John 13:36–14:1

His final destination was the Father's house on high, as the next chapter shows. But He was going there by way of death. This was not death as a believer knows it, which is after all only sleep. This was death as the judgement of God against sin. In Joshua's day the sacred ark went down first into the Jordan River. In the same way, He whom the ark only faintly pictured had to go down first into death. He had to rob death of its sting by making atonement for sin and guilt. Only then could Peter, or anyone else, follow in His steps.

The Lord was going to suffer death as the Martyr at the hands of wicked men. But something far more terrible to His holy soul lay ahead. He was going into death as the holy Victim under the hand of God. This, indeed, was a path that He alone could take; Peter could not follow in that path. Afterwards, in the years to come, Peter will have the high honour to follow the Lord in the path of martyrdom.

He could not follow Him now. At that point Peter had no power for it, and the way itself was not yet made. That way meant meeting the holiness of God in death, going into death in the power of life, and passing through death into God's presence. It was a lonely way, inside the veil. But he would indeed follow Him with power from a risen Lord.

A separation must take place. He was going to glory. They would still be on earth. That separation, however, would only be temporary. Then they would be where He was going. The Lord had told the Jews who did not believe that He and they would be separated. But He gave them no hope that it would last only for a season. For the disciples, it would be only temporary.

So far Peter understood nothing of the service Christ was setting before him. He could not enter into what his own part would then have been. Two things were missing, and He named them in two sayings. First: "What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand" (v. 7). Second: "Where I am going you cannot follow Me now, but you will follow afterward" (v. 36). These two things were knowledge and power.

"You cannot follow Me now, but you will follow afterward." Blessed Master! He would not let His poor weak servant enter that terrible path until He Himself had gone first. He changed the whole character of that path, so that the road of death would be lit up with the beams of life and immortality. Our Jesus has "abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel."

It was then that Jesus said, "Follow me." He answers what Peter had said before, "Why can I not follow you now?" (John 13:37.) From then on he would be able to follow Him.

How gracious! How gracious to tell him of his inability before His death! And how gracious to tell him of that following which was certain to come, brought about by the gracious power of God and made real to his soul… It was not that he was insincere. I doubt whether there ever was a sincerer soul than Simon Peter. Our folly does not lie in insincerity. It lies in the very opposite: we trust self in some form or another.

Peter would not be separated from his Lord even for a moment. A "why?" follows the question "where?" How beautiful the desire: "I will lay down my life for You." He did not know how weak his "I will" was. Yet the Lord valued Peter's love, and in love to Peter He would make him know his weakness.

In these few words Peter lets out the real root of the whole matter. That root was self-confidence — and it is no rare root among us. We do not question Peter's sincerity. We are sure he meant all he said. We are just as sure he had no idea what he was about to do. He was ignorant of himself, and we generally find that ignorance and self-confidence go together. Self-knowledge destroys self-confidence. The better you know yourself, the less you should trust yourself.

We hear of another in this Gospel who spoke of giving up his life. Simon Peter was impulsive by nature and full of zeal for his beloved Master. On the very night of His betrayal he cried out, "I will lay down my life for you" (John 13:37). Peter did not then understand that the very reverse would be the case, according to John 10:11-15. Neither did he believe what the Lord immediately told him about the instability of his own heart.

The Lord was going to suffer death as the Martyr at the hands of wicked men. But far more terrible to His holy soul, He was going into death as the holy Victim under the hand of God. This indeed was a path that He alone could take. Peter could not follow in that path. Afterwards, in the years to come, Peter will have the high honour of following the Lord in the path of martyrdom.

We follow our Leader in this — but not in atonement, which is His work alone. The Lord makes that distinction in His words to Peter. When atonement was in view, Peter could not follow. When atonement is made, Peter can follow: "You will follow afterward."

Here Peter's strong will had proved to be weakness before the power of the enemy. So he received the immense blessing of suffering, and even of dying, for the Lord. That was to happen when his own will was no longer the question. He would be submitting to the power of others, and there his faithfulness would stand out clearly. Someone else would bind him and carry him where he did not want to go. He would die for the Lord after all. It is then, when there is no more will of our own, no more strength, that we can follow the Lord.

He meant it as much as some of us have meant it when we have vowed on our knees to stand for Christ and serve Him with our whole hearts. But he had to weep out his disappointment and sorrow over broken vows and wretched failure. We have had to do the same, and we will keep doing it as long as our great thought is what we can be for Christ instead of what He can be for us. Peter was on the wrong track… You have to learn that it is not Peter for Christ but Christ for Peter.

Now Simon Peter wants to enter what no one but Jesus could enter — God's presence by the path of death. This is fleshly confidence. The Lord tells him, in grace, that it could not be so now. He must dry up that sea that is bottomless to man — death — that overflowing Jordan. Then, when death was no longer the judgment of God, and no longer wielded by the power of Satan, His poor disciple might pass through it for the sake of righteousness and of Christ. But Peter would follow Him in his own strength, claiming to be able to do exactly what Jesus was about to do for him.

It was not that he was insincere. I doubt whether there was ever a more sincere soul than Simon Peter. And our folly does not lie in our insincerity — quite the opposite. It lies in this: we trust self in some shape or another.

So the Lord presses the truth of His own words on him, with decisive insistence, and Peter's bold words collapse in shame. Three times, He tells him, he would deny his Lord before the rooster crowed. How strongly this shows that the flesh cannot be trusted, even in the most zealous and devoted of disciples! And how perfectly the word of the Lord can be trusted!

How beautiful the desire: "I will lay down my life for you." He did not know the weakness of his "I will." Yet the Lord valued Peter's love, and in love to Peter would make him know his weakness. The Lord's love would make Peter's failure known to him beforehand, so that he might have increased confidence in his Lord.

And notice, Simon Peter heard it from His own lips before he went astray. If he had not, we have no right to say he would have been restored as he was. We know he was restored, but God uses means, and one of the great means of restoring power for our souls is the love we knew before we went astray. Nothing brings the heart back to the Lord, or fills it with horror at itself, like this: the Lord told us so fully and so plainly before we went astray.

"Truly, truly," said the all-patient Master, "a rooster will certainly not crow until you have denied Me three times." We recall Peter's repeated denial of his Lord, and with oaths too, under the most solemn circumstances. We recall it not to lower him, but for the profit of our own souls, and to exalt Him who alone is worthy. How infinite the grace that made the measure of his sin the signal and the means of his repentance!

He brings out the most complete sentence on Peter, and puts the flesh entirely aside: "Will you lay down your life for me?" No wonder — He was offering Himself; He was about to suffer. "Truly, truly, I say to you, the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times." Then straight away He goes on, "Let not your heart be troubled." What He had in His heart at that moment, concerning Peter and John and the rest, could not be held back. The rude interruption of a man saying, "I will lay down my life for you," could not stop it. The man did not know what he was doing; the Lord understood it all.