Have I sinned, what do I unto thee, thou Observer of men? Why hast thou set me as an object of assault for thee, so that I am become a burden to myself?
Disease has worn Job down, and his friends have turned into accusers. He stops arguing with them and speaks straight to God about his sin. He admits it, complains, and asks a question he cannot answer. If he has sinned, why does God aim at him instead of pardoning him?
Commentators read the title Job gives God in two ways. They take it as watcher, not preserver. One writer explains that choice, and what Job knew about being seen.
In verse 20, Job goes even further. He realized God would not let him alone and he confesses to sin. The New Translation renders the opening of that verse, "Have I sinned, what do I to You, You Observer of men?" We understand that "Observer," and not "Preserver," is the correct translation. He knew he was under God's eye, who could perceive error where he was hardly aware of it. And why did God not grant pardon and remove the weight of his load?
The same watching that Job resents is a comfort elsewhere in Scripture. One commentator, writing about God as the preserver of men, points back to this verse.
The apostle is speaking of the living God Himself — of God in His character as preserver of men, just as Job speaks here (Job 7:20). We are looking at God's care and rule over the world, where nothing escapes His notice. So He makes His sun rise on evil and good, and sends rain on just and unjust. How much more valued are His own than many sparrows, even the hairs of their heads being all numbered!
Job does mention his sin, but only in passing. One commentator weighs what that admission is worth.
At last Job will speak of his sin, though most briefly. "I have sinned" — but it is not the true acknowledgment of penitence, rather a hypothetical statement. Granted that I have sinned, what is that to You, O watcher of men? Why do You seek me as a mark for Your weapons instead of pardoning and restoring me to my former prosperity? … As his soul twists in anguish, Job does not hesitate to accuse God. If he has sinned, why does God punish instead of showing mercy? Such challenges cannot be allowed to pass.
Job asks what harm his sin could do to God. In asking it, he comes close to charging God with cruelty.
Supposing it true that he had sinned, yet what harm had this done to God, whom he calls the Observer of men (v.20)? Was God watching him with a cold, spiteful attitude? Was He making Job a target for His temper, so that Job became a burden to himself? … Of course Job's words are ill-considered, the expressions of a tortured mind. Yet it is as well that what is in the heart comes out.
(Some older translations read "a burden to myself," where the ESV has "a burden to you.")
One commentator traces the trouble to something Job had never done — look at himself in God's presence.
But, with all this, Job had never sounded the depths of his own heart. He did not know himself. He had never really grasped the truth of his own utter ruin and total depravity. … You must grasp this point, or you will not understand the book of Job. Job was called to pass through deep and painful trials. We will not see what they were for unless we face this solemn fact: his conscience had never really been in God's presence. He had never seen himself in the light.
Job's question does get an answer. It comes later, when Job sees the One who was watching him.
The lesson was now learned. Job had looked into the mirror and had seen himself as he had never done; not only so, but he had also seen the Lord. This was enough. It produced repentance. But there is an immense difference between saying "I abhor myself" and "I am clean without transgression."
- Watched. Job calls God the Observer, or watcher, of men — not the Preserver. He knew God's eye was on him, seeing faults he barely noticed in himself.
- Watched in care. The same watching is a comfort elsewhere. Nothing escapes God's care and notice, down to the sparrows and the hairs of our heads.
- Watched, and resenting it. Job treats that watching as hostile. He asks what harm his sin could do to God, and sees himself as a target instead of a man pardoned.
- Watched, but not yet known. "I have sinned" here sounds more like a supposition than repentance. Job's conscience had never yet stood in God's presence.
- Watched until seen. In the end Job sees the Lord, and then he sees himself. Self-defence turns into repentance. That is the answer to this verse.
And why dost not thou forgive my transgression and take away mine iniquity? for now shall I lie down in the dust, and thou shalt seek me early, and I shall not be.
Job ends his long reply with a personal plea about sin: why is his guilt not lifted off him while there is still time? The words sound like faith, but Job still had much to learn about himself and about God.
The verb behind "pardon" carries the picture of lifting a load off a person. A dictionary of Bible words traces it this way:
nasa, "to lift up," forgive. Exodus 23:21; 1 Samuel 15:25; Job 7:21; Micah 7:18.
Job feels that weight, and knows only God can lift it:
He knew he was under God's eye, who could perceive error where he was hardly aware of it. And why did God not grant pardon and remove the weight of his load?
Job does say "I have sinned," but the shape of the sentence matters. It is offered as a supposition, not as a broken admission:
At last Job will speak of his sin, though most briefly. "I have sinned" — but this is not the true acknowledgment of penitence. Instead, it is a hypothetical statement. Granted that I have sinned, what is that to You, O watcher of men? Why do You seek me as a mark for Your weapons instead of pardoning me and restoring me to my former prosperity? … In the writhing of his soul-anguish, Job does not hesitate to accuse God. If he has sinned, why does God punish instead of showing mercy? Truly such challenges cannot be allowed to pass.
The admission stops short of what God was working toward:
So from the start Job admitted some sense of guilt. But a life of devotion and outward correctness propped him up, and he did not yet see how great that guilt was. God was beginning the process which would lead him to see how deep and black it was.
The name Job uses for God in the line before shapes this whole appeal:
"I have sinned" — or "If I have sinned," which I take to be the real sense of the passage. "What shall I do to You, O You" — not exactly "Preserver" but "Observer"? It is worth noting such errors where they stand out so plainly — "O You Observer!" He was fully aware that God had His eye on him all the time. Still, he was not in God's presence in the way he entered it later. Then he knew himself, and knew God better, as he learned through this.
Job is not turning away from God. He asks Him to deal with a fault he cannot even name.
He had confidence in God. But he could not understand what God somehow had against him — something he was not conscious of in himself. "Oh," he said, "why not pardon it, if there is something I am not aware of?"
Behind the puzzle lies a gap in what Job knew of God:
Everything was more or less confused, and people saw God as only a righteous God. But God is the God of all grace. Many people confuse God's grace with His goodness. Yet the goodness of God is quite a different thing from His grace. His goodness flows out in every kind of kindness, in patience with us, and in consideration for our weakness. But the grace of God means not merely His love, but His love rising above sin — His love triumphing over all our evil.
The closing line imagines God looking for him too late. Job pictures himself gone beyond reach:
If Job had sinned in whatever small measure, why would God not pardon this and take away his iniquity? He knew he had never rebelled against God on purpose. So he could not understand why God would not pardon small offences. Now all he could do was lie down in the dust. He felt so humiliated that God would not even be able to find him — he would "no longer be." Of course Job's words are ill-considered. They are the words of a tortured mind. Yet it is as well that what is in the heart comes out.
Job wants his guilt lifted away. But how can God spare a guilty man and remain righteous?
How can God say, "Deliver him from going down to the pit"? Is he just? Oh, no! Is he innocent? Oh, no! Does he not deserve to go down to the pit? Oh, yes! Then how can God be just in sparing him? "I have found a ransom" — or, as the margin reads, "atonement." Man is guilty. He has no righteousness. But God has found a ransom.
- Lift — "Pardon" means to lift a weight off a person; Job feels a load and knows only God can remove it.
- Light — His "I have sinned" is a supposition, not repentance. His upright life hid from him how deep his guilt went.
- Limit — He knew God as righteous and as the Observer who misses nothing, but not yet as the God whose love rises above sin.
- Loss — He measures everything by the grave: pardon must come now, because soon God will look and he will not be there.
- Ransom — Here is the answer he never reached: God can spare the guilty and stay just, because He has found a ransom.