Or what man is there of you who, if his son shall ask of him a loaf of bread, will give him a stone;
This verse sits in the middle of Jesus' teaching on prayer, and here He stops arguing and paints a picture of an ordinary father. The question He raises is simple: is God's heart at least as good as the heart of a human father?
He describes a household anyone has seen, and a particular kind of asking inside it.
The Lord Jesus uses an illustration which everybody can understand. He speaks of the normal relation between a son and his father which is marked by love and confidence. The son is in trouble and asks his father for bread or a fish, that is, the things he needs for daily life. He does not demand, as the son in Luke 15:12 did. Nor does he ask wrongly, to satisfy his own selfish desires (which James 4:3 warns us about). No, he asks his father with trust and without doubting, for what he really needs.
Two Greek words in the New Testament both become "ask" in English. The one used here has its own tone.
Both aiteo and erotao are translated "to ask," and in many places that is right. But some passages lose much of their force, because the translation does not keep a very real difference between the two words. Aiteo is the word for pleading, as when someone lower asks someone higher — a beggar asking for money, Acts 3:2; a child asking his parents (Matt. 7:9), and the disciples asking God the Father (1 John 3:22; James 1:5-6).
The two items Jesus names in verses 9 and 10 fail the child in different ways, and the second is worse than the first.
If a child asks for bread, will his father give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will his father give him a serpent? No father is likely to be so callous as this. The stone is useless, but the serpent is dangerous. On the other hand, if a child asked for a serpent, what father would give it to him? Why would we ever think of asking for what is useless or harmful?
One writer names what such a gift would really be. It would not just be a poor gift. It would mock a hungry child.
Who would not reject such mockery of a son's hunger?
This verse is one half of an argument. The other half, in verse 11, moves up from what any father would do to what God will do.
A response from our Father is certain. If we ask for necessary things we shall get them, for He will not give us instead something worthless like a stone, or harmful like a serpent. We may rest assured that He will give us "good things," for His Fatherhood is of heaven. His standard therefore will not fall below that of earthly fatherhood. We may apply Isaiah 55:9 to this, and say that as the heavens are higher than the earth so are His Fatherly thoughts higher than our thoughts.
The comparison also exposes something about us. Jesus calls the fathers in His picture evil, and that is what gives the argument its weight.
If we call God Father, do we expect to find Him less than such a title implies, even among men? Is not this, in fact, however real, only a feeble suggestion of what God is as Father? It would have to be, even if people had never fallen into sin. But "if you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more" — there, indeed, is a calculation for faith to make.
One writer traces both the giving and the refusing back to the same love.
The Father's love goes out to His sons in every request that is for their good. He holds back only the things they foolishly asked for that would harm them.
Another writer applies this to prayers that seem to get no reply.
He will not give that which is useless or harmful in answer to requests for necessary food. Nor, we may add, will He give what is useless or harmful if we foolishly desire it and ask for it. Many an unanswered prayer is, no doubt, accounted for by this.
- Ask. The word here is the one used of a beggar, and of a child before a parent. It is not a demand. It is a plea made from need to someone able to meet it.
- Bread. The son in the picture asks for what he needs for daily life, not for what would feed his own desires.
- Stone. A stone is useless when the child needs bread. A serpent instead of a fish is worse, because it is dangerous. No decent father gives either.
- How much more. Jesus argues upward. Fathers He calls evil still give good gifts, so the Father in heaven will not fall below them. That is a calculation for faith to make.
- No. A good Father will not hand over what is useless or harmful. So some unanswered prayers are answers. He holds back only what we foolishly asked for that would hurt us.
and if he ask a fish, will give him a serpent?
Jesus pictures a hungry son asking for a fish, and a father handing him a snake instead. The absurdity is the point. The verse is not about fish. It asks what God is like as a Father, and why some prayers go unanswered.
Jesus is speaking to people who already know God as Father. No decent father plays a cruel joke on a hungry child, and He builds His argument on that instinct.
Here the Lord is not speaking to a sinner who needs life and the forgiveness of his sins. He is speaking to believers, who are told to appeal to God and are assured of their Father's answer of love, whatever their needs may be… The Lord also encourages His disciples through the affection planted in a parent's heart. If their Father makes His sun rise on evil and good, and sends rain on just and unjust, how does He feel toward His sons? His love surely goes out to them in every request that is for their good. He withholds only the foolish requests that would harm them. So He says, "Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?" Who would not reject such mockery of a son's hunger?
The two images are not saying the same thing. The picture can also be turned around: what if the child asked for the snake himself?
The stone is useless, but the serpent is dangerous. On the other hand, if a child asked for a serpent, what father would give it to him? Why would we ever think of asking for what is useless or harmful?
Everything turns on the way the son comes.
The Lord Jesus uses an illustration everyone can understand. He speaks of the normal relationship between a son and his father, marked by love and confidence. The son is in trouble and asks his father for bread or a fish — things needed for daily living. He does not demand, as the son in Luke 15:12 did. Nor does he ask wrongly, to satisfy his own desires (which James 4:3 warns us about). No, he asks his father trustingly and without doubting, for what he really needs. The Lord teaches in such a way that the father's answer to the son's request is "yes." He will not disappoint his son's confidence by giving him a stone instead of bread. He will not put him in danger by giving a serpent instead of a fish.
Love alone is not enough. A father who loves his child but lacks judgment could still hand over the snake.
God does not limit Himself to our requests. He gives what He sees we need. He gives according to His wisdom, and according to the love of His heart… There is affection enough in the heart of man to make him respond to the cry of need from the lips of a child. But affection is not enough. Wisdom is also needed, so that he may give a good gift. Parents do not always give everything their children ask for. They are not inattentive to their requests, but they consider what will be suitable and good to give.
Turn the verse around. If God will not swap a serpent for a fish, He will not hand one over just because we asked for it by name.
The Father in heaven is not to be thought of as less interested and considerate than an earthly father. He will not give what is useless or harmful in answer to requests for necessary food. Nor, we may add, will He give what is useless or harmful if we foolishly desire it and ask for it. Many an unanswered prayer is, no doubt, explained by this.
The gap between what a child needs and what he wants explains much of this.
If God is our Father, we are blessed indeed. He has infinite wisdom, love and power. He knows what we need. What we want is another matter. A child in a family gets its needs supplied, but if the little boy of three wants his father's sharp razor to play with, he is refused. God is as loving in His refusals as in His answers.
- Ask — the son comes in trust, for what he truly needs. He does not demand, and he does not ask to please himself.
- Father — the argument rests on relationship. God is not less caring than a human father.
- Never a serpent — a stone is useless, a serpent harms. He gives neither, even when we ask for one.
- Wisdom with love — love alone can still give the wrong gift. God answers by His wisdom, not by the wording of our prayer.
- Refusal as love — this explains many unanswered prayers. He is as loving when He withholds as when He gives.