Where no wood is, the fire goeth out; and where there is no talebearer, the contention ceaseth.
A fire lives only as long as something feeds it. This proverb applies that plain fact to human conflict: quarrels die when the fuel runs out. The picture forces a question on anyone caught in a dispute — who, or what, is the wood?
The proverb does not blame the flame. It points to the person who keeps handing over the wood. One commentator shows how hidden that work is.
But there is a very sly form of evil, and perhaps a more harmful one still, where the damage is done in secret, by influencing others for evil. What is worse than the whisperer, or talebearer, whom this proverb compares to the wood that feeds the fire?
Elsewhere in Proverbs, one writer defines the figure.
He is the one who speaks to others behind a person's back about that person's failures, or imagined failures, and so seeks to undermine confidence.
Why does a whisperer do more harm than an open troublemaker? Because the work does not look like evil at all.
The next three verses speak of the talebearer. Here evil takes a further step. The talebearer does more real damage than the joker, because he gives his evil work the appearance of zeal for righteousness. "For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases." Discord among the people of God stops as soon as no one adds fuel to the fire. "It is an honour for a man to cease from strife." But to spread the details of trouble or wrongdoing — or imagined wrongdoing — is grievous guilt. It multiplies the fury of the flames.
What does this fire actually burn? One writer weighs the harm the tongue has done among Christians.
What mischief the rash, foolish and wicked use of the tongue has caused among Christian people! When we read that the tongue "defiles the whole body," the context shows that James meant the human body. Yet it would be just as true of the church, which is the body of Christ, and of which we are all members. The tongue has brought more defilement into the church of God than anything else.
What should you do when the report reaches you? One writer gives a plain rule for the listener, and points to what love does instead.
But what if another believer comes to us with an evil report about a brother or sister? Ask that person to stop speaking this way. How much evil speaking would die in its tracks if we did this. Of course, the person may want to unburden himself or herself. But we should allow that only if we are truly ready and willing to help them resolve the difficulty with the brother or sister in question. Remember: even where real sins have been committed, there is no blessing in sharing the details with others when there is no need. Keep the circle of information as small as possible — to those who can deal with it righteously. Our Lord's instructions in Matthew 18:15-17 make this very clear. Peter writes, "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8; see also Proverbs 11:13 and 20:19).
Silence alone is not the whole answer. Where a real grievance exists, there is a direction to take it — toward the person, not around him.
How guarded must be the doors of our lips! Disagreement, discord and ill-feeling have come between neighbours. Will spreading it elsewhere settle it? Let us have grace and honest courage of heart to face our neighbour with meekness and true concern, so that we reach a proper understanding. How painful are the countless offences that selfish, thoughtless gossip has never settled but only made worse, when a word of simple apology might have ended them forever!
- Fuel. Strife does not burn on its own. The whisperer is the wood that keeps it going, and he works in secret.
- Disguise. The fuel looks respectable. The talebearer gives his work "the appearance of zeal for righteousness," so he does more damage than an open troublemaker.
- Fire. The blaze is costly. The tongue has brought more defilement into the church of God than anything else.
- Starve it. Discord stops when no one adds fuel. Refuse to carry the report, ask the speaker to stop, and keep the circle of information small.
- Face it. Take a real grievance to the person, with meekness and honest courage. A word of apology can end what gossip only inflames.
[As] coals for hot coals, and wood for fire, so is a contentious man to inflame strife.
Proverbs sets this saying beside its twin in the previous verse: one man removes the fuel and the fire dies, another keeps piling it on. The quarrelsome man need not start the fire. He makes any quarrel he touches burn hotter.
Coals do nothing on their own; they matter because the embers are already hot. One writer knows that pain firsthand.
On the other hand, coals to hot embers, and wood to fire, is a contentious man to inflame strife. How often have we known it to our pain! Happy is the one who hates it enough to avoid its beginning by living in love.
The verse just before this one sets the test: are you supplying the fuel or withholding it?
The talebearer will do more real damage than the trifler, simply because he gives his evil work the appearance of zeal for righteousness. "For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases." Discord between the people of God can certainly be stopped simply by adding no fuel to the fire. "It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife." But to spread abroad by talebearing the details of trouble or wrongdoing (or imagined wrongdoing) is grievous guilt, and multiplies the fury of the flames.
The quarrelsome man of verse 21 and the whisperer of verse 20 are not two problems. They are one. The test is what you do once the damage starts.
The talebearer and the contentious man are the same here. Their spirit is identical — the opposite of the peacemaker. If the fire is doing damage, they are all ready to add further coals or wood. "If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God" (1 Cor. 11:16). If I dare to speak of another's wrongs, it ought always to be out of a genuine desire to see him restored. And only when there is real need.
Fire and water behave alike: easy to stop at the start, impossible later.
And who has not seen what a blaze a little spark may become, if godliness and grace do not rule? It is like letting out water when someone starts a quarrel. At first only drops trickle. Then the opening widens into a flow that sweeps everything before it. "Therefore quit before the quarrel breaks out."
The coals and wood are usually words. One writer counts what the tongue has cost God's people.
What mischief has been caused among Christian people by the rash and foolish and wicked use of the tongue. When we read, "The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body," the context shows that James was speaking of the human body. Yet it would be just as true if we read it of the church, which is the body of Christ and of which we are all members. More defilement has been brought into the church of God by it than by anything else.
Strife costs the people inside it, and few of them think they are the contentious man.
Contentions put a stop to the growth of grace. The soul can no more prosper when it is on a flame with strife and contention than the body can thrive in a fever. We are prone to mistake our heat for zeal. But in strife between believers it is usually a fire-ship sent in by Satan to break their unity and order. While they stand in that unity they are an invincible fleet, and Satan knows he has no other way but this to shatter them.
Refusing to add fuel is only half of it. Someone still has to put the fire out.
A little good sense, a little patience and waiting on God may go far. They can silence the strife of tongues, calm an angry temper, remove opposition, and win hearts for Christ. No other Christian grace shows God in His children as clearly as this peace-making spirit. "They shall be called sons of God."
- Fuel. The contentious man does not invent the fire; he feeds it. Coals go to embers already glowing, wood to a flame already burning.
- Spark. Small beginnings decide everything. Strife starts as trickling drops and ends as a flood, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.
- Blaze. The fuel is usually words. The tongue has brought more defilement into the church of God than anything else.
- Starve it. Add no fuel and the fire dies. Refuse to carry the story, and discord among God's people stops.
- Peace. The opposite of the contentious man is not the quiet man but the peacemaker. Patience and waiting on God can silence the strife of tongues.
The words of a talebearer are as dainty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.
This verse pictures words as food: easy to swallow, impossible to bring back up. So who does more harm — the person who tells the tale, or the person who enjoys eating it?
The saying works on the body: something goes down and stays down. An older translation calls the whisperer's words wounds rather than morsels. One writer follows the Hebrew behind that word.
This describes exactly how the soul normally reacts to the words of talebearers. They are deep, internal wounds. The Hebrew word means "to burn in." Such things sink in so deep that we may never forget them, while we soon put other kinds of wrong out of our minds. Talebearing can easily lead to a permanent break between God's people.
Nobody forces these words in. They go down — into the soul. Something in the hearer opens the door and welcomes them.
The flesh is still in believers, and it makes the whisperer's hints far too easy and welcome. We take them in instead of refusing them. Then they go down and take possession of our souls, right to the innermost part. It is a serious danger when the guard falls asleep at wisdom's gate. Our own simplicity leaves us open to cruel deception.
People defend gossip by saying the story is true. The same writer rejects that defence and tests such words by their aim.
Even if such words were strictly true, which they seldom are, they do harm in every way, and they come under the condemnation of evil speaking. They have no good purpose and no loving manner. At best it is gossip. Mostly it is simply the pleasure of talking about things that right feeling would rather cover up. The result is wounds that cut very deep, in the places where they are least likely to heal.
Another writer adds what talebearing does to the facts:
Anyone given to talebearing is almost certain to exaggerate, because he wants to put his victim in the worst light possible. This is bad work.
Earlier in the chapter, the whisperer appears as fuel for a fire.
The next three verses speak of the tale-bearer. Here evil takes another step forward. The talebearer does more real damage than the joker, because he makes his evil work look like zeal for righteousness. "For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases." You can stop discord among the people of God simply by adding no fuel to the fire.
If words only do harm once someone swallows them, the hearer holds the power to stop them. One writer asks whether we take receiving a report as seriously as spreading one.
What great harm false reports have done among Christians! We all admit that it is wrong to start them. Do we all see the wrong of receiving them? An argument breaks out among Christians, and someone brings a bad report about the other side. How tempting it is to accept it at once as certainly true, when after all it is false. We should examine any evil report with care and check it before we accept it.
The practical method is blunt, and it costs nothing but silence.
You can be sure of it: a deaf ear is a very valuable thing to have. Say a person comes to you and starts a long, rambling account of So-and-so's bad ways. Turn your deaf side to him at once. Stay as quiet as you can while the abuse goes on. Make him feel he is getting as much encouragement from you as he would from a gatepost.
The cure is not total silence. It is a change of direction: speak to the person, not about him.
Someone has truly said, "The backbiter injures three people: himself, his hearer, and the person he is talking about." If I have any fault to find with someone, he ought to be the very first to hear of it… We need to be more faithful in how we speak to people, and more gracious in how we speak of them. If we see anything wrong in a person, let us go straight to him and speak plainly. And if we have nothing good to say of him, let us kindly draw a curtain of silence around him.
- Morsel — the words go down easily. Something in us welcomes the whisperer's hints and lets them take over the soul.
- Wound — the treat we swallowed becomes a deep, inner injury. We may never forget it, and it can split God's people for good.
- Fire — the tale-bearer is firewood. Remove him and the strife dies out, however much his work looks like zeal for righteousness.
- Ear — receiving an evil report is as wrong as starting one. Check it before you accept it, or turn your deaf side to the talker.
- Face — backbiting injures three people at once. So take the fault to the person first, and draw a curtain of silence over the rest.