but have been gentle in the midst of you, as a nurse would cherish her own children.
The seventh verse of this chapter turns a corner: after listing everything Paul refused to do among the Thessalonians — flatter, exploit, chase reputation — he says what he actually was. The picture he reaches for is a nursing mother, and it raises the question of how one of the boldest men in the New Testament describes his own work in the softest terms available. (Older translations read "as a nurse cherishes her own children" where the ESV has "like a nursing mother taking care of her own children"; the commentators quoted below use the older wording.)
The word "but" ties this verse back to the rights Paul had just laid down. He had rights he could have used. He set them aside, and his motive is the point.
What moved the Apostle was not selfishness looking for personal gain, but the mind of Christ, which forgets self and serves others in love. … He looked for no glory from men, and would take nothing from God's people, even though he had the right to. He was moved by love that sought only the good of others — love that did not demand from them but gave to them; love that was gentle among them, just as a nurse cares tenderly for her children.
Paul does not just say a nurse. He says a nurse with her own children, and that detail carries the weight.
The picture of a parent, even a mother, is not enough to convey the tender care of a love whose source is God Himself. Babies need a nurse, and not every mother is one. The right picture here is a nurse caring tenderly for her own children — not a hired woman looking after someone else's child.
Gentleness is not the first word you expect for such a forceful man. One writer sets Paul's manner beside the mob violence in the same city, and explains what "cherish" means.
We may find it hard to imagine how this extremely forceful man could have been gentle, "like a nursing mother taking care of her own children," but so it was. Physical force is usually brutal. Spiritual force is gentle. Thessalonica saw plenty of the first kind, when the unbelieving Jews took "some wicked men of the rabble" and "set the city in an uproar" — yet it all came to nothing. Paul's gentleness, by contrast, left lasting results… He cherished them; that is, he kept them warm. And how could he do that unless his own love was warm?
A few verses on, Paul swaps the picture for a father. The two images are not rivals; they track the growth of the people he is caring for.
Here we have the lovely picture of the apostle's grace in watching over these young Christians, and he shows it in two forms. First, while they were still newborn, he cherished them as a nurse. Then, as they grew a little, he went on "working night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God." … As they grew, the way he served their need changed. But the love that urged them on as a father was the very same love that had cared for them as a nurse.
A nurse watches over particular things. One writer lists them, and applies them to everyone who serves God's children.
The nurse gives careful thought to the air around the child, its food, its clothing, and the present state of its health. Would we not do well to think about these things more fully than we have done so far? … We are among God's children to serve Him as nurses of those who are dear to Him. We serve Him only so far as we serve them (as Paul did) out of what we have learned of Him for ourselves.
The same writer identifies the clothing as warmth against a cold world:
He had learnt the kind of food which had heretofore and was still sustaining him in it; he had learnt what it was to wrap himself around, and hence to wrap all of them around, in the blessed conscious warmth of DIVINE LOVE. Thus he acted the part of a nurse to them in this cold, cold world.
This is not just Paul's story. The same care belongs to ordinary Christians.
Often in the nursery an older child will assume an almost parental care of a younger child. It is a happy thing when the same happens in the things of the Lord. One Christian sets out to care for someone a little younger in grace and growth than himself, and the whole atmosphere of the church becomes one of kind care for the young.
- Not taking — giving. Paul had the right to be supported and refused it. This gentleness is what love looks like when a man lays self-interest down.
- Own, not hired. The nurse cherishes her own children. This is not paid duty over another's baby but love whose source is God Himself.
- Cherish means keep warm. Spiritual force is gentle. Only a warm love can keep anyone warm.
- Nurse, then father. The same love changes shape as people grow. It cradles infants, then urges them on as a father does.
- Your turn in the nursery. Young believers need food, warmth, and watchful care. Any older believer can give them.
Thus, yearning over you, we had found our delight in having imparted to you not only the glad tidings of God, but our own lives also, because ye had become beloved of us.
Paul is defending the way he and his companions worked in Thessalonica. This verse gives his answer: they gave a message, and then gave themselves.
The verse builds on the picture of a nurse in the line before it. One commentator asks which kind of nurse Paul means.
The figure of a parent, even a mother, fails to convey the tender care of a love which has its spring in God Himself. Babies need a nurse, and not every mother is one. The picture used here is a nurse cherishing her own children, not a hired worker looking after someone else's children.
(Some writers quoted here say "our own souls" where the ESV says "our own selves.")
They gave the gospel freely. One writer names the second gift, and the holy life that went with it.
In the apostle himself, at Thessalonica, Christian life reached its full growth in love and in holiness. He had been among them in tenderness, like a mother cherishing her children. He was ready to give them not only the gospel, but even his own life, because they were so dear to him. He had been at the same time holy and blameless in all his conduct. What energy of life and love, springing up by the power of God! It looked past every consequence except the blessing of God's chosen ones and the glory of God.
Another writer sets this giving beside the rights Paul refused to claim.
They had sought nothing from men. They had not insisted on rights that were clearly theirs. Instead they found delight in giving what they had to give — yes, and their own souls with it. This was not simply righteousness. It was love that did not seek its own, and in that love they worked, backing up all their teaching by example.
This affection had a starting point. One commentator traces it back to the day they believed Paul's message.
Paul had come to Thessalonica a complete stranger to those he now addresses. He had no natural tie with them at all. He preached the gospel to them. They received his testimony and were born of God. New affections at once existed between them — new ties which death could not sever.
Another writer names a second tie, formed by the service itself.
There is a bond which binds believers together… There is a special tie between the worker and those who have gained help and profit from his service. These believers had once been Gentiles and idol worshippers. Now they had become dear to Paul, Silas and Timothy, who were willing to give them not only the gospel of God, but their own souls as well.
This love comes from God. But we see it here in a man who shares our nature, and that is what makes it so useful to us.
What a picture of gracious interest in souls! And we see it, not in Him who has the full expression of divine love, but in a man with the same nature and feelings as ours. We must always look for the perfect form of this love in Christ alone. Yet it is good for us to see the life and love of Christ in a man who had to fight the very same evils that we have in our nature.
Paul did not write this way to every church. One commentator shows where the same words would not fit, and why.
But beyond this, their affection for the Thessalonians was such that they were willing not only to give them the gospel freely, but to pour out their whole soul for them. He could not speak this way to the Galatians or the Corinthians. In each case their own clear reserve about the truth demanded that he hold something back. How can the Lord's servant be free in his spirit with those who compromise the truth of his Master?
One writer draws a hard line between a public speaker and a true evangelist.
The man who is satisfied with the public platform is not an evangelist, however well he may speak there. The true evangelist may have a stammering tongue and broken words. He goes after men because he loves their souls. He carries the good news to them because it thrills his own soul like a trumpet call. He will win them for Christ at any cost to himself, because Christ has become precious beyond words to him.
- Message. They gave the gospel of God first, and gave it freely. But that gift alone was never enough for love.
- Messenger. With the message went the man: not only what he had to give, but his own life along with it.
- Motive. Behind it all is a nurse cherishing her own children, not a hired worker minding someone else's.
- Bond. Strangers became beloved through the gospel. Those ties began at conversion, and death cannot cut them.
- Mirror. Paul poured himself out on those who welcomed the truth without reserve. That love still tests every preacher who settles for a platform.
For ye remember, brethren, our labour and toil working night and day, not to be chargeable to any one of you, we have preached to you the glad tidings of God.
Paul reminds the Thessalonians of what they saw for themselves: the man who brought them the gospel also worked for his own bread. Why would a preacher with a clear right to support refuse it, and what did that refusal teach them?
One commentator compares Paul with Nehemiah, who would not come down from his great work.
Paul worked with his own hands in Thessalonica, and in Corinth too, from where he wrote to them. He did it so that he would be a burden to no one. Yet if anyone was entitled to say, like Nehemiah, "I am doing a great work and I cannot come down," it was the apostle. In another sense he really did come down, and he did his great work all the better for it. There was never a greater mind than his, and yet he worked with his hands night and day during his short stay among the Thessalonians.
His hands covered more than his own needs:
What he did was work with his own hands by night as well as by day. He supported himself, so that he would not be any burden upon them. He refers to this again in his second letter. And from Acts 20:34 we learn something astonishing. He met not only his own needs this way, but also the needs of those who were with him.
Was Paul owed support? One writer lists everything he did, and answers plainly.
Look at the splendid passage in 1 Corinthians 9. There the blessed apostle proves his right to support beyond all question. Then he gives it up completely: "I have made no use of any of these rights." He worked with his hands. He worked with labour and toil night and day, so that he would not be a charge or burden to anyone. He coveted no one's silver or gold or clothing. He travelled, he preached, he visited from house to house. He was the hard-working apostle, the earnest evangelist, the diligent pastor. He had the care of all the churches. Was he not entitled to support? Certainly he was.
So why not take what was his? One writer gives two reasons.
On the one hand, this devoted servant would not assert his rights, for fear he should be misunderstood. On the other hand, some of his converts had only just been rescued from the deepest darkness. He felt they needed an object lesson in him — how to earn an honest living. He says to the Thessalonians, "It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate."
Because he asked nothing, his daily life carried the same message as his sermons.
In his daily life, the blessed apostle showed the gospel he preached. He lived the gospel. He did not demand or claim anything from them. He was not a burden to them. He preached to them the precious gospel of God freely; and so that he might do so, he worked with labour and toil, night and day. He used no high-sounding words about himself. He never talked up his office, his authority, his gifts, his preaching, or his wonderful deeds in other places.
His care took two forms as they grew.
First, when they were at their most infant stage, he cherished them like a nurse. When they grew a little, he continued his course: "we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God." As they grew, the way he met their need changed. But the same love that exhorted them as a father had cared for them as a nurse.
Tent-making did not lower Paul. One writer draws a conclusion for anyone who works with their hands.
We may well marvel that this extraordinary man could find any time for his tent-making. But somehow he did it, and so he made the gospel of Christ free of charge. And yet the Lord had ordained as a general rule that those who preach the gospel should live by the gospel. It is very evident that manual labour is honourable in the sight of God.
- Right — Paul proved that gospel workers deserve support. Then he declined it for himself.
- Refused — He gave it up so he would not be misunderstood, and so new converts would see how to earn an honest living.
- Worked — Night and day with his own hands, he met not only his own needs but those of his companions.
- Matched — Because he asked nothing, his daily life preached the same free gospel his mouth did.
- Loved — Nurse, worker, father: the form of his service changed as they grew, but the love behind it never did.
*Ye* [are] witnesses, and God, how piously and righteously and blamelessly we have conducted ourselves with you that believe
Paul has just reminded the Thessalonians of the nights he worked with his hands, so that his preaching would cost them nothing. Now he calls two witnesses to the whole record: the converts themselves, and God. That raises a question for every preacher and every believer. Can my life stand as evidence for what I say?
The claim is bold, and it is public. Paul's proof is not a statement about himself. It is work they watched — labour with his own hands so that no one carried his cost.
Paul worked with his own hands in Thessalonica, as he did in Corinth, where he was when he wrote to them. He did it so that he might be a burden to no one… He sums up his appeal to the believers and to God Himself. Only a man who trained himself to keep a conscience free of offence toward God and men at all times could make such an appeal.
The verse uses three words: holy, righteous and blameless. Older translations read "holily, justly and unblameably," and the writers below use that older wording. They take the three as covering the whole of life, not as three ways of saying one thing. One reading maps them onto God, other people, and self.
Notice in verse 10 the solemn appeal again, as in verse 5. Paul points to their own knowledge and to the witness of God. It is precious that a servant of God can honourably do this, as we see with Samuel in 1 Samuel 12:3-5. Now three features of their behaviour press upon us: "holily," which is Godward; "justly," manward; and "unblameably," selfward. Men commonly ignore the first, and it is the most important of all. They excuse personal evil by claiming they harm no one but themselves. That leaves only their relationship with others to be seriously considered. But the child of God must ignore none of these spheres of responsibility. Only then is behaviour wholesome, solid and dependable.
Commentators differ on the third word. Another reading keeps all three within the circle of God and fellow believers. It lets the last one reach out to the watching world as well.
What a record of the life of a Christian — and made, too, under the eye of God and before the eyes of men. It takes in three spheres, if we understand it rightly. "Holily" refers to his walk with God. "Justly" refers to his relationships with his fellow believers. "Unblameably" refers to his conduct still in respect of believers, though it perhaps also includes the world as the source of contamination.
The verse sits between two pictures: a nursing mother, and a father charging his children. The life Paul lived in front of them links the two.
If the Apostle was gentle as a nurse, he also faithfully charged them as "a father does his own children." To charge others, however, calls for a faithful and holy walk. The Apostle's walk was exactly that. So he can call them to witness, and God also, that he lived among these believers piously, holily and blamelessly.
What holds for Paul holds for anyone who serves the Lord.
He would urge them to conduct like his own with all the weight that his own walk gave him, just as he would want their growth in love to match the affection he had for them. It is this which gives authority to the exhortation, and to every word of a servant of the Lord.
The reverse is also true. A messenger can drive people away from a sound message.
Their lives and conduct were beyond reproach. How enormously important this is! Rub a magnet with garlic and it loses its power to attract. And if worldliness or self-seeking taints an evangelist or a pastor, he repels people. People hold his name in contempt, and his preaching falls on deaf ears.
- Witnessed. Paul submits his conduct to two courts at once: the people who watched him daily, and God. So he kept a conscience free of offence toward both.
- Threefold. Writers read the three words as three spheres: holy toward God, righteous toward others, blameless in the rest of life. They differ over whether that last word looks inward at self or outward at the world.
- Undivided. People drop the first sphere most easily. They excuse private wrong because it harms nobody else. A believer leaves none of the three out.
- Authorising. A holy walk lets a man charge others as a father charges his children. It gives a servant's words their weight.
- Attractive or repellent. Conduct beyond reproach draws people to the message. Worldliness or self-seeking in the messenger makes even true preaching fall on deaf ears.
as ye know how, as a father his own children, we used to exhort each one of you, and comfort and testify,
Paul has just compared himself to a nurse caring for her children; now he takes up the picture of a father with each of his own. The verse shows what real care looks like: how it changes as people grow, how personal it is, and what it aims at.
The two pictures in this chapter are not two people. They are one love meeting two stages of growth.
First, when they were still at the infant stage, he cherished them as a nurse. When they grew a little, he went on with his course, working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of them, and preaching to them the gospel of God. He exhorted, comforted and charged every one of them, as a father does his children. As they grew, the way he met their need changed. But the same love that had cared for them as a nurse now exhorted them as a father.
They came to faith through Paul's preaching, so he stood to them as a father. Each thing he did met a different need.
This picture implies the spiritual relationship God had formed between Paul and these believers. They came to faith through his work, so they were his children in the faith. Standing in that relationship, he carried a special responsibility. He therefore sought to train them up in the way they should go. To this end he exhorted them when he saw the need to urge them forward. He comforted them if they were depressed, downcast, or sorrowful. He charged each one about his own responsibility, explaining that the standard set before them was to walk worthy of God, who had called them to His kingdom and glory.
The middle word is worth a pause. Two Greek words are both translated "comfort," and Paul uses the warmer of the two here.
The words parakaleo and paramutheomai are both translated "to comfort," but there is a difference between them. The second word comes from para and muthos, "a word, speech." It occurs in four places (John 11:19, 31; 1 Thessalonians 2:11; 1 Thessalonians 5:14), where the Authorised Version translates it "comfort." It seems to express more tenderness than the first word.
Paul dealt with them one at a time. That rules out care handed out only in bulk, from a distance.
They knew this fatherly care. The apostle had counselled and advised every one of them separately and tenderly. He did it not just from the platform, but one by one. None of them could miss a concern for his welfare that sprang from the warm affections of a father. So we see fatherly care at work.
A father's charge carries weight only when his own life backs it.
If the Apostle was gentle as a nurse, he also charged them faithfully, as a father does with his own children. But to charge others calls for a faithful and holy walk. The Apostle's walk was such that he can call them to witness, and God also, that he lived among these believers in a devout, holy and blameless way.
All this exhorting and charging had one aim: a walk worthy of God, who calls people to His own kingdom and glory. Whether the saints keep that in view shapes how they live.
What could better show that His kingdom bears on how we walk now? And it is well known that losing sight of it leaves the saints open to seeking ease and honour, and wealth and all worldliness. With His kingdom and glory before us, we can bear present shame and suffering with a whole heart, and this lifts the walk.
- One love, two forms. The nurse and the father are one love adjusting to growth. It cherishes the newborn, then trains the child who has begun to grow.
- Three tools. Exhorting urges forward. Comforting lifts the sorrowful. Charging presses each person's own responsibility.
- One by one. Fatherly care reaches each person on his own, not just from the platform. Then no one can miss the concern for his welfare.
- Backed by a life. Charging others needs a faithful and holy walk. Paul could call the Thessalonians and God as witnesses to his own conduct.
- Aimed at glory. The goal is a walk worthy of God, who calls us to His kingdom and glory. Keeping that in view lifts the walk. Losing it opens the door to ease, honour and worldliness.
that ye should walk worthy of God, who calls you to his own kingdom and glory.
Paul has just described how he worked among the Thessalonians. Here he names the goal of all that labour. It is a life that matches God Himself, steadied by God's call into His own kingdom and glory. Two questions press. What does it mean to walk worthy of God? And how does a future kingdom shape life now?
These three verbs are not repetition. Each one meets a different need.
Exhorting stirs up faith. Comforting binds up love. Charging strengthens hope, like the charge of the Lord Jesus to His servants, "Engage in business until I come." (Luke 19:13) This threefold ministry was needed so that they might "walk worthy of God" — the triune God, who had called them "to His kingdom and glory."
Paul also names "each one of you." His care was personal, and the calling itself set its direction:
He watched over each one, and all of them, with constant and thoughtful care. His exhortation, comfort, and testimony always stirred, cheered, and guided them in the ways that suit the God who calls to His own kingdom and glory. There He will have His own with Christ soon and for ever. He would have them walk now in that hope, and in a way worthy of it.
Scripture uses this "walk worthy" language more than once. Comparing the passages shows what is distinctive here.
I think there is a practical difference in the three "walkings worthy," though they are essentially the same. In Thessalonians we have the measure itself and its nature — "Worthy of God," imitators of God as dear children, "Who has called us to His own kingdom and glory." Then we see what this is, shown in a perfect and divine expression of it in Christ — "Worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing." In Ephesians 4 we have more our own present place in it by the Holy Spirit — "the calling with which we are called."
The measure is God Himself, seen in the light of where He is taking us:
"Worthy of God!" Think what this is, and that it is according to the place we are to have with Him in glory, when all is complete.
A standard this high could be misread as a way of earning God's favour. The order runs the other way. God makes us His, then tells us to act like it.
Christian duties are real. They flow from the new relationship that grace forms in Christ. We must first be in the relationship before the duties are there. People make a serious mistake here. They treat the duties as a way of getting into relationship with God... You cannot fulfil the duties of a child until you are one, or show the love of one either... God makes us His children, and then says, Now imitate your Father.
Both sides stand together, and neither cancels the other:
Note, it is not responsibility as to our acceptance; we are in Christ. But if that is true, the other side is also true. "Walk worthy," therefore, "of God, who has called you to His kingdom and glory."
This call puts the believer's honour on a different scale from the world's.
The world thinks it an honour to stand with those who are high in the kingdoms of this world and its glory. How far greater the privilege of standing with those whom God has called to His kingdom and glory! Down here they may have been only ignorant and unlearned fishermen. Yet they are going to sit on thrones judging in the kingdom of Christ. It is a far greater honour to be found with them than with the greatest ruler of this passing world.
What we expect shapes how we live now. Losing sight of the kingdom leaves a mark.
What could more prove His kingdom as bearing on present walk? And in fact it is well known that when the saints lose sight of it, they are left open to seeking ease and honour, and wealth and all worldliness. With His kingdom and glory before us, we can gladly bear present shame and suffering, and this lifts our walk.
- Called — God's call comes first. Grace forms the relationship, and only then do the duties of a child begin.
- Measured — The call sets the standard. It is not human opinion, but God Himself, seen in the place we are to have with Him in glory.
- Carried — Exhortation stirs faith, comfort binds up love, and charge strengthens hope. Paul gave that care to each one.
- Crowned — Standing with those who will reign with Christ outweighs any honour this passing world can offer.
- Changed — Keep the kingdom in view and shame becomes bearable. Lose sight of it and ease, honour and wealth take over.