Honour widows who are really widows;
Paul now turns to one group inside the church: widows. His command to honour them raises two questions the rest of the chapter answers. The first is what "honour" costs. The second is who counts as a widow "indeed."
The word that opens this instruction is wide. It may include money, but it is never only money.
Next comes the important case of those who had lost their husbands. It mattered all the more because of the position of women in that ancient world: "Honour widows who are truly widows." This is the opening instruction, and so the word used, "honour," has the broadest possible meaning. Some, perhaps many, might not need material proof of care; but due regard belonged to all who were really widows. The context makes plain who the real widow is. She had no immediate relations to take care of her, and so was all the more to be an object of honour. If she was destitute, that honour would certainly mean support, more or less according to her need. But it is a mistake to limit honour to such provision, as many a real widow might have no such necessity. "Honour" here, as elsewhere, must be kept in its own proper and broad meaning.
Bereavement alone does not settle the question. Paul's qualifier points to something in the woman herself.
First, we are told to pay due regard to widows who are "widows indeed." A "widow indeed" is not simply someone who has lost her husband. She is a woman marked by certain moral qualities. Whether in need or not, such women are to be held in honour.
Luke's Gospel supplies portraits of the very traits Paul lists, and one writer sets the three side by side.
Three characteristics mark the "widow indeed." She is desolate, she trusts in God, and she keeps on in supplications and prayers night and day (v. 5)... The widow of Nain was truly the desolate one (Luke 7). Her son, "the only son of his mother," was being carried out for burial when our blessed Lord met him as the Prince of Life. The poor widow put her two small coins into the treasury. Out of her poverty she "put in all she had to live on," and she surely trusted in God (Luke 21). And in Anna we find the last characteristic. She was a widow of about eighty-four years. She did not leave the temple, but served God with fasting and prayer night and day (Luke 2:37).
The church is told to honour widows because God Himself already does. That care is not second-best.
What rich provision there is here for widows and orphans! How wonderful is God's care of them! How many widows are far better off than when they had their husbands! How many orphans are better cared and provided for than when they had their parents! God looks after them! That is enough... He is always true to His own Name, whatever relationship He takes. Let all widows and orphans remember this for their comfort and encouragement.
Verse 4 narrows the scope. A widow with living children or grandchildren is their charge, not the church's.
The church was never intended to swamp the family. Instead, the grace and truth which came by Jesus Christ should deepen our sense of every duty and widen the reach of active love.
Another writer points to what Paul says about the man who dodges that duty.
Notice how clearly Paul teaches that children and descendants are responsible for the support of their parents. In this way they show godliness or piety at home... His condemnation in verse 8 of the man who avoids or neglects this duty is very severe. It shows how serious a sin it is in God's sight. Some men are famous for piety in public. Yet they are branded as worse than an unbeliever for the lack of this piety at home.
Where there is no family, the church steps in — but with limits.
There may, however, be needy people in the Christian circle who have no relatives to provide for them. The assembly should put such people on the list of those it can rightly care for. Even so, one must take care not to use the house of God as if it were merely an institution for supporting needy people.
The honoured widow is more than a welfare category. Her position pictures something true of the whole church and of Christ Himself.
As far as earth is concerned, the Church is a widow; in this sense she is desolate, with no visible resource at all. When she realizes this, she enters most fully into the enjoyment of the boundless affections of her Lord... The characteristics given are also seen in our blessed Lord Himself. He was alone. He had nowhere to lay His head, and no one on earth shared His fellowship. He trusted in God, and He was constantly in prayer. Every believer therefore should be marked in this way, and will be in proportion as he is like his Lord.
- Honour, broadly. The command covers respect for every real widow. Where there is need it also means money. But honour is always more than money.
- Honour, discerned. A "widow indeed" is not merely bereaved. She is left alone, she has set her hope on God, and she keeps praying — the marks seen in Anna and in the woman with two coins.
- Honour, at home first. Children and grandchildren carry the primary duty. The man whose piety shines in public but fails his own mother is branded as worse than an unbeliever.
- Honour, then by the church. Where no family remains, the assembly adds such a widow to its list. But it must not turn into a mere relief agency.
- Honour, as a mirror. Desolate on earth, trusting God, praying night and day — this was Christ's own path. Every believer's life should take the same shape.
but if any widow have children or descendants, let them learn first to be pious as regards their own house, and to render a return on their side to [their] parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God.
The apostle has just told Timothy to honour widows who are truly widows. Now he draws a line: if a widow still has family, the family carries the cost. Two questions follow. Who must learn this duty, and what does it look like day to day?
The instruction speaks to the widow's family, not to the widow. One writer notes that readers have long disputed this, and gives his reason:
Such a widow, unlike those of verse 3, is entrusted to her immediate relatives, who must learn their duty if they did not already know it. Strange to say, most of the early church writers take the widows to be the ones who must learn, and so do some later German scholars, including Winer. Chrysostom, Theodoret and others among the Greeks read it that way, as did Jerome and others among the Latins, and even Luther and Calvin. But the Syriac stands with others in the true view, that it is the children or grandchildren who are called to learn. This best agrees with the context, and is morally sound in itself. The younger owed loving and respectful care to the widow of their family. That is the strict sense of making a return. The church was never intended to swamp the family. Instead, the grace and truth that came by Jesus Christ should deepen every sense of duty and widen the reach of active love.
Older English versions read "nephews," a word that has since narrowed in meaning. The same writer traces how the translation drifted:
Tyndale translated the Greek word as "neves," and the Protestant versions that followed kept it, right down to the King James Version. In that day the word seems to have covered grandsons or descendants in general. Now it means only the children of a brother or sister. So the common translation is not a mistake. It is only an outdated usage, and "descendants" is the better word.
"Making some return to their parents" means practical support. One writer shows how seriously God treats a failure here, and how a public reputation can hide it:
Notice how clearly this teaches that children and descendants are responsible for the support of their parents. In this way they show godliness, or piety at home. Let us fix this in our minds, for we forget it easily in these days of state handouts and other forms of public support. Verse 8 condemns the man who avoids or neglects this duty in very severe terms. That shows how serious a sin it is in God's sight. Some men are famous for their piety in public, yet they stand branded as worse than an unbeliever for lack of this piety at home.
Some once found a way around the duty of honouring parents, turning religion itself into the excuse:
This command plainly made it obligatory on the Jews to maintain their parents if that was needed. But they wanted to escape this responsibility, and they invented a religious pretext for doing so. They taught that a man who dedicated his property to God for His service was free from the duty of honouring his parents. So they said, "It is Corban." That means a gift, something set apart for sacred use. In this way they excused themselves from their responsibility.
The word "first" sets an order. One writer weighs it against public service:
I do not wish to devalue teaching or preaching or missionary work in the slightest. But I dare to say that piety at home is more important than a class in the Sunday School or speaking at the corner of the street. My reason comes from the verse itself: "let them first learn to show godliness to their own household." What God has put first, we are always wrong to put second. How much more to neglect it altogether!
He then asks why home is the test, and why the family so often gets our worst:
Why is home the best place? Because there you are more off your guard than perhaps anywhere else... Why should you keep your sweetness for your Christian friends and your sourness for your family? You must first learn to show piety at home. It will make you a better teacher of children, and a better disciple of Christ in every way.
The verse ends by naming who is watching:
If such parents are in real need, let the descendants prove their practical piety by making a return to them. This is good and acceptable before God. Here again we see that piety brings God into all the details of life, and seeks to act in a way that pleases Him.
- Learn. The children and grandchildren must learn this duty, not the widow. Commentators have long differed here, and many early writers read it the other way.
- First. God set the order. Piety at home comes before public service, and what God puts first we must never put second.
- Family. "Descendants" is the better word than the older "nephews." The duty runs down the whole family line, and the church was never meant to swallow up the family.
- Repay. The return owed is practical support, not sentiment. Religious excuses for holding it back, like the Corban gift, push God's command aside.
- Accepted. This is what God calls acceptable, and it brings Him into the smallest details of ordinary family life.
Now she who [is] a widow indeed, and is left alone, has put [her] hope in God, and continues in supplications and prayers night and day.
Paul is telling Timothy which widows the church should honour and support. Here he describes the genuine one — and raises a question that goes far beyond widows: what does God do with a person stripped of every human resource?
One writer names the three marks in order.
The Apostle then gives us the beautiful marks of one who is "truly a widow". She is desolate, with no human resources. Her confidence is in God — she "has set her hope on God". And she depends on God, for she "continues in supplications and prayers night and day."
One writer asks why this constant prayer belongs to the widow, and answers from what she has lost.
Here we have individual perseverance "in supplications and prayers." Why is it the widow's part to continue in them "night and day"? Because she is alone and stripped of every resource. She can only turn to God, and in this way learn dependence.
Many such women had once been the ones helping others. Now they receive instead.
In the days of her prosperity this Christian woman gave herself to the good works listed in verse 10. She would have recognized that it was really God Himself caring for the afflicted through her hands. He was the Giver; she was only the channel. Now her position is reversed. But she knows well that she must not look to the channels, but to the mighty Source of all. So her trust is in God, and she waits on Him in prayer. She too is marked by that trust in the living God which is such a large part of practical godliness.
What kind of God does she trust? One writer answers from what God says about Himself.
He is high over all — great, mighty and awesome. But He has a heart for the widow and the fatherless. They are helpless, stripped of every earthly and natural support: the poor grieving, broken-hearted widow and the orphan left alone. God thinks of such people and cares for them in a very special way; they have a claim upon His loving heart and mighty hand. "Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation." "She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day." "Leave your fatherless children; I will keep them alive; and let your widows trust in me."
Luke's Gospel supplies faces for the description — one for each mark of the verse.
Three characteristics are given of the woman who is "truly a widow." She is "left all alone." She "has set her hope on God." She "continues in supplications and prayers night and day." … The widow of Nain met our blessed Lord, the Prince of Life, as her son — "the only son of his mother" — was being carried out for burial. She was the desolate one. (Luke 7.) The poor widow who put two small coins into the treasury, who "out of her poverty put in all she had to live on," was one who trusted in God. (Luke 21.) And in Anna we find the last characteristic. It is said of her that "she was a widow of about eighty-four years, who did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day."
One writer sees another side to her desolation — and a likeness that reaches past widows.
Remember that her desolation, which is her essential feature, is only on the side of earth. In fact it is perfectly true that her very bereaved condition has been the means of her choicest blessing, in the dealings of the God of all comfort. … The same characteristics are seen in our blessed Lord Himself. He was alone. He had nowhere to lay His head, and no one on earth shared fellowship with Him. He trusted in God, and He was always occupied in prayer. So every believer should be marked in the same way, and will be, in proportion as he is like his Lord.
- Left alone. Being desolate means no human help is left. She has lost every earthly and natural support.
- Learning dependence. She can only turn to God, and that is how she learns dependence.
- Looking past channels. She once gave to others as God's channel; now she looks not to channels but to the Source, and waits on Him in prayer.
- Leaning on a promise. Her trust rests on what God says He is — Father of the fatherless, protector of widows, keeper of those left behind.
- Likeness to Christ. The Lord Himself was alone, trusted God, and was always in prayer. Every believer should carry the same marks, in proportion as he is like his Lord.
But she that lives in habits of self-indulgence is dead [while] living.
Paul has just described the widow who has lost everything and leans on God. Now he turns to the woman who fills that same freedom with pleasure. His verdict is not that she is heading for death. She is dead already — so what can "dead" mean about a woman who is plainly alive?
Verse 5 gives the marks of the woman Paul calls a widow indeed.
She is desolate, without human resources. Her confidence is in God — she "trusts in God". And she is dependent upon God, for she "continues in supplications and prayers night and day."
The woman in verse 6 takes the same loss and turns it the other way.
Such a person is false to her character. She denies that she is a widow. She uses her lonely condition as an opportunity to gratify her inclinations and worldly desires, instead of listening to the voice of Him who speaks to her through her sorrows. He spoke that way to Israel long ago: "I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her" (Hosea 2:14). Living that way, she is dead — dead toward God, right in the middle of her pleasures.
Older translations read "lives in pleasure" where the ESV has "self-indulgent". Either way, the words describe a settled way of life, not one enjoyable evening. Paul aims the warning at anyone in the household of God, not only widows.
In contrast with the widow indeed, the Apostle warns us against any in the house of God giving themselves over to "habits of self-indulgence". Such are dead while living. We are told to consider ourselves dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus (Romans 6:11). We cannot live to self and to God at the same time. If we are living to self we are living to sin, which is lawlessness, or the indulgence of our own wills.
From the outside this looks like the good life. That is the trap.
Such a person would be seeing life according to the ideas of the world. But here she is declared dead while living — dead in practice, that is, to the things of God.
Scripture uses "life" and "death" in more than one sense.
Sin separated man from God — God was no source of enjoyment at all. Man could not get rid of his responsibility. But the state of his soul cut him off from any enjoyment of God, and responsibility brought only fear. He looked for enjoyment in what was beneath him, and hated the One he was answerable to. Now "life" is used in both these senses, and death too. "She who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives"; we are "dead in trespasses and sins," while being alive.
One writer traces this death back to its root — the desires and will of the flesh.
Another has said, "All the workings of the desire and will of the flesh end in death. Yes, they have the principle of death in them, for it is living without God." So we read in 1 Timothy 5:6, "She who lives in pleasure (or 'in habits of self-indulgence') is dead while she lives". Death is separation from God.
Behind the pleasure lies contempt for what God's hand is doing.
Her habitual life was inconsistent, and that deeply offended the apostle's spirit. It ought to offend all who feel what is fitting for the house of God in this world... How out of place it is to despise the chastening of His hand! Was a woman to forget her desolation altogether? If she were happy in the Lord, the last thing she would indulge in is pleasure. And no chastening is meant to touch that happiness. Pleasure is Satan's poor substitute in this world for the happiness above it.
The verse names a woman, but the test is wider. Everything turns on whether there is any appetite for Christ.
But without such an appetite, what is there? Death! A corpse has no appetite — it neither hungers nor thirsts. Neither does the soul that is still dead in sins, dead to God. These words are spoken of the woman who seeks her happiness on earth: "She who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives" (1 Tim. 5:6). But it would surely be just as true to say that the man who lives that way is dead too.
- Loss. Two widows start from the same emptiness. One turns it toward God in trust and prayer. The other turns it toward herself.
- Habit. Older translations read habits of self-indulgence. That is a settled way of life, not one indulgence. No one lives to self and to God at the same time.
- Death. Here "dead" means cut off from God, not the end of existence. A person can be fully alive and dead toward Him.
- Substitute. Pleasure is Satan's poor imitation of the happiness above. Chasing it means despising what God's hand is doing.
- Test. A corpse has no appetite. Where there is no hunger for Christ, this verdict falls on men just as much as on the widow it names.
And these things enjoin, that they may be irreproachable.
Paul stops in the middle of his instructions about widows to tell Timothy to press these things home, so that people stand clear of blame. Two questions follow: how far back does "these things" reach, and blameless in whose eyes?
The instructions in this chapter deal with how believers appear to others. They do not deal with the inner life of the soul.
All through this section the subject is what suits an upright walk on the outside. It is what is fitting, whether for a person's own position or before the world. The apostle speaks of elders, of widows, and of what is fitting for younger widows. He speaks of the honour due to faithful elders, above all those among them who also taught. There is nothing inward here, nothing about the soul's relationship with God. Everything points to the public testimony that suited the place of people in this world before God. Notice this. Our joy lies in our heavenly privileges and in our communion. Even so, we can never neglect ordinary duties or right behaviour without paying for it.
The space given to widows can look surprising. An early crisis in the church explains it.
In verse 3 the question of the treatment of widows comes up, and the subject continues to verse 16. We might wonder why the matter takes up so much space. Then we remember that this very question first brought the spirit of contention into the church of God, as recorded in Acts 6:1-7.
Paul tells Timothy to command, not to suggest. The reason lies in the result: people cannot avoid blame in matters no one has taught them to take seriously.
These things had to be charged on the saints with all seriousness, to keep them from the blame that wrongdoing brings. They must not be ignorant of such serious matters.
The word behind "without reproach" is rare. It appears only three times in these letters. Its force is not that a person is perfect, but that an opponent finds no handle.
The word anepilēptos comes from a, meaning "not," and epilēptos, meaning "blameable." It occurs only in 1 Tim. 3:2 and 1 Tim. 5:7, where the King James Version has "blameless," and in 1 Tim. 6:14, where it has "unrebukeable." Archbishop Trench suggests "irreprehensible" for this word, the rendering used in the Rheims Edition at 1 Tim. 3:2. It means there is nothing an enemy can lay hold of.
The charge aims at more than a clean record with people. It runs in two directions at once.
Such warnings are needed. Then everyone in the house of God, walking in piety, will be acceptable and pleasing to God, and blameless before men as well.
Verse 6 has just described a widow given over to pleasure. The charge in verse 7 answers that life, and one writer shows why it troubled the apostle so much.
Such an inconsistent way of life was deeply offensive to the apostle's spirit. It ought to offend everyone who feels what is fitting for the house of God in this world. We can never judge fitting conduct rightly unless we keep our relationship to God and the Lord Jesus in mind. How out of place it is to despise the discipline of His hand! … Enjoying God and His Son makes us feel the bitterness of a ruined world more sharply, and all the real sorrow in it. It also lifts the heart clean out of that world to the things above, where Christ sits at the right hand of God. That is why it mattered so much to command these things — so the saints concerned might be without reproach.
- Charge. Timothy does not suggest; he commands. People stay clear of blame only when someone presses serious matters on them plainly.
- Content. "These things" are the practical directions of this chapter: elders, widows, families. They are the outward side of the Christian walk, not the soul's inner dealings with God.
- Meaning. The word here means an enemy has nothing to lay hold of. It describes a life that gives an opponent no handle.
- Audience. The goal runs two ways at once: pleasing to God, and clear of reproach in front of men.
- Occasion. The charge answers the widow of verse 6 who lives for pleasure. Enjoying God and His Son lifts the heart above the world, and that is what leaves conduct without reproach.
But if any one does not provide for his own, and specially for those of [his] house, he has denied the faith, and is worse than the unbeliever.
Paul is telling Timothy which widows the church should support. Here he puts the duty on the family first, turning a plain matter of money and care into a test of faith, with a warning that a believer can end up worse than an unbeliever.
The sentence is not a general saying about generosity. It lands on a specific person: the relative of someone in need, who has the means to help and declines.
Verse 8 refers to the person we have just seen to be responsible for his close relatives, including widows. If he is able at all, he should provide for his own near relatives who need care, and above all for those of his own house. If he neglects this duty, his life denies the healthy truth of Christianity. His practice contradicts what he claims, since the verse speaks of someone claiming to belong to Christ. That makes him worse than an unbeliever. It is hypocrisy in fact.
The duty has two circles. "His own" reaches wider than the household, and the household is the closer, stronger claim.
Why should neglecting your family count as denying the faith? One writer answers by pointing to what God has already given.
To neglect your relatives, and above all those who make up your household, is to have denied the faith. In the apostle's strong words, such a person is worse than an unbeliever. Unfeeling selfishness is a denial of the faith; for what has not God given to us in His own Son? Anyone who confesses such grace must show fruit that matches the Christ he believes in.
The same writer answers two excuses at once — selfish interest, and the claim that Christianity is too high for such duties:
Woe to those who make light of these commands! Some are driven by the lowest self-interest. Others claim that Christianity is too high to include these natural relationships. At the root of both you will find self, not Christ.
Why "worse than an unbeliever"? Writers point to what an unbeliever already does without any Christian claim at all.
If anyone does not provide for his own house, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever, for an unbeliever usually recognizes this duty.
Christianity does not float above these ties; it puts its stamp on them.
For a Christian to fail to provide for his own, and above all for those of his own house, is to sink below what is natural. It also denies the Christian faith, which approves these natural relationships and teaches us to respect them.
A man can win praise in public and still fall under this verse. One writer names that gap:
Verse 8 condemns the man who dodges or neglects this duty in very severe terms. That shows how serious the sin is in God's sight. Some men are famous for their godliness in public, yet this verse brands them worse than an unbeliever for the lack of that same godliness at home.
Another writer draws a picture of a man who is faithful at work and heartless at home:
Suppose an officer in charge of army supplies. Every day he gives every soldier his proper rations, from the general down to the drummer boy. Yet he leaves his wife and children to starve. Would anyone call that proof of his honesty and faithfulness in serving the queen and the country? I should think, his queen would be the very last to praise him for it.
Providing is more than paying the bills. The head of a house stands in God's place there.
A man of God should rule his house for God, in His name and for His glory. The head of a Christian household is the representative of God... If he neglects the place God has set him over, he shows that he does not know the One he is called to represent, and is not like Him.
Even keen zeal for God's cause can become an excuse to shortchange the family. One writer names the danger:
In our wish to build a stronger wall between ourselves and the world, do we sacrifice the real welfare of our own families? Should we be surprised when the enemy taunts us for being so inconsistent?
- Nearest first. The duty starts with "his own" and narrows to "his own house." Relatives who can help must carry the load before the church does.
- Nature first. To fail here is to sink below what an unbeliever manages. The faith approves family ties; it never lifts a believer above them.
- Faith denied. Selfishness contradicts the message you claim. Anyone who confesses what God gave in His Son must show fruit to match.
- Home before platform. A public name for godliness does not cover neglect at home. When a claim and a life clash, that is hypocrisy.
- God represented. The head of a house stands there for God. Neglect shows he is not like the One he represents, and hands the world a reason to mock.
Let a widow be put upon the list, being of not less than sixty years, [having been] wife of one man,
Paul moves from the general duty of caring for widows to one practical step: the assembly kept a list. This verse gives the conditions for that list — an age, a marriage history — and raises the question of what the list was for.
The point is not who may receive help. It is who goes on the assembly's own record as its ongoing responsibility.
We understand from this that only those who match the description given here were to be formally linked with the assembly. That is, they had a recognised right to regular support. Of course, the saints might help others privately, or the Church might help them from time to time. But only these were to go on the list of those with undeniable claims on the funds of the assembly. If God's wisdom, as expressed here, had guided the Church in this matter, it would have saved much confusion.
The number is not arbitrary. It marks the age when a woman could no longer earn her own living. Older translations read "enrolled" here as "taken into the number".
To be "taken into the number" would mean becoming a regular dependent of the assembly. This was not to happen if she were under sixty years of age, for she could support herself by working. Of course, this is not a rigid law. There would be exceptions where disease or accident had left her permanently unable to work. On the other hand, a younger widow may be clearly in need. The assembly may sometimes have to relieve her, even though it ought not to support her regularly.
The phrase points to faithfulness in marriage. Commentators are careful about which cases it rules out.
Fidelity is of course the point in view in her having been the wife of one man. If, after her first husband's death, she had remarried and been widowed a second time, this would not disqualify her (1 Cor. 7:39), but cases of bigamy, or of divorce and remarriage, are evidently in view here.
Chapter 3 lays a similar requirement on overseers and deacons. One writer holds that the wording differs and that the two verses answer different situations.
1 Timothy 3:2, 12 is not, in my opinion, parallel with 1 Timothy 5:9. Remember that in those days nothing was more common among the Gentiles than for a man to have more than one wife. Many of the early converts were doubtless in that position… 1 Timothy 5:9 is not a question of the married but of widows. So the phrase is quite different: "having been the wife of one man" (compare verse 11).
after_note: DELETE
Everything named here — her age, her marriage, the good works Paul goes on to list — belongs to a life already lived.
The apostle seems to be thinking only of the widows the assembly must put on its list of care and generosity. So he speaks of her past life and ways, not of future duties great or small.
The chapter does not treat every widow alike, and this verse marks the narrowest circle of the three.
So the widows described fall into three levels: first, widows in general; second, widows who are truly widows; third, widows on the list of the assembly's special recognition. But no trace appears of an organised class of widows, still less an ordained one, such as we know existed later.
What is absent from the qualifications is as telling as what is present.
This Scripture shows in a blessed way how much a godly woman can do that pleases God and helps the Lord's people. But what it leaves out is as striking as the good works it lists. It says nothing about teaching or preaching, or indeed anything that would bring the woman into public prominence, contrary to the order of God's house.
The list has a limit. It is for those with no family to fall back on.
There may, however, be needy people in the Christian circle who have no relatives to provide for them. Such should be put on the list of those who can rightly be cared for by the assembly. Even so, we must take care not to use the house of God as if it were merely an institution for supporting needy people. Grace may indeed at times help the most abandoned. Here it is a question of who is suitable for a list of those who receive regular help from the Lord's people.
- Enrolled — a written list of women who receive regular support from the assembly. It never limits private or occasional kindness to anyone in need.
- Sixty — the age when she could no longer support herself by working. Sickness or accident can make exceptions.
- One husband — the point is faithfulness. Remarriage after a husband's death does not disqualify her. Commentators read this phrase differently from the wording about overseers in chapter 3.
- Backward-looking — every qualification describes a life already lived. The list gives care, not a job. There is no ordained order of widows and nothing public in view.
- Family first — relatives carry the duty before the assembly does. That frees the church to help those who have no one, without becoming a relief institution.
borne witness to in good works, if she have brought up children, if she have exercised hospitality, if she have washed saints' feet, if she have imparted relief to the distressed, if she have diligently followed every good work.
Paul tells Timothy which widows the church should put on its list for regular support. His test is not need alone, but a life already proved by good works.
The list is a register of widows the church takes on as its own responsibility. The limit on it is deliberate.
So the apostle commands that no widow under sixty years old should be taken onto the list (vv. 9, 10). We understand from this that only those who matched to the description given here were to be formally linked with the assembly — that is, recognised as entitled to regular support. The saints might of course help others privately, and the church might help them from time to time. But only these were put down on the list of those who had undeniable claims upon the funds of the assembly.
The boundary is not a wall. Commentators note room for exceptions where circumstances demand them.
On the other hand, the assembly may sometimes need to relieve a younger widow who is clearly in need, even though it ought not to support her regularly.
Age alone does not qualify anyone. Her own life has to prove she is fit for the church's help.
Grace may indeed, on occasion, help the most abandoned. Here the question is who is suitable for a list of those who receive regular help from the Lord's people. Such women must, by their lives, have proved they are fit for that help. If her health is normal, the one suited for the list must be old enough that she could no longer work for her living. She must have been the wife of one husband, and people must speak well of her because of her good works.
The good report has to cover home life as well as service.
Age, in and by itself, does not give the needed qualification. She must not have been married twice, and she must have a good name both for her home duties and for her activities in the Lord's service.
One writer walks through the list. The children she raised need not be her own, and hospitality on its own is not yet a Christian mark.
The apostle then insists on her general character in good works. He does not forget the raising of children (not necessarily her own), or the showing of hospitality to strangers. Even this by itself would not carry the Christian stamp. So the apostle adds that lowly act which our Lord Himself gave a deeper meaning in John 13 — washing the saints' feet. That blessed example was sure to give this act a great impulse, though sadly it has been turned into vanity or into the badge of a party in days of decline. Then comes relief for people in distress of any kind, and steady diligence in whatever called for active kindness.
This clause is not about fault-finding. Writers tie it to the upper room in John 13, and read it as bringing relief to tired believers.
Feet-washing is essentially His own service, yet He often carries it out through others. So we are put under the duty, and given the privilege, of washing one another's feet. It is a blessed service. We do not carry it out by trying to correct one another (however necessary that is at times), still less by finding fault with one another. We carry it out by ministering Christ to one another, for only a ministry of Christ will bring refreshment to a weary soul. Years after the scene in the upper room, the Apostle Paul tells us that one of the qualifications of a godly widow is that she has washed the feet of the saints. This surely does not mean she was merely someone who rebuked evil or corrected faults. It means she refreshed the drooping spirits of the saints by coming from Christ with a ministry of Christ.
Nothing in the passage installs these women in a role or an order. The apostle looks backwards, not forwards.
There is a total absence in the context of any such functions, whatever scholars may argue from ancient writers, Greek or Latin, in order to support the idea that female superintendents are in question. The apostle appears to have in view only those widows the assembly must put on the list of its care and generosity. So he speaks of her past life and ways, not of future duties, great or small.
These works are within reach of every believer.
Not all are qualified to be teachers or to hold church office, but all are qualified to minister to the Lord in ministering to one another. There may be those whose ministry will be in showing hospitality and contributing to the needs of the saints.
- Register. The list meant ongoing support from the church. The saints could still help other widows privately or now and then.
- Reputation. The qualification is a life already proved by works, not age or need on its own.
- Range. The works counted are plain ones: raising children (not always her own), hospitality, refreshing the saints, and relieving the afflicted.
- Refreshment. Washing the saints' feet points back to John 13. It means bringing Christ to weary believers, not correcting or finding fault.
- Record. Paul describes her past ways, not a future office. He sets up no order of women officials.
But younger widows decline; for when they grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry,
Paul has just described the widow the assembly could put on its support list: sixty years old, with a life of good works behind her. Now he turns to the younger widows and tells Timothy to decline them. His reason is not money. It is what happens to a heart that drifts from Christ.
These chapters do not deal with the inner life of the soul. They deal with what is fitting in public view.
The subject here is always what outwardly fits an upright walk, what is proper, whether about the position of people or about the world. The apostle speaks of elders, of widows, of what is fitting for younger widows... Nothing here is inward, nothing about the soul's relationship with God. Everything points to the public testimony that suited the position of men in this world before God.
The refusal is about a list. The younger widow was not counted in the group the assembly supported.
The younger widows, on the other hand, were to be refused. That is, they did not count as belonging to the class of widows proper. They might have taken the place for themselves as a place of honour, but without faithfulness equal to the path it implied.
Note also who is in view. "Younger" here is not young women in general, and the older English versions blurred it:
It seems strange that the English versions since Tyndale added "women" after "younger", for only widows are meant... The Greek form makes it unnecessary to add "females", and the context is decisive: the apostle speaks of none but those who had lost their husbands.
Notice what settles the question in the apostle's mind.
It is of deep value to see what weighs in the apostle's mind: Christ, not moral or practical or personal considerations... He judges the young widows by their relationship to Christ. You would expect them, of all people, after their own experience of sorrow, to feel that the time is short and that the fashion of this world is passing away. But they lose sight of Christ and His dealings with them, and look out for themselves.
Where the ESV says their passions draw them away from Christ, older translations read "grow wanton against Christ". The desire to marry is not the sin. The problem is the spirit behind it.
Supporting younger widows out of the assembly's funds is likely to harm the state of their own souls. It may not always be the case, but it is the general tendency. To grow wanton against Christ is the exact opposite of the submissive, quiet spirit that should mark a widow. It is bold, brazen, self-willed. Wanting to marry in that state is certainly dangerous — not that wanting to marry is wrong in itself, for Paul recommends it almost at once (v. 14).
The phrase points back to what their grief once produced.
Their "first faith" probably means this. When they lost their husbands, the Lord used their grief to draw them near to Himself, and they gave themselves entirely to Him and His service. But they lose heart for Christ, and so they wish to marry. In that state of soul they cannot lean on Christ for all the support they need. So they turn with longing to the help of human affections and a human arm. An unsatisfied heart is the source of much sin.
This gives the verse a reach far beyond widows:
It is possible not only to lose our first love, but to cast off our first faith, which at the start of our Christian life made Christ the great Object.
This warning lands hardest on those who are most sure of themselves.
Failure in faith brings serious consequences on those who bear the Lord's name... Those who profess Christ, when they take a true position and then turn away from it, fall lower than others. None fall so far as those who pride themselves on being faithful. Faith alone keeps up lowly dependence on the Lord. The people the apostle is writing about have cast off the freshness of faith, and they slip lower and lower... How often does great evil follow from what seems a little departure?
- Refuse — the word withholds a place on the assembly's support list. The younger widow was not counted among the "widows proper".
- Younger — the Greek limits this to widows, not to young women in general. Translations that added "women" widened what Paul had narrowed.
- Wanton — the fault is the bold, self-willed spirit. Marrying again is not the fault; Paul urges it four verses later.
- First faith — the wholehearted devotion that sorrow had drawn out of them. When the heart loses Christ as its Object, it reaches for a human arm instead.
- Drift — an unsatisfied heart is the source of much sin. Those who cast off the freshness of faith slip lower and lower. A small departure rarely stays small.
being guilty, because they have cast off their first faith.
Paul has just told Timothy which widows the church should support, and here he gives his reason for turning the younger ones away. Two phrases carry the weight — the "condemnation" they incur, and the "former faith" they abandon.
Older English Bibles rendered this word "damnation." One writer lists this verse among the many places where that English word simply meant judgment:
The English New Testament often uses "damnation" to mean judgment, as in Matthew 23:14; Mark 12:40; Luke 20:47; Romans 3:8; and 1 Timothy 5:12. That is also the sense in 1 Corinthians 11:29, where it stands in contrast with being condemned along with the world. Even if this "judgment" were everlasting condemnation, the word still means judgment.
Another writer applies the same point to these widows:
The church was not to support the younger widows at its own expense. With no settled work to do, they might drift in heart from Christ and come under judgment — not "damnation," which is too strong a word.
Commentators differ on what this earlier faith was. One ties it to the devotion born in fresh grief:
Their "first faith" probably means this. When their husbands died, the Lord drew them through their grief close to Himself, and they gave themselves wholly to Him and His service. But then they lose heart for Christ. They want to marry, because in that state of soul they cannot lean on Christ for all the support they need. So they turn with longing to human affection and human strength.
Another links it to the warning about losing our first love, and widens it to every Christian:
It is thus possible not only to lose our first love, but to cast off our first faith which, at the start of our Christian life, made Christ the great Object.
Paul does not weigh these women by social convention or by what looks sensible. One writer renders the verse "having as accusation that they slighted their first faith," and points out whose name the whole standard hangs on — while ruling out the idea that some formal vow was broken:
It is of deep value to see that Christ, and not moral, sensible, or personal reasons, weighs most in the apostle's mind... The young widows are judged by their relationship to Christ. But they lose sight of Christ and His dealings with them, and look out for themselves. Instead of seeking to please Him, they grow bold and self-willed against Him, and cannot rest until they return to the married life that had just closed for them. Nothing about vows or office appears here — only what suits a younger widow who is looking for Christ, as all believers are called to wait for Him.
Verse 13 follows directly from verse 12, and the same writer shows the chain: faith goes first, then behaviour follows it downhill — with a warning that Christians who fall from a professed position fall further than others do:
But professing Christians who take a true position and then turn from it fall lower than others do. None fall further than those who pride themselves on their faithfulness. Faith alone keeps up lowly dependence on the Lord. Those of whom the apostle treats, having cast off their freshness of faith, slip lower and lower... How often does great evil follow from what seems a little departure? To believe the word of God is to be warned and kept by grace.
Marriage itself is not the offence — Paul recommends it two verses later. The danger is the state of heart, and one writer draws the surprising practical lesson that kindness can get in God's way:
Wanting to marry while in such a state is dangerous. Wanting to marry is not wrong in itself, for Paul recommends it two verses later (v. 14). But a widow with no healthy work to support herself may drift into casting off her first faith. She gives up her earlier confidence in the God who had blessed her with a husband, and who in wisdom had taken her husband away again. Faith stays steady only when God teaches it through the wise government of His hand. Well-meant efforts by others to relieve her material needs may defeat this work of God.
- First faith. Grief once drove these women to Christ and made Him their one object. The verse names their giving up of that early confidence.
- Not damnation. The word here means judgment, or guilt. Writers agree that the old translation "damnation" says far too much.
- Christ is the measure. These women are judged by how they stand toward Christ. No vow or office is in view — only what suits a widow waiting for Him.
- Downward drift. Cast-off faith does not stand still. Those who slip keep slipping, because faith alone keeps up lowly dependence on the Lord.
- Kind help can harm. Help given too easily can remove the very pressure God uses to teach faith. So Paul points the younger widows to marriage instead of the support list.
And, at the same time, they learn also [to be] idle, going about to people's houses; and not only idle, but also gossipers and meddlers, speaking things not becoming.
Commentary for this verse has not been generated yet.
I will therefore that the younger marry, bear children, rule the house, give no occasion to the adversary in respect of reproach.
Paul has just described younger widows who drift into idleness, gossip and meddling. Here he names the cure — marriage, children, a home to run — and ties it to something larger: giving the enemy nothing to say.
The opening words are stronger than a preference. Paul uses a different Greek verb here from the one used a few verses earlier for the widows' own wish to marry.
The two words differ like this. Thelo means to exercise the will — the will that comes from inclination or desire. Boulomai is the will that follows deliberation, and involves a carefully weighed purpose. In 1 Timothy 5:11, about the younger widows not being put on the list, the word is thelo — they will, their desire is, to marry. In 1 Timothy 5:14 it is Paul's deliberate judgment and will that they should: "I will therefore."
Yet a judgment is not a rule that binds every case. Paul handles marriage the same way elsewhere.
Just as in 1 Corinthians 7 the apostle tells us what his judgment is, he does not lay everything down as a commandment (verses 25, 40). It is the same here. And it was most painful to one who loved the assembly that "already some have turned aside after Satan." "She is free to be married to whom she will — only in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39).
Most English Bibles add the word "women" after "younger," and commentators differ on whether that is right. One view says the addition is unnecessary.
It seems odd that English versions since Tyndale have added "women" after "younger." Only widows are meant, as Wycliffe rightly translated it. The Rheims version seems exact, since it adds neither word. The Greek form makes it unnecessary to add "females," and the context settles it: the apostle speaks only of those who had lost their husbands.
Others read the term more widely, while still keeping widows in view. They also read the verse as a direction, not a restriction.
The term "younger women" is perhaps general, though with special reference to widows. The home is the appointed place of service for all such, if they would be in subjection to the Lord, and in relative shelter from the snares of Satan.
The instruction answers a real danger: the empty day.
The younger widows were not to be supported at the expense of the church. Otherwise, with no definite occupation, they might decline in heart from Christ and come under judgment — not "damnation," which is too strong a word. Their idleness would then surely produce tale-bearing and general interference in other people's affairs. That is most disastrous to the testimony of God. Idleness in the twenty-first century produces exactly the same crop of evil fruit as it did in the first century.
The command about the household is one Greek verb. Its matching noun is the word used for the father of the house.
Translated word for word, I suppose it would read, "Be the house-mistress." It is one single word, a verb. The matching noun appears twelve times, always in the first three Gospels and always of the father. It is translated "house-master," "master of the house," and so on. One paraphrase of the thought in Timothy puts it well: "It implies a queenly rule, and would not set aside the kingly rule of the house-master himself." They rule together as king and queen do, in the little kingdom God has entrusted to their care.
Writers who take this as the normal pattern still leave room for exceptions.
There may be exceptional cases in which a Christian woman, having no special home duties, may devote herself to outside work with real benefit to many. But such cases are few and far between.
The last clause reaches past the family to the whole house of God.
Elders, widows, younger women — all are to remember that they form part of the house of God. And in God's house nothing is to be allowed that gives the adversary an occasion to speak with scorn.
- Will. "I will" is Paul's weighed judgment. A different Greek verb marks it off from the widows' own wish to remarry.
- Not law. It is judgment, not commandment. In 1 Corinthians 7 he speaks the same way: a widow is free to marry whom she will, only in the Lord.
- Cure. Marriage, children and a household answer the idleness that had bred gossip and meddling.
- Rule. "Manage their households" is one verb meaning to be house-mistress — a queenly rule beside the husband's, not instead of it.
- Guard. It all aims at one end: give the adversary nothing to pick up and use against God's house.
For already some have turned aside after Satan.
Paul closes his instructions about younger widows with a reason, and it is not a warning about what might happen — it had already happened. A rule about church order becomes a warning about drift — out of Christ's service, into the enemy's.
The word "already" points back to people who had ignored the counsel just given. Older translations read "turned aside after Satan" where the ESV reads "strayed", and the writers below use that older wording. One writer ties this failure to the instructions just given. The people involved may not have seen where they were heading.
By neglecting these instructions, some had indeed already turned aside after Satan. They might not admit or realise how serious their course was. But growing careless or self-willed toward Christ clearly leads to this: Satan deceives the soul, and it turns aside to the devil's temptations.
The problem was not one dramatic sin. It was having nothing to do, and the appetite for comfort that grows in that empty space.
For some had already turned aside after Satan. They gave in to the temptations of idleness and self-indulgence, and Satan will use those to the full.
Another writer traces where that empty time leads, and notes that nothing has changed since:
Their idleness would certainly produce a habit of gossip and general interference in other people's affairs, and that does great damage to the testimony of God. Idleness in the twenty-first century produces the same crop of evil fruit as it did in the first century.
"After Satan" is strong language. One writer reads the whole letter as a battle report, and he gives these people a soldier's name: deserters.
The idlers, gossips, and busybodies — the people who misuse private letters and betray every confidence — are like deserters. They do not merely fail in Christian duty and faithfulness. They are busy and eager soldiers in the devil's ranks.
The same writer describes the enemy's method. Satan does not attack the whole church at once:
Satan's tactics at first leave the main body untouched. Then, by clever moves, he isolates no fewer than seven small groups and cuts them off from faithful Christian testimony.
Before the outward wandering came an inward shift. Paul weighs these women by one thing: their relationship to Christ.
It is of deep value to see that Christ, and not moral, practical, or personal considerations, is what weighs with the apostle. So it should be with us. He judges the young widows by their relationship to Christ… But they lose sight of Christ and His dealings with them, and they look out for themselves.
The slide starts with something small, and it does not stop where it starts. It also runs deeper in people who once stood in the right place.
But professing Christians who take a true position and then swerve from it fall lower than others. None fall further than those who pride themselves on their faithfulness. Faith alone keeps up lowly dependence on the Lord. The people the apostle is describing have cast off their freshness of faith, and they slip lower and lower… How often does great evil follow from what seems a little departure? To believe the word of God is to be warned by it and kept by grace.
Verse 15 is the last step in a series the chapter has been tracing, one stage at a time.
The warnings in this chapter make it clear how far a believer can fall. He can sink into habits of self-indulgence (verse 6). He can act in a way that is worse than an unbeliever and so deny the faith (verse 8). He can grow self-willed against Christ and so cast off his first faith (verse 11). He can become an idle wanderer from house to house, gossiping and meddling in the affairs of others (verse 13). And he can turn aside after Satan (verse 15).
- Already. Paul is not warning about a possibility. Some had already gone, and that is what makes the instruction urgent.
- Idleness. The road did not begin with scandal. Having nothing to do bred self-indulgence, gossip and meddling, and the enemy used it to the full.
- Christ. The inward cause was losing sight of Christ and looking out for self. Faith alone keeps up lowly dependence on the Lord.
- Desertion. To turn aside after Satan is more than failing in Christian duty. It means serving in the enemy's ranks.
- Descent. The chapter maps the stages: self-indulgence, denying the faith, casting off first faith, idle wandering, turning aside. Catch the small departure, and it never becomes a long one.
If any believing man or woman have widows, let them impart relief to them, and let not the assembly be charged, that it may impart relief to those [that are] widows indeed.
Paul has just told Timothy which widows the assembly should support and which it should not. Verse 16 closes the subject with a rule about money: a believer with a widow in the family pays, so the assembly's funds stay free for women who have no one.
The verse sets an order of responsibility.
But if a widow did need support, her own relatives were responsible for this first. That left the assembly more able to relieve those who were widows indeed — alone in the world and godly in character.
This is not the church shrugging off the poor.
God never meant the family to be set aside in this world, nor to give to the Church the work which rightly belonged to the family. We should dread any weakening of family ties as a sign of the final apostasy. All other giving must come after you have met the needs of your own relatives. This is emphatic, and no so-called work or service for the Lord should set it aside.
Verse 16 adds a case the earlier verses did not cover: a believer connected to a widow who is not her child. One writer also weighs a manuscript question here — some copies read "believing woman," others "believing man or woman."
The external evidence for the shorter reading in verse 16, "believing woman," is so strong that it sways the chief modern critics and revisers. But the sense that results is strange and unsatisfactory. Why should the relief of a young widow fall on a believing woman in particular?… The direction in verse 16 is in no way a mere repetition of the principles laid down in verses 4 and 8. In the earlier case, if a widow had children or descendants, they came before anyone else. They had to learn devoted care for their own family, in return for what their parents had done. Verse 8 presses this duty of providing so plainly that it calls failure a denial of the faith, and even worse than an unbeliever.
Either reading gives the same duty: a believer with widows in the family relieves them.
A limited list is not meanness. It guards what the church is meant to be.
There may, however, be needy people in the Christian circle who have no relatives to provide for them. Such people belong on the list of those the assembly can rightly care for. Even so, one must take care not to use the house of God as if it were merely an institution for supporting needy people.
Being left off the list did not mean being left without help.
The saints might of course help others in private, and the Church might help them from time to time. But only these went on the list of those who had undeniable claims on the funds of the assembly. If the wisdom of God, expressed here, had governed in this matter, the Church would have avoided much difficulty.
Relieving the assembly has a point: it can then care for "those who are truly widows" — the "widows indeed" of older translations. Such a woman is more than a woman whose husband has died. She is not a burden the church carries; she carries the church.
Where, then, are the "widows indeed" of the present day? … God calls those who are truly widows to give themselves to fasting and prayers. In this way they may bear up the whole Church with their intercessions, and so kindle afresh in many hearts the blessed hope of the Lord's return.
Timothy is long gone. Does his instruction go with him?
Timothy was to watch that widows did not live at the expense of the Church when they had relatives who could support them. That remains a rule for the relatives of widows, even though Timothy is no longer here. The instruction addressed to him is a means of knowing the will of God about those people.
- Family first. A believer with widows in the household relieves them. The church must not take over work that belongs to the family.
- Not merely relief. The house of God is not an institution for supporting the needy; only those with no relatives belong on the list.
- Freed for the desolate. The freed funds exist for a purpose — the widow who is alone in the world and godly in character.
- She gives back. The assembly supports her, and she bears up the whole church in prayer. The rule still binds families today.