But I wish you to be without care. The unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he shall please the Lord;
Paul is dealing with marriage in this chapter, and here he gives the reason behind his advice: he wants them free from anxious care. Two questions follow. Is Paul putting marriage down? Is the single life a higher calling?
Paul's first aim is not the single life. It is a mind free from worry. One writer points out that Paul describes what usually happens, not what has to happen:
There was another matter to be considered as well. The great and important thing in his eyes was that people should live free from care. He wanted them free from that weight of anxiety which would disturb their walk with God. In fact, he is not speaking of what should be, or of what has to be, but of what is so often found. The unmarried person would naturally be concerned for the things of the Lord, and for pleasing Him. He has no one else to please.
Another writer pictures the single believer as a runner carrying less weight. Paul urges this freedom, yet he ties no one down:
Here the apostle presses the greater freedom from everyday anxiety which the single man or woman enjoys, compared with the married. It is freedom for serving and pleasing the Lord. There is less weight in the race and less distraction from the goal. Yet even here the apostle speaks with caution and delicacy. He would not tie anyone down. He sought their good, with an eye to what is fitting and to undistracted waiting on the Lord.
Paul goes on to say that the married man is anxious about worldly things. One commentator denies that this is a rebuke, and reads it as part of a husband's proper place:
The apostle speaks here in a positive way, because he is measuring Christian character, not as it too often shows itself, but at its true worth as the proper effect of faith. The unmarried saint is joined to his Redeemer, and seeks to please Him by caring for His things... He does not quite mean it as a reproach when he adds, "The married man cares for the world." Within proper limits, this is right for his position. He is no longer free, as before; nor may he deny his wife, even for Christ's sake, as he might deny himself. To love his wife, and honour her, are now among the settled duties of his place. In carrying them out, he may find himself both lower and less happy, spiritually, than when he lived only for the Lord.
Another writer sets this verse beside verse 7 of the same chapter, and warns against copying Paul's path without Paul's gift:
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 teaches that the unmarried are the most free from care. But verse 7 teaches just as clearly that "every man has his own proper gift of God." Each one must know for himself what his own gift is... It is a fatal mistake to expect to walk in a path for which God has not given you a call, or the spiritual power... Marriage is a holy and honourable institution. God established it in the Garden of Eden, and He gave it His approval by His presence at Cana of Galilee.
Being single is an opportunity, not a guarantee. One writer reminds us that God has often used married believers more:
Of course it does not follow that this is always the case. A believer may be unmarried for other reasons, and may not be making the Lord the supreme object of his life... Of course we know that, despite this, God has used and blessed many married men far more than many others who have stayed unmarried.
Freedom from care goes deeper than being single or married. One writer traces it to reckoning yourself dead to the claims of nature:
The apostle only wanted them free from anxiety and distraction, so that they might serve the Lord. If reckoning themselves dead to nature did not produce this effect, they gained nothing; they lost by it... If they subdued and silenced the will of nature, they served the Lord without distraction. They lived according to the Spirit and not according to nature, even in the things God had appointed as good for nature.
- Care — the whole passage aims at anxiety, the weight that disturbs a believer's walk with God. Marriage comes up only as it adds to that weight.
- Freedom — the unmarried person carries less weight in the race. He has no one else to please, so less pulls him from the goal.
- Fairness — the married man's care for his wife is not a rebuke. Loving and honouring her are settled duties of his place. He is no longer as free as before.
- Gift — Paul offers his own path; he does not command it. Each person must know his own gift from God. Walking a path God has not given is a fatal mistake.
- Result — Paul seeks undistracted service. That comes from a will subdued and silenced, not from being married or single.
but he that has married cares for the things of the world, how he shall please his wife.
Paul weighs two ways of living for one Lord: the single believer has one person to please, while the married believer must please a wife as well. The verse does not scold the husband; it names what his position costs him.
The contrast serves one goal, named in the verse just before: freedom from anxious care. One writer puts the comparison in the language of a race.
Here the apostle points out how much freer the single man or woman is from earthly anxiety than the married, and so freer to serve and please the Lord. There is less weight in the race and less distraction from the goal. Yet even here the apostle speaks with care and gentleness. He would not trap anyone. He sought their good, aiming at what is fitting and at undistracted waiting on the Lord.
Being "anxious about worldly things" sounds like a charge. In its place, it names duties a husband is not free to drop.
He is not really making a reproach when he adds that the married man "is anxious about worldly things." Within proper limits this is right for his position. He is no longer free, as he was before. He may not deny his wife, even for Christ's sake, as he might deny himself. Loving his wife and honouring her are now among the settled duties of his place. In doing them, he may find himself both lower and less happy in spirit than when he lived only for the Lord.
Paul is not stating a rule for every marriage. He names the temptation that comes with a second person to please.
In fact, he is not speaking of what should be, or what has to be, but of what is so often found. The unmarried man would naturally care for the things of the Lord, to please Him. He has no one else to please. A married man clearly has another person to please. So he is at least tempted to care for the things of the world, to please his wife.
A wife shapes much of where her husband's care goes. Writing to a woman about to marry a man engaged in the Lord's work, one writer warns her plainly.
You are in a serious position. A wife always has great influence on a Christian husband. As the apostle teaches us, he is in danger of caring for the things of the world to please her. That danger is greater still when the husband is a worker for the Lord and has been blessed in that work… Do not try to weaken his energy. A wife sometimes likes to have her husband for herself. When her husband is the Lord's worker, that is a great evil… A husband must care for his wife, consider her, and do anything but neglect her. It is truly evil and sad when he neglects her.
The verse gives the single believer an advantage, but not a monopoly on usefulness.
A believer may be unmarried for other reasons, and may not really be making the Lord the supreme object of his life. But he does not have the care of a wife to take up his time and attention, so he should have more time for the Lord… Of course we know that, despite this, God has used and blessed many married men far more than many others who stayed unmarried.
Some turn this passage into a law, because Paul's own example is attractive. Verse 7 of the same chapter blocks that.
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 teaches that the unmarried are the most free from care. But verse 7 teaches just as plainly that "each has his own gift from God." Each one must know for himself what his own gift is… It is a fatal mistake for anyone to expect to walk a path for which God has not given him a call or the spiritual power. In these days of ritual and revived monastic life, remember that marriage is holy and honourable. God established it in the Garden of Eden, and He approved it by His presence at Cana in Galilee.
- Aim — Paul aims at undistracted service. The single believer runs with less weight and less distraction from the goal.
- Duty — A married man's care for worldly things belongs to his position, not to his sin. Loving and honouring his wife are now settled duties.
- Temptation — Paul describes what is often found, not what must be. A second person to please can pull the heart toward the things of the world.
- Influence — A wife who wants her husband for herself can weaken the energy of the Lord's worker. Even so, her husband must never neglect her.
- Freedom — This is counsel, not a vow. Each has his own gift from God, marriage is honourable, and God has used many married men more than many single ones.
There is a difference between the wife and the virgin. The unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but she that has married cares for the things of the world, how she shall please her husband.
Paul has just said that a married man's concerns are split. Here he draws the same line for women — and raises the question of whether the single life is a higher grade of Christian.
The point of the whole passage is not the marriage bond itself but the weight it adds to a life already running a race.
Here the apostle presses one point. The single man or woman is freer from earthly anxiety than the married, and so freer to serve and please the Lord. There is less weight in the race and less distraction from the goal.
The term Paul uses is not limited to women. The value of staying single depends on what it is for.
It seems clear that in this passage the word "virgin" covers the unmarried of either sex. Here is the Apostle's teaching in short. Marriage is good, as is every institution God has set up. It is wholly right and allowed. Yet staying unmarried is better, if it is kept up so that the person is more fully at the Lord's disposal for His interests. If such people do not "attend upon the Lord without distraction," their celibacy may only cast a snare on them.
The wife's attention to worldly things is her duty, not a lapse. One writer names two sisters from the Gospels — Martha, who served, and Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet.
The wife is holy too, but her calling makes her more a "Martha" than a "Mary." She cares for her husband and obeys him. Pleasing him is her proper aim, so she also cares for the things of the world. To think now of the things of Christ, in the spirit of her unmarried liberty, would be to fail in her duties as a wife. For she is no longer her own.
Because of that, the choice deserves weighing before it is made:
Let her weigh this well when she is sought in marriage, and not lightly surrender the place she already holds in God's household.
Paul is not describing an achievement anyone can copy by decision. Earlier in the same chapter he says, "each has his own gift from God" (verse 7; the writer below uses an older wording).
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 teaches that the unmarried are the most free from care. But verse 7 teaches just as plainly that "every man has his own proper gift of God." Each one must know for himself what his proper gift is. It is one thing to say, "Follow Paul's example," and quite another to have the "proper gift" to do it. It is a fatal mistake for anyone to expect to walk in a path for which God has not given him a call or the spiritual power.
The advantage is real, but it rests on an inward condition God gives:
The unmarried state has its advantages where grace gives the right inward condition… But God does not give this to everyone. It is not of man's will but of divine grace. Make it a law, and you destroy the grace.
The verse states a tendency rather than a fixed law of the spiritual life.
In fact, he is not speaking of what should be or what needs to be, but of what is so often found. The unmarried person would naturally care for the things of the Lord, to please Him. He has no one else to please… He does not want to lay down rules, since keeping them might only be a snare to them. He wants them to seek to serve the Lord without distraction, whatever their course may be.
The remedy for a divided heart is not escape from marriage but a quieted will.
When married, they were occupied with things below, to please their wives and provide for their children. But they enjoyed a rest of mind. In it nature did not claim her rights with a will they had failed to silence, and they kept holiness of walk and of heart. If they brought the will of nature under and silenced it, they served the Lord without distraction.
- Divided — Marriage is good, but it divides. The married have a second person to please, and that adds weight to the race.
- Devoted — Staying single is better only when it is kept for the Lord's interests. Otherwise it becomes a snare instead of a gain.
- Given — The single life is a gift from God, not a target to aim at. Make it a law, and you destroy the grace in it.
- Honoured — The wife's care for her husband is her calling, not her failure. She is no longer her own, and pleasing him is her proper aim.
- Undistracted — The goal in every case, married or not, is to serve the Lord without distraction. That comes when the will of nature is silenced, not when circumstances change.
But I say this for your own profit; not that I may set a snare before you, but for what [is] seemly, and waiting on the Lord without distraction.
Paul has just weighed marriage against singleness. Now he explains why: he wants their good, not a rule laid over their lives, and his aim is their undivided devotion to the Lord.
The tone here is close to an apology:
Having set the better way before them, he now apologises for his words, while still holding his position. He speaks only in their interest as his spiritual children. He does not want to trap them in rash purposes, or have them tie themselves carelessly to resolutions which might prove painful to their flesh. But there is a spiritual beauty that he loved himself, and he would gladly see them captivated by it too. If God gave them strength, they might match him in the race of single-hearted zeal.
The word behind "restraint" is a strong one. Kelly gives his own translation of the phrase and shows the care in Paul's tone:
"Not that I may cast a snare [literally, a noose] over you, but for what is seemly and waiting on the Lord undistractedly." Here the apostle urges the greater freedom from earthly anxiety. The single man or woman is freer than the married to serve and please the Lord. There is less weight in the race and less distraction from the goal. Yet even here the apostle speaks with caution and delicacy. He would not entangle anyone; he sought their welfare with a view to what is fitting, and to undistracted attention on the Lord.
The snare is not marriage. It can just as easily be the single state held for its own sake:
The apostle's teaching may be summed up in this. Marriage is good, as is every divine institution. It is wholly right and permissible. Yet to remain unmarried is better, if a person keeps that state to be more wholly at the Lord's disposal for His interests. If such people do not "attend upon the Lord without distraction," their celibacy may only cast a snare upon them.
Older translations end the verse: "that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction." One writer describes what that phrase supposes about the soul:
The apostle's words have often made a deep impression on me. What do we know of this? The language supposes the soul living by faith inside the heavenly sanctuary. It holds communion with the Lord without a burden and without a care. This is the Spirit's desire for us all.
The obstacle is not always outward circumstance. It can be an unsettled heart:
Sadly, how little there is of that among us — so little real rest of heart and soul, and therefore so little real waiting on the Lord without distraction. It is impossible to make the Lord our one object while we are still an object to ourselves. It is impossible while our hearts are restless and burdened.
Paul's concern all through is the weight people carry, not the state they are in:
The great and important thing in his eyes was that people should live without care. He meant freedom from the weight of anxiety that would disturb them in their walk with God... He is not saying this, as he declares again, constantly guarding it, for anything but their profit. He does not want to lay down rules, since keeping them might only be a snare to them. He wants them to seek to serve the Lord without distraction, whatever their course may be. There was no sin, as he insists again — no sin at all in marriage.
Paul refuses to make a rule. Kelly traces where a system that makes one goes wrong, even when it began sincerely:
No doubt it grew out of a desire for thorough devotedness... The unmarried state has its advantages where grace gives the right inward condition. That condition would fit into suitable outward circumstances and lead to such a life and service as we see in the apostle himself. But this is not given to all, nor is it of man's will but of divine grace. Make it a law, and the grace is destroyed.
- Profit, not pressure — Paul gives his motive first. Everything here is for their good, and he binds no one.
- No noose — the word he uses means a snare thrown over a person. He will not throw one. Singleness held without devotion becomes that very snare.
- Care removed — the goal is a life free from the anxiety that disturbs the walk with God, married or single.
- Devotion undivided — undistracted attention means communion held without a burden. A restless heart cannot give it, even when it is free.
- Grace, never law — the single life helps only where grace gives the inward fitness. Make it a rule, and the grace is destroyed.
But if any one think that he behaves unseemly to his virginity, if he be beyond the flower of his age, and so it must be, let him do what he will, he does not sin let them marry.
Paul has just urged undivided devotion to the Lord, and now he turns to the person for whom staying single has become a strain. Two questions follow: who is "his betrothed," and does marrying mean settling for less?
The ESV says "his betrothed"; other translations read "his virgin." Commentators differ on who is meant. One reading takes the whole passage as a man's decision about himself. The verses that follow keep pressing on his own will and his own heart:
Here it is not a question of a man's daughter but of his own state... The strong emphasis on the heart's purpose — for instance, "one's own will" and "one's own heart" — fits perfectly if the question is one's own virginity. But how would it fit a daughter's? Applied to her they sound arbitrary and inconsiderate beyond measure.
The other reading keeps a father in view, and draws a warning out of it for anyone with authority over a young person's future:
Let the Christian father have due respect for the affections of his child. He should indeed commend the higher path to her. But he must not turn a privilege into a punishment by forcing her into a celibacy she does not want. It would be less fitting to be a discontented virgin than a rejoicing bride... A parent should never use his authority in a way that provokes a just anger in the child... If her affections are engaged to another, that is a necessity he ought to yield to. His virgin must not be his victim.
The ESV reads "if his passions are strong." Another translation points to age instead. That wording is not about being too old to marry. It marks the point where youthful impulse is past and a settled judgment is possible:
Verse 36 is more correctly given in Mr. Darby's New Translation. It reads: "if he be beyond the flower of his age, and so it must be... he does not sin: let them marry." When the fleeting beauty of youth is past, and one is old enough to know what he is doing, he may think it more fitting and becoming for him to be married. To marry is then certainly not sin.
"It is no sin" is the heart of the verse. Paul leaves the choice open on purpose:
In speaking this way the Apostle has our profit in view. He has no wish to set a snare for us. He does not want us caught in the delusion of being monks or nuns. That delusion has led to so much corruption in a large part of professing Christendom. He leaves all free to marry.
The danger comes when people turn a rare exception into a rule:
There is a spiritual energy that lifts the person who receives it above ordinary conditions. But God's institution, here marriage, stays just the same... Marriage is the rule God has laid down. As an exception, the Holy Spirit can and does raise this one or that above the need of marriage. It was a question of God's gift; so that he who marries does well, and he who does not marry does better. The world-church shows the contrast to this holy wisdom. It turns the exception of grace into a rule.
Marrying is no sin, but Paul goes on to the man who can hold the other path. What marks him is inward steadiness:
If he stood firm, and had power over his own will, that was the better way. If he married, he still did well. If he did not marry, it was better.
Paul writes "let him do as he wishes." So no one can settle this by copying another person's path:
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 teaches that the unmarried are the most free from care, but verse 7 just as clearly teaches that "every man has his own proper gift of God." Each one must know for himself what his proper gift is. It is one thing to say, "Follow Paul's example," and quite another to have the "proper gift" to do it. It is a fatal mistake for anyone to expect to walk in a path for which God has not given him a call or the spiritual power.
- Reading — Commentators differ. Some take "his betrothed" as the man's own single state. Others read it as a father deciding for his daughter. Both readings land on the same practical outcome — let them marry.
- Timing — "Beyond the flower of his age" marks the moment when youthful impulse has passed. The person is now old enough to know what he is doing.
- Freedom — "It is no sin" leaves the choice open. Vows of enforced celibacy turn a gift into a snare and have bred corruption.
- Firmness — The better path belongs only to the one who stands firm and has power over his own will.
- Gift — Each has his own gift from God. Copying another person's calling without the power for it is a fatal mistake.
But he who stands firm in his heart, having no need, but has authority over his own will, and has judged this in his heart to keep his own virginity, he does well.
Paul closes his answers about marriage with a man who has settled the matter in his own heart and stays single. But who is the "virgin" here — a daughter in his care, or his own unmarried state? Commentators differ.
One reading takes the man to be deciding about himself. The verse keeps saying "his own heart" and "his own will," which fits a choice about his own single life.
Here there is no question of a man's daughter but of his own state. The Lord deserves to have us wholly devoted to Himself… The great emphasis given to the heart's purpose (for instance, "one's own will" and "one's own heart") suits perfectly if it is a question of one's own virginity, but how a daughter's? Applied to a daughter, they sound arbitrary and inconsiderate beyond measure.
Others read the verse as a father deciding about a daughter in his care. From that reading comes a warning to fathers.
But arbitrary decisions that rest only on the sacrifice of another's happiness never please God. So let the Christian father have real respect for his child's affections. He should indeed commend the higher path to her. But he must not turn a privilege into a punishment by condemning her to a single life she does not want. … He would do better to keep her unmarried than to give her, if his own will were the only one sacrificed; but his virgin must not be his victim.
The word behind "firmly established" points to inner stability. It appears in only two other places.
The Greek word hedraios (from hedra, "a seat or sitting") carries the thought of being stable, firm, within. Besides Colossians 1:23 it occurs only in 1 Corinthians 7:37, "he that stands firm in his heart," and in 1 Corinthians 15:58, "my beloved brothers, be firm."
One writer roots that steadiness in the affections, not in effort.
Steadfastness does not come from our own effort; it springs from the affections being right with God.
The verse stacks three conditions: firmness, no necessity, and control over his own will. One writer sees in them the man Jesus described as making himself a eunuch for the kingdom.
But one might stand with firmness of faith, having no necessity for marriage, having control over his own will, and purposing that he will maintain his virginity. This is the case of one making himself a eunuch for the kingdom of heaven's sake (Matthew 19:12). If it is not too common, it is still blessedly commendable.
This path rests on a gift, and not everyone is given it.
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 teaches that the unmarried are the most free from care, but verse 7 just as clearly teaches that "every man has his own proper gift of God." Each one must know for himself what his proper gift is. It is one thing to say "Follow Paul's example," and quite another thing to have the "proper gift" to do it. It is a fatal mistake for anyone to expect to walk in a path for which God has not given him a call or given him the spiritual power.
One writer takes "virgin" here to cover unmarried people of either sex. He weighs the single state by whether it leaves a person free for the Lord.
It seems clear enough that in this passage the word "virgin" covers the unmarried of either sex. The Apostle's teaching can be summed up like this. Marriage is good, as is every divine institution; it is wholly right and permissible. Yet to stay unmarried is better, if it is kept up so as to leave a person more wholly at the Lord's disposal for His interests. If such people do not give the Lord their "undivided devotion," their single life may only become a snare to them.
The same writer warns about what happens when this choice is forced on people.
The unmarried state has its advantages where grace gives the right inward condition. That condition would surely fit suitable outward circumstances and lead to the kind of life and service we see in the apostle himself. But this is not given to all. It is not of man's will but of divine grace. Make it a law, and the grace is destroyed. A swift harvest of sin, shame, and misery then proclaims the wisdom of God's ways and the folly of Christendom.
- Gift, first. This path rests on "his own proper gift of God." Admiring Paul's example is not the same as having the power to follow it.
- Gift, then firmness. The word for standing firm means inward stability. That steadiness comes from affections right with God, not from effort.
- Gift, then freedom. He is under no necessity and has his desire under control. He is not straining against himself, and so he does well.
- Gift, then purpose. Staying single is better only when it leaves a person wholly at the Lord's disposal. Without that aim it can become a snare.
- Never a law. Commentators differ over whose choice this is — the man's own, or a father's for his daughter. They agree on the limit: make it a rule, and the grace is destroyed.
So that he that marries himself does well; and he that does not marry does better.
Paul ends his advice on marriage with a comparison, not a command. One choice is good; the other is better. So whose choice is Paul weighing? And does calling one path "better" make the other second-best?
Commentators differ over whose situation Paul has in view. One reading takes the whole passage as a man deciding about his own single state, not about a daughter:
There is no question here of a man's daughter but of his own state. The Lord deserves to have us wholly devoted to Himself... The great emphasis on the heart's purpose — for instance, "one's own will" and "one's own heart" — fits perfectly if the question is a person's own virginity. But how would it fit a daughter's?
Others read it as a father deciding whether to give his daughter in marriage. Even then, they say, he must not force her:
Should he then decide not to give her in marriage? As a rule, he says, that would be the better way (v. 38). But arbitrary decisions that only stand by sacrificing someone else's happiness never please God... let him not turn a privilege into a punishment by forcing her into a single life she does not want. It would be less fitting for her to be a resentful unmarried woman than a joyful bride.
The first half of the verse gives clean approval, not grudging permission. Paul keeps saying there is no sin in it at all:
There was no sin, as he insists again — there was no sin of any kind in marriage. But if a man had no need of marriage, if he had authority over himself and had settled it in his heart to stay single, he did well. So, on the other hand, he says, the one who marries does well, although if he does not, he may do better.
This better path means undivided devotion to Christ. And no one can take it up at will — it has to be given.
While there are cases where marriage is a positive duty, there was plainly a better place of undivided devotion to Christ. Blessed is the one who is given to serve the Lord this way, without hindrance. Still, it must be the gift of God.
The comparison only holds when the Lord's will is followed in either case. Staying single for the wrong reasons does not make anyone the better party.
"So then he who marries does well; but he who does not marry does better." This assumes in each case that the will of the Lord is followed. Simply marrying, if it is not "in the Lord," could mean dreadful disaster. And refusing to marry out of selfish, evil motives is certainly not better than marrying, if the Lord were leading one to marry.
Paul leaves everyone free to marry. Take that freedom away, and the result is corruption, not holiness:
The Apostle has our profit in view. He has no wish to set a trap for us. He does not want us drawn into the delusion of becoming monks or nuns, which has caused so much corruption in a large part of the professing Christian world. He leaves all free to marry.
The exception is real, and only God's call makes it. Damage starts when people turn it into a rule for everyone:
Grace may call a servant of God to a path that does not fit with being married. Only the call of God is supreme. Yet the one who is called that way still respects the ordinary rule, and never despises it because of the exception. Error takes hold of the exception — even error cannot survive without a scrap or show of truth — and turns that exception into a human rule. This is Satan taking the place and rights of the Lord. His aim is to bring God into contempt, and to dazzle man with the vain hope of higher holiness and lead him into the depths of corruption.
- Better, not holier. Marrying "does well." There is no sin of any kind in it. The contrast is good versus better, never clean versus unclean.
- Better means undivided. Staying single frees a person to serve Christ without a rival claim. It is not a higher spiritual grade.
- Better is a gift. God has to give that path. Admiring it is not the same as being able to walk it.
- Better needs the Lord's leading. Both halves of the verse assume obedience. Refusing marriage from selfish motives is not "better" at all.
- Better must never become law. Commentators warn what happens when this exception becomes a rule: corruption, not holiness.