For thus also the holy women who have hoped in God heretofore adorned themselves, being subject to their own husbands;
Peter is not asking Christian wives to try something new — women whose hope was set on God already lived this way long before them. The verse joins hope in God, an inward adorning, and subjection to a husband into one way of life, not three separate rules.
Peter points back to women whose record survived. One writer warns against reading it as something from another era:
Here we remember the example of holy women of old, who trusted in God. Even then, of course, there were women whose character was the complete opposite. But they have been forgotten, unlike those whose record stands in the word of God as having a refreshing spirit of faith in God and subjection to their own husbands. Let us not fall into the devil's common trap today of thinking such godly women are "out of date." Their example keeps its moral beauty. It fits present-day needs just as well as it fitted their own.
The verse names their hope before it names their clothing.
Peter was led to speak of those in earlier times who bore witness for God in this respect… Their hope rested on God, not on themselves. Sarah stood at the head of these godly women of Israel. She was not alone, for quite a few saints had the same spirit. And she was far from forgetting the true ornaments that suit saints.
Peter does not drop the idea of beauty. He moves it. Writing to a young bride, one commentator set what fades against what lasts:
Time will leave its mark on you and on everything you own, but you may have a beauty in your home that never fades. You may fill your home with a fragrance that will not pass away. You may adorn yourself with a garment that will never grow old, one that suits you even better than your wedding dress. What is it? It is "a meek and quiet spirit which, in the sight of God, is of great price." It may be an old-fashioned adornment… It may not be fashionable in the world, but how pleased God will be with it.
The verse ends with subjection. One writer sets out how the arrangement works:
If the husband is a Christian, he obeys the word and she obeys him. This is an excellent and delightful arrangement, made according to the wisdom of God. Subjection, remember, does not mean inferiority. In business partnerships two men may be equal partners, and yet one is recognised as the senior with whom the final decision rests. So in the marriage bond, creation fitted the man for the senior, directing place in the partnership, and the woman for the subject place. Yet she is an heir together with her husband of the grace of life, and shares with him in his exercises and prayers. If the husband loves and honours his wife as a fellow heir and partner, and she honours and obeys him, the result is an ideal marriage.
Peter is addressing wives, but the ornament he names in verse 4 is "the hidden person of the heart." Older translations read "the hidden man of the heart," and one writer takes that wording to include men:
While we are speaking specifically about women, that does not mean those of us who are men are exempt from this exhortation — not at all. The reason is that in connection with the women it says "let it be the hidden man of the heart" (v.4). So this takes us all in.
The adorning is inward, but one writer sees its light reaching well past the front door:
May the Lord grant that in these last days many more Christian households may be blessed with the quiet, wholesome influence of godly housewives — true "daughters of Sarah," whose adorning is not outward… And more than that: may their homes on earth reflect the heavenly light to which they belong. As "lights in the Lord" and "children of light," they would prove by a heavenly life on earth that they are living in heaven.
- Hope first. These women rested on God, not on themselves. Everything else in the verse grows from that.
- Hidden next. The adorning is inward — "the hidden person of the heart" — so it takes in men as much as women.
- Worn, not bought. It is a garment that never grows old, unlike beauty and possessions that time marks.
- Ordered, not lowered. Subjection is a place in a partnership, not a verdict of inferiority; the wife is a fellow heir of the grace of life.
- Old, therefore proven. The women who lived the opposite way are forgotten; the record God kept is the one still worth copying today.
as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; whose children ye have become, doing good, and not fearing with any kind of consternation.
Peter points wives back to one word Sarah spoke about Abraham. She said it under her breath, to herself. Two questions follow: what did calling him "lord" mean, and how does a woman become one of Sarah's children?
Peter draws on the moment Sarah overheard the promise of a son and laughed to herself. No one else was meant to hear what she said.
Sarah is singled out here, the wife of Abraham, the man of faith. She herself is a symbol of the fruitful principle of grace at work in subjection to God. She obeyed Abraham, calling him "lord." Gen. 18:12 shows the occasion: Sarah spoke within herself, not out loud. That shows the practice was willing and habitual, not adopted because others were listening.
That private whisper became public property:
Sarah never thought that those words, "My lord," whispered to herself in the secret room of her heart, would reach Holy Scripture two thousand years later. The Spirit of the One who was then her husband's guest recorded them — a pattern for godly women of all ages, of genuine submission and obedience of the heart. This is how God owns and honours true obedience of the heart. And where this exists, there will always be ready submission in words and actions.
The word behind Sarah's title is ordinary language of respect. People of every rank used it.
Adon (lord) first occurs in Gen. 18:12, where Sarah speaks of Abram as "her lord"; and 1 Peter 3:6 says "Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord." The common use of the word is this: acknowledged deference to the person addressed. The superiority may lie in position under a relationship — a husband addressed by a wife, a landholder addressing a foreign prince, a servant a master, a subject a king, and so on.
But the title was not the whole of that marriage.
Sarah was quite right in calling her husband by that term. But it would have been a very poor and miserable thing if Abraham had been nothing to her but lord. No — Abraham was her husband. He had responsibilities towards Sarah, not just Sarah having duties towards him. It is a very meagre way of looking at relationships if we only see one side of them, and that the side that suits us.
Peter quotes Sarah from the very scene where Genesis shows her at her worst. She laughed in unbelief, then denied it.
Is there a gentle hint here of the time when Sarah laughed in unbelief? She had quietly overheard the LORD promise she would have a son (Gen. 18:10-15). See how graciously the Spirit speaks openly of her fitting behaviour toward her husband at that same time! Yet He did not spare her then, when she even denied her laughter. Here He only records her good conduct, and calls her children to remember it.
The tie to Sarah is conduct, not birth. One writer quotes an older wording: "whose children you became."
But the terms used are notable: "whose children you became, doing good and not being afraid of any dismay." They were far from this in their unrenewed state. The Lord Jesus does not find, but makes, us what pleases God. In those far from Him self-will reigns. They resent every wrong done to them, and their submission comes from fear, self-interest, or amiability at best. What a change faith in God's grace in Christ works! … They were not merely descendants by birth. In John 8 the Lord rebuked the unbelieving Jews as Abraham's seed but not his children — otherwise they would do the works of Abraham.
The closing phrase is not about temperament. One writer separates a woman's natural timidity from the courage of faith.
This might at first seem strange, since fear and timidity, not courage or boldness, form the woman's natural character. But natural timidity has nothing to do with the quiet courage of faith… It is true that nothing is more repugnant than mere natural boldness in a woman. Yet history in every age bears out a well-known truth, above all the history of the women martyrs during the early persecutions. The most godly, gentle, obedient and submissive women have been the very ones who showed a quiet courage of faith.
Where does that steadiness come from? One writer answers with what these wives now know:
Why should they be frightened, who know that Christ's Father is their Father, and Christ's God is theirs? … The enemy works by fear; God by His love in Christ against every source of alarm.
- Hidden. Sarah honoured Abraham "within herself" — a settled habit, not a show for onlookers.
- Honoured. God took that private whisper and wrote it into Scripture as the pattern for godly women in every age.
- Gracious. The Spirit records her good conduct at the very moment she failed, and calls her children to remember it.
- Adopted. No one is Sarah's child by birth; you become her child by doing good — the Lord Jesus makes us what pleases God.
- Fearless. Subjection here carries the quiet courage of faith: the enemy works by fear, God works by His love in Christ.