And Esau was forty years old, when he took as wives Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basmath the daughter of Elon the Hittite.
Genesis 26 ends with a jolt. God has just renewed His promise to Isaac. Then Isaac's older son marries two Hittite women. The verse raises a question the rest of Genesis answers: how much do a man's closest ties reveal about his heart?
His age matters, and so does his taking both wives at once. One writer ties the marriage back to the day Esau traded his birthright for a bowl of stew.
First, as a preface to the setting aside of Esau, we are told of his marriage, at forty years old, at once to two Canaanite wives. This is the natural sequel of a profanity which could value his birthright at a bowl of stew. These "forty years" are a significant hint to us of completed probation. In his two wives, married at once, he refuses at once the example and counsel of his father, and by his union with Canaanite women disregards the divine sentence, and shows unmistakably the innermost recesses of the heart.
The same writer adds: "It is a sign of the times that people think so little about the character of a man's associations. In truth, nothing gives us our character so much. Esau's Canaanite wives set him aside for good from the blessing which the next chapter shows becoming Jacob's."
Isaac's own wife came from Abraham's family, not from Canaan. Esau reversed that, and in doing so he crossed more than family custom.
Esau established the most intimate connection, that of marriage, with two Hittite women. He thus brushed aside the thought of taking a wife from their own kindred, and linked himself with the people of the land whose sin was rising until their judgment fell some three to four hundred years later. Previously he had despised the birthright, now he despised a restriction that had divine sanction. The call of God was nothing to him. It was a grief of mind to his parents and a challenging of the purpose of God.
One writer weighs both the word used for his parents' grief and Esau's second choice of wife.
When Esau was 40 years of age (that is, the age of normal discretion) he took as wife (a deliberate selection) Judith… They were a grief of mind (margin: "bitterness or sorrow") to his parents… In his second selection Esau came near to the right line, but stopped short of the mind of God for the descendants of Abraham, the friend of God. How often intimate ties are formed by Christians with those who are outwardly connected with Christian profession, but who prove to be no different from the world.
Isaac felt the wrong, yet it did not change how he treated Esau.
Esau not only had disposed of his birthright, but he had socially disqualified himself from being heir by marrying a Canaanite. This being known to Isaac is, as we read, a "grief of mind" to him. Yet even this did not displace Esau from that place in his father's affections which he had held for so many years.
Another writer asks how it came to this, and compares Isaac with his own father.
But he is seriously careless in this matter, compared with his father… He does not watch over his children's ways, to head off trouble, as Abraham had done. Esau his son marries a daughter of the Hittites. Isaac and Rebekah are grieved at this, it is true; for they had righteous souls which knew how to be "vexed" with this; but then, it was their carelessness which had brought this trouble upon them.
One writer applies Esau's marriages to the choices believers make today.
Isaac had received a wife from the family of Abraham, for God's promise was connected with that line, the line of faith. Esau took two wives, both from the Hittites, the children of Heth, which means "fear", a picture of people who live in fear of death rather than by faith… But mixed marriages have been a source of great trouble throughout history. Esau's marriages therefore were a grief of mind to his parents. May every believer pay closest attention to the serious warning of 2 Corinthians 6:14 to 18, which begins, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers."
- Choice — At forty, an age of full discretion, Esau chose two Canaanite wives at once. It was deliberate, not a slip.
- Contempt — He had already despised his birthright. Now he despised a restriction that carried divine sanction. The call of God meant nothing to him.
- Character — Nothing gives a man his character like the company he chooses. His wives exposed the innermost recesses of his heart.
- Consequence — The marriages brought bitterness to Isaac and Rebekah. They also set Esau aside from the blessing that passed to Jacob.
- Caution — The warning still stands. Do not be unequally yoked. And beware of choices that come near the right line but stop short of the mind of God.
And they were a grief of mind to Isaac and to Rebecca.
Genesis 26 ends in peace: wells dug, and a treaty sworn at Beersheba. Then comes the sour note — Isaac's elder son marries two Hittite women, and older translations say they were "a grief of mind" to his parents.
The pain lands on the parents, but one writer looks past them. Esau had already sold his birthright. This marriage showed the same contempt, now in his closest tie.
Verses 34 and 35 reveal a bitter sorrow in sad contrast. Despising his birthright was not enough for him. This unholy man took two daughters of Heth as wives when he was fully grown, and both his parents grieved. Was this a man to receive or value the blessing of Jehovah? It was He who was dishonoured most by such a marriage, to say nothing of the family.
Esau was forty, and he married two women at the same time. One writer reads that choice as a window into the man.
These "forty years" are a significant hint to us of completed probation. By marrying two wives at once, he refuses both the example and the advice of his father. By joining himself to Canaanite women, he disregards God's sentence. The choice shows plainly what lies deepest in his heart. It is a sign of the times that so little is thought of the character of man's associations. In truth, nothing gives us our character so much. To say of Enoch, or of Noah, that "he walked with God" describes the man fully in the fewest words. Can choosing to keep company with His enemies fit any real desire for such a walk? Esau's Canaanite wives set him aside at last from the blessing, and the next chapter shows that blessing going to Jacob.
Isaac had avoided this exact mistake. Abraham arranged his son's marriage with care, and Isaac waited for it. Esau broke with the way his family had lived.
Abraham sends a trusted servant far away to get a wife "in the Lord" for his son. Eliezer goes on that errand with a ready mind. Isaac waits in patience for the outcome. He seeks no alliance with the people nearer at hand. Though sad and lonely, he keeps himself for the wife the Lord has appointed. He might have got a daughter of Canaan; but he endured.
Isaac and Rebekah are the ones who suffer here. One writer traces part of that sorrow back to what Isaac had failed to do.
Isaac in his turn and generation becomes the head of the family. But compared with his father he is badly careless here, as the close of chapter 26 shows us. He does not watch over his children's ways to head off trouble, as Abraham had done. Esau his son marries a daughter of the Hittites. Isaac and Rebekah grieve over it, it is true. They had righteous souls that knew how to be "vexed" by such a thing. But their own carelessness had brought that grief on them.
The grief did not fade. A chapter later Rebekah speaks to Isaac about these same women.
She tells Isaac she is tired of living because of the daughters of Heth, two of whom Esau had married. They evidently continued to be "a grief of mind" to her. How many Christian mothers since then have had deep sorrow over their children being married to unbelievers!
The Hittites were the children of Heth. One writer finds the lesson in the name itself.
Esau took two wives, both from the Hittites, the children of Heth, which means "fear," typical of those who live in fear of death rather than by faith. Compare Hebrews 2:15, which speaks of those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. How dishonoring to God it is to mix His promise with the fear of death! But mixed marriages have been a source of great trouble throughout history. Every believer should give closest attention to the serious warning of 2 Corinthians 6:14-18. It begins, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers."
- Contempt — Esau despised his birthright first, then married two Hittite women. One attitude showed itself twice.
- Character — nothing gives us our character like the company we choose. Esau's two wives showed what lay deepest in his heart.
- Cost — the pain landed on Isaac and Rebekah, and a chapter later Rebekah is still weary of life because of it.
- Carelessness — Abraham watched over his son's marriage. Isaac did not watch over Esau's, and one writer traces part of the grief back to that.
- Caution — the scene ends in a plain warning — do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.