If a man find a damsel, a virgin, who is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found,
A man and a young woman who is not engaged are found together, and one law settles both their futures. Why is such a rule in the Bible at all, and what does its penalty say about how God values a woman?
This law sits in a chapter that runs from a bird's nest up to matters of life and death. One writer describes what the whole set was for.
In Deuteronomy 22 we have a group of different rules about righteousness, care, love and tenderness. They cover the smallest matters as well as the greatest... The great purpose here is that God would form the heart of His people in this relationship. He would set their measure by His own affections. He would give them thoughts that are not merely righteous but holy, mixed with tenderness when it was called for.
The same writer sums up the whole chapter in one line.
Deuteronomy 22 encourages gracious and even sensitive feeling. It forbids the mixing of principles. It punishes impurity, and it protects the weak and innocent against brutality.
The penalty falls on the man. It costs him money and his freedom for life.
Suppose a man and woman who were not married or engaged were guilty of having sexual intercourse. The man then had to pay fifty shekels of silver to the woman's father and keep her as his wife. He was never allowed to divorce her (vv. 28-29). In all of these things God shows the seriousness of having sexual relationships. He intended this only within the marriage bond. Those who break this today can expect unpleasant consequences, and the displeasure of the Lord.
Commentators differ on whether this verse describes seduction or force. The verse itself says the man seizes her. One writer groups verses 25-29 together as laws about force, with the penalty changing by case:
Rape brought either death or compulsory marriage, vv. 25-29.
A matching law in Exodus deals with the same case. One writer explains why the man was bound to marry her.
The law here puts the guilt mainly on the man — though it does not free the woman from her share. But a man cannot sin lightly and then act as if he had not sinned, especially in the way mentioned here. So he took on the obligation of giving her a marriage settlement and taking her as his wife. The principle is stated by Paul: "Do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, 'The two will become one flesh.'" (1 Corinthians 6:16.)
Many readers wonder why such verses are in the Bible at all. One writer answers that the ban itself tells us what we are.
The passages we would least expect to find in Scripture teach us, in their own way, what moral material we are made of. They show the depths we are capable of sinking into... when God commands us not to commit this or that particular sin, we truly are capable of committing it... Divine wisdom would never build a dam if there were no current to be resisted.
The same writer draws a second lesson from how small the details are that God covers here.
No mother watches the habits and manners of her little child more carefully than the Almighty Creator and moral Governor of the universe watched the smallest details of the daily life of His people... We are amazed to find the Most High God, the Creator of the ends of the earth, condescending to make a law about a bird's nest.
These rules restrain evil; they do not cure the heart that produces it. One writer says the law here works with conditions God allowed, not conditions He approved.
Some things are taken for granted here, and these ordinances rest on them. The full working of the Spirit of Christ would take those things away completely. Divorce is one example. Such things were endured, and they existed only because of the hardness of man's heart. But the law of God sets limits and conditions. These keep in check the wickedness of a will that hardens itself while it oppresses others.
- Current — A law exists because the sin exists; the dam proves the river. These verses are a mirror of the human heart, not a curiosity of ancient culture.
- Dam — The law does not cure that current, it restrains it. Its limits check a hardened will that oppresses others.
- Cost — The penalty falls on the man: silver to her father, marriage, and no right of divorce for life. Here sin cannot be paid off and left behind.
- Care — The God who makes a law about a bird's nest makes a law about a woman's future. Nothing about His people is too small for His notice.
- Beyond — The law could only endure some things. The full working of the Spirit of Christ takes them away.
then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he hath humbled her; he may not put her away all his days.
This law deals with a man who violates a young woman who is not engaged. Readers today often stumble here: does such a rule protect the woman or punish her, and why is it in the Bible at all?
One writer states plainly what the law required.
Suppose a man and woman who were not married and not engaged were guilty of having sexual intercourse. The man had to pay fifty shekels of silver to the woman's father and keep her as his wife. The law forbade him ever to divorce her (verses 28-29). In all of these things God shows how serious sexual relationships are. He intended them only within the marriage bond. Those who violate this today can expect unpleasant consequences, and the displeasure of the Lord.
Why did the man owe her marriage, and not just money? One writer points to the bond the act itself makes.
Here the guilt falls mainly on the man, though the woman does not escape her share. But a man cannot sin lightly and then act as if he had not sinned, especially in the way mentioned here. So he took on the obligation of endowing her to be his wife. Paul lays down the principle: "Do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, 'The two will become one flesh'" (1 Corinthians 6:16). Our blessed Lord taught the same thing, and for the same reason. "Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9).
The chapter's wider pattern shows which way its laws lean.
Deuteronomy 22 appears to contain rules that guard the people against unkindness and lack of mercy. They also guard against anything that would offend the natural feelings of tenderness or purity... We find the same for women. The law protected them from the dishonour a brutish, inconsiderate husband would do them, and it punished impurity with death.
God's aim in these rules went further than fair dealing.
In Deuteronomy 22 the great object is that God would form the heart of His people in this relationship and by the measure of His own affections. God would give them holy thoughts, not merely upright ones. And those thoughts would be mingled with tenderness when the moment called for it.
Why does Scripture spell out a sin like this at all? The command itself tells us something about ourselves.
When God tells us not to commit some particular sin, we can be sure we are capable of committing it. This is beyond all question. Divine wisdom would never build a dam if there were no current to resist. There would be no need to tell an angel not to steal; but man has theft in his nature, and so the command applies to him. It is just the same with everything else God forbids. The prohibition proves the tendency — proves it beyond all question.
This law was not God's last word on marriage. It held an evil in check without removing it.
Here, it is true, everything is imperfect. Some things are taken for granted here, and they form the basis of these rules. The full working of the Spirit of Christ would remove them entirely — divorce, for instance, and other things that people put up with because man's heart was hard. But the limits and conditions set by the law of God keep in check the wickedness of a will that hardens itself while it oppresses others.
One writer says where the law failed most, and what finally set it right.
As we know from our Lord's words, the law failed most of all in the law of marriage. Man's hard heart ruled out the full restraint of absolute righteousness until grace should come. The surrounding nations practised polygamy and divorce. These could only be modified in part, by curbing the will and preventing sheer lawlessness. It fell to Christianity to restore woman to her original place in creation, at the side of man.
- Dam — The rule exists because the current exists. The prohibition proves the very tendency it was built to hold back.
- Debt — A man could not sin and walk away as if nothing had happened. The act itself bound him to endow her as his wife.
- Defence — The chapter's laws lean toward the weaker party. They shielded women from the dishonour a brutish man would do them.
- Delicacy — God aimed past bare fairness. He was shaping His people's hearts to His own affections: righteous thoughts mingled with tenderness.
- Deficiency — The law curbed evil without curing it. Only grace restored marriage to its place at creation.