Ephesians 5:21–24

The first three chapters show the believer's standing in Christ, and God's thoughts about the Church. The practical teaching that follows falls into four groups. They match the believer's relationship with the Church (Eph. 4:1‑16), the world (Eph. 4:17‑5:21), the family (Eph. 5:21 — Eph. 6:9), and the powers of darkness (Eph. 6:10‑17). In each of these positions, the rule of conduct given to him matches his standing, shown earlier in the letter.

Another word is added here that seems a little out of place: "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." The cheerfulness stirred up by wine is quarrelsome and self-assertive. The gladness of heart poured out by the Spirit is not. The deep sense of grace that calls forth praise and thanksgiving to God humbles instead of exalting. The fuller the heart is of praise to God, the lower it will be in its own esteem. So comes submission to one another. It does not come merely out of kindness and good nature, but out of the deep sense of the fear of God. That fear never stops filling the heart occupied with His goodness and love.

Submitting myself to another means accepting and taking a lower place under another person's lawful authority over me. Obedience means behaving and acting according to that place. I do that by submitting my will to the will of the one who has authority over me. It holds whether I am there by my own choice or by necessity, such as birth. Naturally speaking, the two are not always the same. There may be an outward submission without real obedience. In the Christian sense, both are a matter of the heart, as being done to the Lord.

Then you get a spirit of grace, "submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ." It does not mean submitting to do evil if you ask me to. It means that faith has no will of its own. If you want me to do wrong, I cannot do it, because it is not God's will; but in everything where my own will is concerned, I give way to you. We are to submit to one another in the fear of Christ. It is what sitting in heavenly places produces on earth.

Now look at the second part of our verse. It tells us that such submission of one to another is to be "in the fear of Christ." That is the correct reading, not "in the fear of God," as the common version has it. The fear of God is all-important. It marks the beginning of God's work in a soul, as with the thief on the cross. It also marks the Christian's walk in holiness of life (2 Cor. 7:1). Yet in this passage, as in Colossians 3, the Spirit of God delights to set Christ Himself fully before the eye of faith as Head of the Church — the second Person of the Godhead, the Father's well-beloved.

Christian humility of mind willingly takes the lowest seat at God's great feast of mercy. It knows how unworthy it is of what it is so freely called to share. So it gladly lets God's other guests go first. If the heart is in its right state, it will always see the Lord in His people. Then showing them deference in love becomes an easy and welcome duty. This habitual turning to God is what keeps Christian fellowship from sinking into ordinary human company.

This Scripture shows that the position of the wife is one of subjection. The wife is indeed told to obey, but the ground of it is the place she holds. A word or two added in the translation has somewhat hidden this. We read, "As the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be." But leave out the word "let." The italics show it was added. Then we have a simple statement of fact: "As the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives to their own husbands in everything." This matters. The obedience asked of the wife then flows out of the position she is set in — the natural fruit of the relationship. In other words, obedience to her husband is not left to the wife's choice; it is to be given because of her relative place.

The apostle speaks of the place where the church has been set, that of subjection to her Head. He is not speaking of her actual practice. Sadly, how much self-will and losing sight of the Headship of Christ has spoiled that practice! But the truth stands: "the church is subject to Christ." He is her glorified Head. The Christian wife is to learn the great principle and act on it.

Such is the general principle. But then, you will notice, there is always a measure and a guard in every such word of Scripture. It is not simply said, "Therefore, let the wives be subject in everything to their own husbands," but "Therefore, as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be." So Christ's own blessed way of caring for the church, and of dealing with it in its due subjection to the Lord, becomes the pattern for wives towards their own husbands.

There seems to be one limit to this statement. The words in Colossians show it: "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord" (Col. 3:18). Suppose the husband's will interferes with the wife's own responsibility to the Lord. Suppose it clashes with the Lord's will as given in His word. If she must choose between obeying her husband and disobeying the Lord, then the Lord must have the supreme claim. With this one exception her submission to her husband must be complete.

Wives are told to submit to their husbands. Husbands are never pressed to keep their wives in subjection. The duty pressed on them is to love their wives.

The subjection of the believer to the Lord, or of the Church to Christ, is no curse or bondage. These are now the models for the wife's subjection. She is to be subject to her own husband, "as to the Lord," and as "the Church is subject to Christ." How beautiful to see a human relationship turned into a picture of the mystery — and a relationship that draws part of its character from the fall! In that mystery God displays His "manifold wisdom" to "the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places."