For *I* am the least of the apostles, who am not fit to be called apostle, because I have persecuted the assembly of God.
In a list of witnesses to the risen Christ, Paul turns to himself — and what he says is not a credential but a confession. Why does he rank himself last, and how can a man call himself unfit for the office he holds?
Paul measures himself against the men who had been with Jesus. The comparison goes against him.
"For I am the least of the apostles," etc. This low estimate of himself is both natural and sincere. He could not help rating himself far below those who had been with Jesus in His trials. The thrones of Israel's kingdom are reserved for them. In their presence he would not call himself their equal. What they had preached and suffered for, he had persecuted to the death. He could not, and ought not, to forget this.
He does not say he persecuted saints or believers. He picks the name that makes his act as heavy as it can be. (In the quote below, "assembly" translates the word the ESV gives as "church.")
Paul has left on record, in the first letter to the Corinthians, what it meant to him. Writing of his grievous sin before his conversion, he states that he persecuted the assembly of God. They were saints. They had shown themselves to be believers on the Lord Jesus. Yet he does not call them saints or believers. He writes of the assembly of God, exposing his former open and unrelieved hostility to the company gathered to God. Could he have expressed more strongly what he did in mistaken zeal for God?
The persecution was not a slip. It came out of his religion, and that is what makes it so serious.
"Concerning zeal, persecuting the Church," was Paul's own account afterwards of the state in which divine grace found him (Phil. 3:6). It did not change his conviction that he was the chief of sinners... A man's religion may be the worst thing about him. His sincerity in it will not stop its effect on him. Sincerity makes that effect more certain.
Later he saw what the church is. The memory grew sharper, not softer.
There was a special sorrow in Paul's feeling when he said, "Unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God." He was behind no one in service or in suffering for Christ. But he could not forgive himself that, before grace came, he had persecuted the church. Then he learned to see God's wonderful and wise thought about the church, the heavenly bride. He saw its beauty as the expression of God's thought. After that, how could he forgive himself? How could he ever get rid of the memory that he had been a persecutor of it?
Thinking little of himself never made Paul timid. The same man who called himself unworthy still knew how to stand up for his office.
Humility in the apostle did not mean weakness. When the occasion called for it, he knew how to magnify his office. He could write to another and say, "Let no one despise you for your youth." But of himself as a worker he could say, "To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given." On another occasion he said, "I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle... But by the grace of God I am what I am."
Christ appeared to Paul last of all, and out of the ranks of His enemies. So the confession does not end in shame.
Paul stood apart from all the rest in time and in character. He came "last of all," "as to one untimely born," as he says, when the number of the apostles might have seemed closed. Out of the middle of men filled full of Jewish hostility, Paul himself saw Him — a notable witness of divine grace, the grace that he was to be, above all, the witness of. "The least of the apostles," as he calls himself, not fit even to be called an apostle, because he persecuted the assembly of God. Still, grace here gained its fullest expression, Christ His sweetest victory.
- Crime. He names his past by its worst title — he attacked not just believers, but the church of God.
- Cause. His religious zeal drove it; sincerity did not soften the damage but made it more certain.
- Conscience. The memory stayed with him for life; the more he saw the church's beauty, the less he could forgive himself.
- Confidence. Low thoughts of himself never made him weak. He still knew how to stand up for his office.
- Conclusion. Grace found its fullest expression in the man least fit for the place.
But by God's grace I am what I am; and his grace, which [was] towards me, has not been vain; but I have laboured more abundantly than they all, but not *I*, but the grace of God which [was] with me.
Paul has just called himself the least of the apostles, a man not fit for the name because he had hunted down the church. This verse answers the question that follows: how did such a man outwork everyone else — and who gets the credit?
Paul's change was not the slow improvement of a good man. One writer says nothing else can explain it.
Those who attacked his apostleship were just as hostile to his full preaching of grace. His apostleship received real confirmation. The pride of human nature, in its merits or its wisdom, was put down. God was in every way exalted. Paul's own testimony also accounted for a revolution never surpassed, if even equalled, in any man's history since the world began. Nothing else can explain a man trained in the strictest traditions and ways of the Pharisees, who was now the boldest minister of the gospel... Truly it was the grace of God that was with him, and he loved to acknowledge it, while he humbled himself.
We tend to hear "by the grace of God I am what I am" as a statement about being forgiven. One writer says that is only half of it.
Our thoughts tend to dwell so much, and only, on acceptance. So we often take this passage, "By the grace of God I am what I am," as having to do with acceptance alone. But the Lord wants us to serve Him abundantly in Satan's world. That may mean fighting evil not only in ourselves but in others, and nothing but His grace can enable us to do this. The same "grace of God" that saved us at the beginning has also given us to serve and strengthens us for service.
Paul's correction — "not I, but the grace of God" — has two parts. One writer shows what each part does, and why Paul could speak of his own record freely.
It might look as though he were boasting in the number of his own activities here and elsewhere, but no. He took no praise to himself — "not I," in that he refused any glory; "but the grace of God," in that he gave all the glory to God. He boasted in grace and not in himself. This explains why he could speak of his experiences and his service freely and easily. He spoke for the glory of the grace he was the happy subject of, not for self-exaltation.
Paul says the grace given to him was not wasted. One writer weighs what it produced, and finds more than extra work.
There is a deep emphasis in these words. He was conscious of his former dishonour as the "chief of sinners," and just as conscious of his special distinction as the outstanding "minister of the Church." He was not one of the twelve apostles. Yet sovereign grace entrusted him with a work that in its nature and effects would exceed what God had done through them. His labours were not only more abundant, but of more lasting value... His divinely guided hand gave most of the great doctrines of the faith their fullest and clearest statement.
The same verse exposes a danger. Even a gift of grace can feed pride.
Here we see again the sin of our hearts: using the very grace God has given us for the purpose of self-exaltation... The flesh would use the very grace of God, the light of God, the truth of God, the power of God, to exalt ourselves.
It is easy to file this verse under "apostles only." One writer blocks that escape with Paul's own words about himself.
Let us not excuse ourselves by saying Paul was an apostle. He tells us that he was "less than the least of all saints" and that he was "nothing" — and when we get down there we will understand things better. Yet he says, "By the grace of God I am what I am… not I, but the grace of God that is with me." And that grace does not fail. Its supplies are as full as ever — as full for us as they were for Paul.
- Grace explains. Nothing in Paul's training or character explains how the persecutor became a preacher. Grace alone does.
- Grace equips. Grace does not stop at acceptance. The same grace that saved us also gives us work and strength for it.
- Grace works. The grace was not wasted. It produced work beyond all the rest and left the church its clearest teaching.
- Grace deflects. "Not I" refuses the glory; "but the grace of God" hands it over — which is why Paul can name his own record without pride.
- Grace endures. The flesh will try to turn the gift into self-exaltation; yet the supply itself is as full for us as it ever was for Paul.