother. It is deeply interesting to find in Christ what wisdom is sketching out as the divine path of man on the earth.
Paul seems to draw on this verse when handling money given by the churches. He took steps so that no one could accuse him.
The moral reason for the caution follows: "guarding against this, that no one should blame us in this abundance that we are administering, for we provide things honourable not only before the Lord but before men" (vv. 20, 21). This is not a lack of faith. It is faith working by love, cutting off any occasion from men and walking with a pure conscience before God. The allusion is to Proverbs 3:4 in the Greek Old Testament.
- Rooted — the promise grows out of obedience inside a relationship God has already given. The commands carry weight because they are His.
- Worn — tie mercy and truth on like an ornament, and write them on the heart. One guards against a stiff neck, the other against a hard heart.
- Reflected — the favour is God's approval, and people notice it too. It comes without self-seeking and without pleasing men.
- Perfected — Christ fills out the pattern. Grace and truth came through Him, and He grew in favour with God and man while subject at home.
- Practised — Paul applies it to handling money. He provides what is honourable before the Lord and before men, so no accusation can stick.