Children, let us not love with word, nor with tongue, but in deed and in truth.
John's appeal is short, but it lands on the thing that is easiest to fake. He asks whether our love ever shows up outside our talk.
The two phrases John rejects are not one idea said twice. One writer goes back to the Greek behind the first word and finds it covers more than speech. (The ESV renders the two phrases "in word or talk.")
The apostle says, "Let us love not in word, neither in tongue." This looks like repetition, but it is not. The term "logos," here translated "word," has a much wider meaning than our "word." In English, "not in word, neither in tongue" is repetition. But this word "logos" means, in Greek, not merely the word by which thought is expressed, but the thought itself. So the apostle's point is this. We are not to love in theory (or in thought), nor in mere language ("in tongue"), but in deed and in truth.
Commentators differ on the exact shade of the two terms. Another reads them as the plain statement and then the skill of saying it well:
In 'word' is the actual expression coming from our lips, which may be very good, but with no actions to back it up. In 'tongue' would rather indicate the handling of the words, the art of persuasive speech. How empty this is if its truth is not proved in our deeds.
The verse does not just call for activity. It calls for acts that come out of love:
Love as a theory is held to be very beautiful — but it is not practised. The heart deceives itself. This is loving in thought only. This passage is the reverse of 1 Corinthians 13. There Paul deals with works without love. Here it is, as it were, love without works — that is, mere sentimentality. But our passage crushes both errors. It condemns love without deeds, and also deeds without love. It calls for deeds, but the deeds must come from love; that is, not in theory, nor in talk, but in acts and in truth.
The call is not a random rule. God asks us to answer Him in the way He loved us:
God looks for reality. He is not satisfied with mere words of high profession. He says to us, "Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." He, blessed be His name, did not love us in word or in talk. He loved us in deed and in truth. And He looks for a response from us — a response that is clear, full, and distinct. It is a response that comes out in a life of good works.
Dying for a fellow believer is rare. One writer points to a test far closer to home:
We may not often be called to lay down our life for our brothers and sisters. But are there not plain, simple, everyday ways in which love is tested? My brother may have need. It is no use talking about being ready to die for him if I shrink back at once from meeting his ordinary, and maybe urgent, need. There is nothing great here. It is ordinary, but how practical! How it puts the heart to the test, and it is a test that could come any day of the week.
Another writer pictures how that failure looks in daily life:
"Let us not love in word or talk." It would not be divine love to send the poor brother away with a blessing — I mean a spoken one, so well known — and the latest improved tract. Divine love gives real, material help.
Talk about love can even take the form of complaining that others lack it:
This is a duty about which many deceive themselves. Nothing is easier than to call for love and complain that others are short of it. But some who are loudest in the complaint are very short of it themselves. They want, or think they want, to be objects of love; but the right way is for us to love, if we would indeed be loved. When the heart goes out in goodness with no selfish aim, it draws out other hearts. The lip, though, learns all too easily to talk about love and stop there.
Love like this also does something inside the believer:
The point here is that if we love in deed and in truth, our hearts will have assurance before God, and so have boldness in prayer.
- Pattern. God did not love us in word or talk, so words alone cannot be our answer to Him.
- Word. John rules out two things: the private theory of love, and the polished talk about it.
- Balance. The verse cuts two ways: it condemns love without deeds, and deeds that do not come from love.
- Test. The test is rarely dying for a brother. It is meeting his ordinary need today with real help, not a kind sentence.
- Result. Love proved in deeds gives the heart assurance before God. That assurance gives boldness in prayer.
And hereby we shall know that we are of the truth, and shall persuade our hearts before him --
The verse follows the call to love not in word or talk but in deed and in truth. Two phrases carry the weight: being "of the truth," and having a heart set at rest "before Him."
The phrase is not asking whether a person is a Christian.
Knowing "that we are of the truth" does not mean knowing that we are Christians. Some have taken it that way. But the apostle wrote to these people because they were already Christians, because they knew the Father, because their sins were forgiven them for His name's sake. He urges them to love not "in word or talk, but in deed and in truth," and then adds, "By this we shall know that we are of the truth." That is, we are truly walking in the truth; the truth has hold of us, we are "of the truth."
One writer compares this assurance to buying a fruit tree.
A man buys a tree sold to him as one kind of apple tree. To reassure him, the grower who raised it gives him a signed certificate. That is good, but a mistake is possible. Then the season comes, and he picks that exact kind of apple from the tree. Now his assurance is as complete as assurance can be. When the love and the truth of God bear their fruit in the life and in deed, our hearts may well be assured.
Some have used this verse to argue that certainty of acceptance with God rests on our works.
It is useless to appeal to 1 John 2:3 and 1 John 3:18-19 to prove that Scripture makes the full assurance of our acceptance depend on our works or our experiences. The apostle deals with a completely different question. In this very letter he assumes that our acceptance is already settled, even for the youngest children in God's family… So in chapter 3 the question is "assurance of heart." It is not about finding out whether we have a part in Christ. It is about keeping our confidence toward God unbroken.
Another writer names what is at stake.
"Reassure our heart before Him." The subject here is clearly freedom with God, not salvation or condemnation.
The same writer weighs the word behind "reassure," which older translations render "assure."
To be "of the truth" is the basis of truthfulness in practice… If we are kept watchful and earnest before God, loving and humble as well, "we shall know that we are of the truth." This inspires boldness or confidence before God. The word is not exactly "assure," but "persuade our hearts before Him." That is the simple and literal meaning. What is meant is not standing, nor assurance of faith, but the heart's boldness before God in a walk of sincere and active love.
The next verse takes the opposite case: a heart that condemns. Commentators differ on why God is greater than our heart. One takes it as a call to self-judgment, not comfort.
Why should we want comfort when we have displeased Him? He wants us to be humbled instead… "For if our heart condemns us" — this is just what our heart does when we walk badly. Something grieves the Spirit of God, and we have not judged ourselves before Him as we should.
Another takes the same words as pointing a troubled believer to God.
What is the resource of the soul in such a case? "God is greater than our heart, and knows everything." To turn away from God would be complete folly, for in such a need He is our only Refuge. Moreover, He knows more than we do about our failure, and knows also how to overcome it.
This assurance also decides how we fare in prayer.
If this kindness to one another is missing, our hearts will condemn us, and God knows this. But if we are walking in true love for one another, we have confidence toward God, and we receive answers to prayer… Nothing could be clearer. If we want to succeed in prayer, we must be obedient children, and walk in real, practical love with our brothers and sisters in the Lord.
One writer pictures this with an unpaid debt.
It is not a question of being, or not being, children of God. It is a question of the children being on happy, confident terms with their Father. If I owe a man a debt I should have paid, meeting him is awkward. But if there is nothing between us, and I trust his generosity, I can go to him confidently with a request.
- Cause — Love shown in deed, not in talk, is what "by this" points back to. The assurance of this verse has no other source.
- Proof — Being "of the truth" means walking in it now, not discovering for the first time that you belong to God.
- Place — The assurance is before Him. It is a heart made bold in God's presence, not a verdict on your salvation.
- Warning — When the heart does condemn, God knows more than we do. Commentators differ: does that humble us, or shelter us?
- Result — A heart that does not condemn us gives confidence toward God, and there answered prayer begins.