with all lowliness and meekness, with long-suffering, bearing with one another in love;
Paul first describes what God has given. Then he turns to how that gift should look in daily life. He names four qualities: lowliness, meekness, patience, and forbearance in love. Commentators treat them as the test of a life worthy of God's calling.
The list is not a demand for effort out of nowhere. Writers trace it back to how close God has already brought us to Himself.
Paul unfolds the calling, and then calls on us to walk worthy of it, in the first part of chapter 4. God has brought us very close to Himself, and the necessary effect of that is lowliness and meekness. How could it be otherwise? The greatness of the grace makes nothing of self. This is not easy. You see it clearly in Christ's life, and in Philippians too.
The first two words are close in meaning. Commentators tell them apart by how each one behaves when friction comes.
What is the difference between lowliness and meekness? Lowliness does not give offense, and meekness does not take offense. Both are needed if we are not to quarrel with our brothers and sisters. Third comes long-suffering, and fourth, "bearing with one another in love." All four qualities are meant to help us live at peace with each other, and to carry the suffering others may cause us.
The order of the four is not accidental. Lowliness and meekness are what I bring. Patience is what I need when the other person brings something else.
Lowliness and meekness are to mark us: how else can we walk together? ... If we let self have its way, fellowship becomes impossible. Resentment and strife are sure to follow. But suppose that, while we display lowliness and meekness, we find others are not like that? Then comes the opportunity of exercising long-suffering and forbearance in love.
Paul does not simply say "bear with one another"; he adds in love. That addition is a safeguard, because it is possible to put up with someone while despising them.
We may have to put up with insults and rejection, and bear with those who treat us that way. But note the warning: this forbearance must be shown in love. It is possible to bear with much in the spirit of pride that treats an offending brother with contempt. If we have to be silent, let it be with love that grieves over unworthy conduct.
These are not abstract virtues. They are for one setting: life together in the church, where they get used every day.
The instructions in the first part of chapter 4, down to verse 16, have our calling in view. They speak to us not one by one, but as members of the body of Christ, the church. In the gatherings of the saints, how often friction occurs! A little experience of assembly life is enough to convince us that this is so. Here then is an immense field for cultivating the beautiful graces listed in verse 2.
These words sound like putting yourself down. So people twist them into something God never asked for. One writer warns against this.
Nothing is more fitting in a believer than "lowliness and meekness," but perhaps nothing is more misunderstood. In too many cases Satan's craft turns these beautiful graces into doubts. Those doubts dishonour God and destroy the believer's peace. God never calls it lowliness and meekness to doubt the truth of His word, or the effectiveness of Christ's work. On the contrary, He counts it pride and presumption.
The two words Paul opens with are the two Jesus used of Himself. Writers point to that link for our model.
Our blessed Lord rises before our eyes. He Himself says, "I am gentle and lowly in heart" (Matthew 11:29). It touches the heart to think of "the mighty God," the eternal Son of God. He made countless wonders and holds up the whole universe. Yet He came down and became a man, so fully that He could say those words. We may well seek to follow in His steps.
Note: the ESV renders Matthew 11:29 "gentle and lowly in heart." Older translations read "meek and lowly" — the same word Paul uses in Ephesians 4:2.
- Grace first. God has brought us close to Himself, and that empties out self-importance. Lowliness is the effect of the calling, not a technique added to it.
- Self gone. Lowliness gives no offense and meekness takes none. Let self have its way, and fellowship breaks down into strife.
- Then patience. Long-suffering is what you need when the other person has not learned the first two.
- Love as the motive. Silence can be pride in disguise. Forbearance is only real when love grieves over the wrong instead of despising the person.
- Tested together. The four graces are for church life, where friction is common. We learn them by following the One who called Himself gentle and lowly in heart.
using diligence to keep the unity of the Spirit in the uniting bond of peace.
Paul spends three chapters on what God has done for believers. Then he turns to how they are to live together. The first thing he asks for is not the making of unity, but the guarding of one that already exists. Whose unity is it? What does keeping it involve? And why is peace called a bond?
The unity in this verse is a fact before it is a duty.
This unity is what we have to keep. We are urged to be "eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace" — to keep in practice what already exists in fact. We are not to make a unity, but to keep, by the bond of peace, the unity that exists through the presence of the Holy Spirit in the one body.
One writer explains why the verse says "of the Spirit" and not "of the body."
Christians can agree with one another and still miss this unity.
We are to aim at more than agreement. We could all be of one mind, in the sweetest agreement, in favour of something completely wrong! We are to give all diligence to keeping the unity of the Spirit — not Paul's unity, not Peter's, not yours or mine, but the unity the Spirit has produced. We did not make this unity, and we cannot break it. The Spirit made it, and we are to keep it in practice in the bond of peace.
A closer look at the original wording brings out both the effort involved and the function of peace.
What then is the great leading principle of a walk worthy of our wonderful calling? The place this has in our hearts and lives will serve to test how far we are in unison with the mind of God for the glory of Christ in the Assembly; it is seen in Ephesians 4:3, which literally translated reads: "Using diligence to keep the unity of the Spirit in the uniting bond of peace"; but we must not overlook the moral conditions in which alone, even in the brightest days of the Assembly, such a path could be maintained.
There is only one way into this verse, and it is the verse before it.
People often ask what it means to be "eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace" (Eph. 4:3), and they pass over the first two verses… You cannot get to verse 3 without going through verse 2 and learning it in practice. We need all the humility, gentleness, patience, and bearing with one another in love, to keep the unity of the Spirit.
The peace in view is not first our own peace with God.
Peace is spoken of here not so much for our own souls before God, but for enjoying and furthering union among God's people in practice. The flesh is anxious and restless. A peaceful spirit is the fruit of the Holy Spirit, and it does much to bind hearts together in practice.
That bond is no call to smooth things over by dropping the truth.
This unity cannot be kept where man's mind and will are in control. It is kept only where the Spirit is free to make known the mind and will of God, and where there is a settled effort to carry out what God has said. No one can force such a state. It is the fruit of communion, so the words "in the bond of peace." How far this is from the common desire, even among true believers, for peace at any price. If we give up divine principles for the sake of peace, that is not the peace of the unity of the Spirit.
The old state of things can never be restored. Even so, the command stands.
Scripture never allows that it is impossible for God's people to walk in fellowship with God's Spirit and to hold on to the truth. That is always possible. The Spirit of God assumes there will be evil and dangerous days. Even so, God commands us to be "eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace," and He commands nothing impossible. We can never restore anything to what it was. But we can walk in obedience to the word, and in the company of the Spirit of God.
- Given — The Spirit's presence in the one body has already made this unity. Your part is to keep it, not to build it.
- Guarded — Paul says "of the Spirit," not "of the body." The wording stops anyone tying this unity to an outward institution.
- Genuine — Agreement is not the test. Believers can be of one mind about something wrong.
- Grown — You reach verse 3 only through verse 2: humility, gentleness, patience, and bearing with one another in love.
- Going on — Peace is the bond, but never peace bought by giving up truth. God commands nothing that has become impossible.